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I am so very sorry that the health care program that you are in has

left you feeling at a complete loss. I have been a health care

provider for a very long time and have been; unfortunately, a

patient as well. I have said this time and time again. When you,

as a patient, go to a health care provider, you are the CUSTOMER.

You are paying for a service and deserve to be respected as any

other customer in any other organization would be. You should not

have to prove you are ill enough, you should not have to feel that

you can not be treated until you have reached the point of being

unbearable or risking your entire well being. Granted we do have to

watch out for individuals who may be presenting with drug seeking

behavior; but in all honestly that is extremely rare as most drugs

can be bought on the street or even by email now. We are cautious

about individuals who may be easily addicted, but I had already

explained that and we know how and when to treat. You seem to have

a lot of trouble with your current physician. The fact that you

feel the need to delay care, or begging for it; would certainly

indicate that you need to find a new physician. I, again, strongly

suggest that you tell that doc to do the job you have paid for or

you will go elsewhere. You dont have to be ugly about it. I

strongly feel that you have so much pent up frustration with that

doc that you may never feel comfortable enough around him/her to be

completely honest; and without honesty there is no way you can be

treated, medically, appropriately.

Just my opinion.

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Dear Scot,

There were several things you said in your post that really

disturbed me. All I can say is that I would hope that you would

listen to my interpretation of my own story in this regard, and

perhaps reconsider some of your decisions.

Scot wrote:

>Oh well. I'm sure their are dozens on this list who are suffering

far greater than I. Pain can be an adventure. I'm going to go as

long as I can. I have had at least a dozen acute attacks this year

and only once did I go to the ER. I'm one tough S.O.B. when I

want to be. And... I like pain more than begging 4 times a

month.<

I felt this way also, and toughed out at least eight or more acute

attacks, and never went to the ER. Being this tough hurt me in

the end, because I had no way to substanciate the increased

damage and resulting increase in pain. Because there was no

documentation of the attacks and the pain, my doctor didn't

believe me when I told him I needed higher pain medication.

Consequently, SSDI didn't believe me, either. You do yourself no

favors by " toughing it out " .

> I intend to tough it out until my diabetes gets tough to control,

my weight drops significantly, or my rest is so disrupted that I am

making myself worse.>

I toughed it out, then had significant weight loss, which ended up

being onset of diabetes. My doctor didn't believe that could be

happening so soon and wouldn't test me, then either failed to

believe me when I told him my symptoms (blurred vision,

excessive thirst, frequent urination) or was just guilty of medical

ignorance. It resulted into my going into diabetic ketoacidosis

shock, almost into a coma, and a physically precarious vacation

in Intensive Care. You don't want that to happen to you, Scot, it

was a horrible experience.

> Current medical thinking suggests if my pancreas dies off a

little more, I may experience less pain soon anyway.<<

My personal experience here again. My DKA resulted in

pancreas burn out, and then the development of type 1 brittle

diabetes. It's happened, but the cessation in pain doesn't

happen, as long as you have pseudocysts. I had a cessation in

pain for a few months, was off all the pain meds and able to eat

whatever I wanted, it was quite uplifting......until the pseudocysts

reared their ugly heads again. As long as there are still

pseudocysts in the pancreas, they cause continual debilitating

pain. That expected loss of pain doesn't happen. I've been in

more pain in the last three weeks than EVER before because of

these pseudocysts. The pancreas is non-functional, but the

pseudocysts aren't.

>But I have decided to tell any physicians in the future nothing

more than " I quit in 1994 " and no more. I am going to revise my

HIPPA paperwork at My primary physicians office, GI doctors

office, and at my favorite Hospital to reflect my desire to not have

my medical records given to any doctor without my consent. I am

starting to understand that any mention of " slips " has dire

consequences.<<

I can understand your reasoning behind this, Scot, and

understand why you would chose to do this. But please think

about my comments to your other statements. I would hate to

have you go through what I've been through and to have to suffer

through the damage that those choices could bring. Because

what happened to me very much by circumstances that almost

duplicate what you're saying you plan to do, I know what CAN

happen.

My life right now bears no resemblence to the life I had three

years ago, and I greatly miss the days that were. There is

nothing I can do about it now, but you can. You are too young

and have too many positive experiences ahead of you to

deliberately choose that road.

With hope and prayers,

Heidi

Heidi H. Griffeth

South Carolina

SC & SE Regional Rep.

PAI, Intl.

Note: All comments or advice are personal opinion only, and

should not be substituted for professional medical consultation.

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Scot,

I know there are serious life responsibilities and money is a big

factor but I have been through just barely being able to remain

employed whilst I was sick and in the end you have to realize living

is more valuable than dying to pay bills. The only chance you have

of earning money is healthy. So take care of yourself first and

foremost. Killing yourself to live just isn't worth it.

So, don't feel bad spending so much on health care, your life is

surely worth it.

Good luck and blessings,

Bert

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Thanks Deanna and Heidi.

I have made an appointment to return to my GI's

office. The earliest available appointment was Monday

afternoon the 24th. I am keeping a diary of my pain

for the 6 days I am without pain meds.

I have actually learned quite a bit about my pain so

far. The enzymes do not seem to be helping after

meals, but they may lesson the burning pain between

meals. After meals, there is no noticeable

difference. I believe I could do without pain meds in

the morning and after breakfast and lunch provided I

eat no fat and keep the meals VERY small. There is no

way I can even eat 1/4th of what I used to eat with

pain meds without having serious pain that would

definitely require meds. So I intend to tell him

that. By 4:00 each day the pain is pretty bad and

unbearable after I eat dinner. I would need two of

what he was giving me after dinner to avoid unbearable

high stomach pain and back pain every night. I also

wake up every night with severe back pain at 1:00 in

the morning. I wake up barely able to breath and I

spend from about 1:00 to about 3:00 or 4:00 in severe

back pain. I consider the emergency room every night

for at least an hour and a half. This will require

pain meds.

So I will ask him for 4 of what he was giving me per

day or 2 if he can up the dose. That would be 2 per

day/QTY 30 and that would last me 15 days. I will ask

for QTY 60 in that case to avoid undue co-pay charges.

This is going to be bottom line for me. I am not

going to accept less without changing doctors. I will

be honest and respectful.

I am now tempted to eat only a small breakfast and no

other meals until I see him. But I will continue to

eat 3 meals a day and try different foods to cover all

the bases.

This has been a horrible experience. I AM Suffering.

But now I have the conviction to do what I need to do.

It is going to be a Long Friday and a LOOOOOOONG

weekend.

Long story short – I have no regrets going through 30

pills in 8 days. That is just exactly what I require

– and funny thing… That is exactly the way I was

taking them.

Me and the GI are going to have to come to an

agreement. I have no choice.

Thanks to everyone for the support (you too Bert).

I have the knowledge and confidence to confront the

Doctor.

Scot

--- persiankat555 wrote:

> Dear Scot,

> I see so many emotions in your post. > SNIP <

> Compassionately,

> Deanna

>

>

> <hhessgriffeth@h...> wrote:

> > Dear Scot,

> >

> > There were several things you said in your post

> that really

> > disturbed me.

=====

I'm feeling old today, Sherman... Set the Wayback Machine.....

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Scot,

I am so sorry you are having so much pain and nausea/vomiting lately. I

hope you get some relief soon.

Kimber

--

Kimber

Vallejo, CA

hominid2@...

Note: All advice given is personal opinion, not equal to that of a licensed

physician or health care professional.

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