Guest guest Posted February 7, 2002 Report Share Posted February 7, 2002 > > > > > The 2001 Darwin Awards > > > > > > > > It's that time again! The awards this year are classic. These awards > are > > > > given each year to bestow upon (the remains of) that individual who, > > > through > > > > single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable > > > > elements from the human gene pool. > > > > > > > > > > > > 5th RUNNER-UP > > > > > > > > Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he hit a lift > tower > > > at > > > > the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam > > pad. > > > > The 22-year-old Hubal was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth > > > Hospital. > > > > The accident occurred about 3a.m.,the Mono County Sheriff's department > > > > said. Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called > > > Stump > > > > Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said > Lt. > > > Mike > > > > Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to > > > > protect skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently used the > pads > > to > > > > slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since > > been > > > > investigated and determined the tower he hit was the one with its pad > > > > removed. > > > > > > > > > > > > 4th RUNNER-UP > > > > > > > > Goes to Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. > > Louis > > > > market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a > > hot > > > > dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without paying. Police > > found > > > > him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics removed the > six-inch > > > > wiener from his throat where it had choked him to death. > > > > > > > > 3rd RUNNER-UP > > > > > > > > Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing > above > > > him > > > > on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell on him. > > > > > > > > 2nd RUNNER-UP > > > > > > > > " Man loses face at party. " A man at a West Virginia party (probably > > > related > > > > to the winner last year, a man in Arkansas who used the .22 bullet to > > > > replace the fuse in his pickup truck) popped a blasting cap into his > > > mouth > > > > and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, > and > > > > tongue. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a > prank > > > > during the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. " Another > man > > > had > > > > it in an aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying to explode it. " > > " It > > > > wouldn't go off and this guy said " I'll show you how to set it off'. " > > He > > > > put it into his mouth, bit down, and it blew all his teeth out and his > > > lips > > > > and tongue off, Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition > > > > Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson > at > > > > ton Area Medical Division. " I just can't imagine anyone doing > > > > something like that, " Payne said. > > > > > > > > 1st RUNNER-UP > > > > > > > > Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot > through > > > the > > > > skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released > soon > > > from > > > > the hospital. Tony , 25, lost his right eye last weekend during > > an > > > > initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous (probably > > > known > > > > now as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grant's Pass, Oregon. A > friend > > > > tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered 's > > > right > > > > eye. Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a > > > major > > > > blood vessel would have been cut and would have died > instantly. > > > > Neurosurgeon Doctor ny Delashaw at the University Hospital in > > Portland > > > > said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the tip > > > protruding > > > > at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood > > > > vessels. Delashaw also said that had tried to pull the arrow > out > > > on > > > > his own he surely would have killed himself. admitted > afterwards > > > > that he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon. Said > , > > " I > > > > feel so dumb about this. " No charges have been filed, but the > phine > > > > County district attorney's office said the initiation stunt is under > > > > investigation. > > > > > > > > NOW THIS YEAR'S WINNER. > > > > > > > > (The late) Pernicky and his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins, of > the > > > > great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert > > at > > > > the Washington amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having had > 18 > > > > beers between them), they thought it would be easy to " hop " over the > > nine > > > > foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pickup truck > over > > to > > > > the fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100-pounds > heavier > > > than > > > > Mr. Hawkins) to hop the fence and then assist his friend over. > > > > Unfortunately > > > > for Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side of the > > fence. > > > > Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. > > His > > > > fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm) by a large > > > branch > > > > that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with a broken > > > arm, > > > > he looked down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly figuring the > > > bushes > > > > would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to > cut > > > away > > > > his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally free, Mr. Pernicky > > > crashed > > > > into holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his ENTIRE body and > now, > > > > without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his > > > rectum. > > > > To make matters worse, on landing, his pocket knife penetrated his > > thigh. > > > > Mr. Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw > him > > a > > > > rope to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck and > > > slowly > > > > driving away. However, in his drunken haste/state, he put the truck > > into > > > > reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his friend and > killing > > > him. > > > > > > > > Police arrived to find the crashed pickup with its driver thrown 100 > > feet > > > > from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries. > > Upon > > > > moving the truck, they found under it, half-naked, scratches on > his > > > > body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his > shorts > > > > dangling from a tree branch 25 feet above him. > > > > > > > > Congratulations, gentlemen, you win.. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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