Something to think about

[Guest guest]

Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously - Save the whales. Collect the whole set. - A day without sunshine is like, night. - On the other hand, you have different fingers. - I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. - 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. - 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. - Honk if you love peace and quiet. - Remember, half the people you know are below average. - He who laughs last thinks slowest. - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. - Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. - Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week. - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. - Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade! - Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. - Always try to be modest, and be proud of it! - If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. - How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand... - OK, so what's the speed of dark? - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. - Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. - Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - What happens if you get scared half to death twice? - I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. - I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? - Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.