To Sandy in Ca

[Guest guest]

Hi Sandy, How are you, better I hope. I hope your mother is doing

better. I would like to add something to Heidi's message if you

will. She commented on your mom's alcohol consumption, and she is

100% right. Alcohol and drugs are a lethal conbo. I dont know if

you realize it or not; but when you shared your meds with your mom,

thats a federal offense. If anything, God forbid, had happend to

her from the effects of the alcohol and the meds you gave her you

would have been held liable. Ativan 2mg is a LARGE dose and I know

that we have built up a tolerance so we can give ourlselves larger

doses to cover our needs, but for someone who has not taken the drug

for a long period of time, 2mg is huge, then mixed with alcohol,

thats just frightening to me. You have received a lot of really

good info about the lymphedema, sometimes if pts where an arm thing,

I dont know wht it is called but it looks like a wetsuit but just on

the arm, it can help alot with the swelling and discomfort. Breast

Ca and all the treatments is a terrifying experience to endure.

Your mother is very fortunate to have such a caring daughter, but

she really needs to take a look at her alcohol use. I know that you

dont want to start trouble between ya'll two, and it might be

difficult; but you need to figure out some way to help her. She

will never be healty as long as the alcohol is ruling her life. I

know what your thinking, " I cant make my mom do anything " . We

cant " make " any body do any thing. All we can do is guide and

support. Good luck and I will continue to hope for only the best

for you and your family. If you ever want to talk, just drop me an

email anytime.

Warmly,

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you for replying. Yes, I know I did a " federal " no no by helping

my mom out with meds. I could see the pain on her face and I have been

there before and all I wanted to do was help her not be in so much pain.

She has been talked to regarding her drinking and taking meds. She

refuses to do anything about it. In a nutshell, I am the black sheep of

the family. I haven't talked to my mom since October when I told her

she should probably think about retiring because of the pain and amount

of meds she has to take. And also she told me that Atrophy was setting

in her arm that has lymphodema. When I told her I thought that the PT

wasn't doing all that should be done at the same time to prevent this

and when I told her to think about applying for SSI and SSA, she

abruptly hung up on me and called my sisters and her husband hysterical.

I then got a call from my oldest sister stating that I was only to

ask my mom how the weather was and nothing else. But that I HAD to call

her at least once a week. I was NOT allowed to talk about my life, my

illness, my son in anyway (her grandchild) my husband, their health, my

house???, or anything else going on in my life. This was the consenses

(SP) of my 2 sisters, my mom and her husband (NOT my father). So I

refused to call at all and only sent thinking of you cards once a week.

So the first contact I have had from my fmaily at all was when they

called me the day before Christmas and said they would like to come to

my house for Christmas dinner. A shock and something that has NEVER

happened before. I haven't even spent Christmas with my mom in 20 years!!!

SO I may have broken the law (and here it all is in black and white) but

all I was trying to to do was help my mom at a time when I actually

thought it would be appreciated and wanted. I learned my lesson and

this will not happen again. By the way, my mom has been in my neck of

the woods for 2 weeks and I have only had a 2 minute phone call from her

and a 2 hour visit on Christmas day and didn't even know she was here

for the first week and a half. I know that I am not as important to her

as any of my other brothers or sisters (not being a martyr just speaking

the truth), but I really only did just want to help her, and I guess at

the same time, feel love from her. So you can also see where nothing I

could say to her would make a difference in her life, as far as her

stopping drinking.

Thanks for the words. They have been heeded. I will not ever so this again.

Sandy in California

wrote:

> Hi Sandy, How are you, better I hope. I hope your mother is doing

> better. I would like to add something to Heidi's message if you

> will. She commented on your mom's alcohol consumption, and she is

> 100% right. Alcohol and drugs are a lethal conbo. I dont know if

> you realize it or not; but when you shared your meds with your mom,

> thats a federal offense. If anything, God forbid, had happend to

> her from the effects of the alcohol and the meds you gave her you

> would have been held liable. Ativan 2mg is a LARGE dose and I know

> that we have built up a tolerance so we can give ourlselves larger

> doses to cover our needs, but for someone who has not taken the drug

> for a long period of time, 2mg is huge, then mixed with alcohol,

> thats just frightening to me. You have received a lot of really

> good info about the lymphedema, sometimes if pts where an arm thing,

> I dont know wht it is called but it looks like a wetsuit but just on

> the arm, it can help alot with the swelling and discomfort. Breast

> Ca and all the treatments is a terrifying experience to endure.

> Your mother is very fortunate to have such a caring daughter, but

> she really needs to take a look at her alcohol use. I know that you

> dont want to start trouble between ya'll two, and it might be

> difficult; but you need to figure out some way to help her. She

> will never be healty as long as the alcohol is ruling her life. I

> know what your thinking, " I cant make my mom do anything " . We

> cant " make " any body do any thing. All we can do is guide and

> support. Good luck and I will continue to hope for only the best

> for you and your family. If you ever want to talk, just drop me an

> email anytime.

> Warmly,

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>