Guest guest Posted August 5, 2000 Report Share Posted August 5, 2000 Oh Holly, I am so sorry. The permanence of death is something that one can never get used to. A dear loved one dies, we grieve at the wake/funeral, etc, and then we are supposed to go on with our lives, when all the time we feel a huge void and wonder why or how life can just go blithely on. We try to take comfort in our memories, but often they just serve to accentuate the loss. Those of us believers are taught that we will see them in the afterlife, but that is still little comfort in the here and now. Then we are told that they are in a better place, which may be true but also offers little solace when we want them here with us. All you can do is feel your pain and try and get through each day until time does its merciful thing and helps you to heal. Talking and sharing is important, too. I still miss my MIL so much. She died 2-and-a-half years ago and I still think of her daily. I recently bought a commemorative brick in her honor on the local Riverwalk, and it gives all of us pleasure to walk down there and think of her. Pleasure mixed with a little pain--but slowly the healing is taking place that allows more pleasure in. One thing that has helped is remembering how fiercely she loved her family--especially her grandkids. I look at my children and see them through her eyes, or I remember some of the funny things she said and did throughout their lives. We now are able to talk about her with more smiles than tears, and it is so good to remember, and has also helped our girls to heal. They loved her so. Your friend died so young and you have lost so many others. You have a right to feel awful and I feel your pain, Holly. Your friend IS at peace, but it will take a while for you to be-- allow yourself the time to feel bad, sweetie, while counting your blessings. One of life's ironies, isn't it? Regards and hugs, Debbie in IL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2000 Report Share Posted August 5, 2000 Holly, My heart goes out to you. Kathie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2000 Report Share Posted August 5, 2000 Hi Holly, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. With cancer, she probably had some time to prepare. My Mother-in-law has had three months to live for the last year and a half! She has breast cancer that spread to her liver a couple of years ago. I have watched her go through so many stages of acceptance of her condition. She is now at the stage where she knows that the Dr.'s have nothing more to offer her, and she is ready to go Home when she is taken. I know the hardest part for her, and probably your friend, is worrying about the impact that their death will have on family and friends. The best thing that you can do for someone who is dying is let them know that you will be OK. I know that you will make it through the tough time you've been having over the deaths of your loved ones. If you need to talk, please email. Stormy > Hi guys...I know this is off the subject but as we all share so much in our > lives..I just wanted to share with you that I had a good friend die > yesterday. She was 46..she had brain cancer. This is now 8 people in 16 > months that were either family members or close friends that have passed > away. I don't know how I am supposed to keep handling one death after > another. I have been pretty upset about this since I found out yesterday > which is why I haven't posted to much. > Anyway...I just felt the need to share. > Love to all... > Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2000 Report Share Posted August 5, 2000 I'm really sorry Holly. I wish I was where you are so I could give you a hug! (((((HUG))))) Things will get better. Just remember your making new friends, and we love you too! You are in our prayers, Love, Rosemary Just wanted to share > Hi guys...I know this is off the subject but as we all share so much in our > lives..I just wanted to share with you that I had a good friend die > yesterday. She was 46..she had brain cancer. This is now 8 people in 16 > months that were either family members or close friends that have passed > away. I don't know how I am supposed to keep handling one death after > another. I have been pretty upset about this since I found out yesterday > which is why I haven't posted to much. > Anyway...I just felt the need to share. > Love to all... > Holly > > > > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at Onelist.com > Please visit our web site at http://clos.net > Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm > > To Unsubscribe Send and Email to: MiniGastricBypass-unsubscribe (AT) egroups (DOT) com > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 7, 2000 Report Share Posted August 7, 2000 Dear Holly, I just read your post and I want you to know that I am praying for you. I am so sorry to hear about all the deaths you have had to endure but you can handle it with the help of your friends in this group. We are here for you, please let us help. Love, Genz ( 817/ 577-0919 ) happygirl0925@... wrote: > Hi guys...I know this is off the subject but as we all share so much in our > lives..I just wanted to share with you that I had a good friend die > yesterday. She was 46..she had brain cancer. This is now 8 people in 16 > months that were either family members or close friends that have passed > away. I don't know how I am supposed to keep handling one death after > another. I have been pretty upset about this since I found out yesterday > which is why I haven't posted to much. > Anyway...I just felt the need to share. > Love to all... > Holly > > > > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at Onelist.com > Please visit our web site at http://clos.net > Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm > > To Unsubscribe Send and Email to: MiniGastricBypass-unsubscribe (AT) egroups (DOT) com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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