You know you are a redneck when.....

[Guest guest]

Here is a good one for you!

Glenda

You know you're a redneck when ....

You take your dog for a walk and you both use

the same tree.

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour

with a fly swatter.

Your property has been mistaken for a recycling

center.

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You burn your yard rather than mow it.

You think the Nutcracker is something you did off

the high dive.

The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

Your entire family sat around waiting for a call

from the governor to spare a loved one.

You offer to give someone the shirt off your back

and they don't want it.

You come back from the dump with more than you

took.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

Your grandmother has " Ammo " on her Christmas

list.

You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

You've bathed with flea and tick soap.

You've been involved in a custody fight over a

hunting dog.

Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.

You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

You have a rag for a gas cap.

Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.

You wonder how service stations keep their rest

rooms so clean.

You can spit without opening your mouth.

You consider your license plate personalized because

your father made it.

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to

fill your deer quota.

You have a complete set of salad bowls and they

all say Cool Whip on the side.

The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

You thought the Unibomber was a wrestler.

You've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.

Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop

always brings you home.

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000

worth of improvement.

You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

You missed 8th grade graduation because you had

jury duty.

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph

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