Fw: Marriage!!(joke)

[Guest guest]

> > Marriage (Part 1)> > Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the> > wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if> > I want and at what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you.> > I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I> > won't> > be home dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing> > when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time> > about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"> >> > His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that> > there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night . . . whether you're> > here or not."> > --------------------> > Marriage (Part II)> >> > Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding> > anniversary.> >> > The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that> > reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'"> >> > "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that> > reads, "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"> > --------------------> > Marriage (Part III)> >> > A husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast> > table.> >> > Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed> > either," and storms out of the house.> >> > After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and> > rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated> >> > husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"> >> > She says, "I was in bed."> >> > "In bed this late, doing what?"> >> > "Getting a second opinion!"> > --------------------> > Marriage (Part IV)> >> > A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so> > proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in> > spite of her objections.> >> > One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go> > home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.> >> > He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?'"> >> > His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right> > back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four>