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> > YOU KNOW YOU ARE GETTING OLDER WHEN . . .

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> > Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

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> > The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

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> > You feel like the night before and you haven't been anywhere.

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> > Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.

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> > A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.

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> > You get winded playing cards.

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> > Your children begin to look middle aged.

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> > You join a health club and you don't go.

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> > You know all the answers but nobody asks the questions.

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> > You look forward to a dull evening.

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> > You need glasses to find your glasses.

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> > You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.

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> > You sit in a rocking chair and you can't get it going.

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> > You sink your teeth in a steak and they stay there.

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> > Your back goes out more than you do.

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> > You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine

chest.

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> > Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.

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> > You go window shopping and you actually buy the window.

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> > You look for something well built and it has nice legs and it's

furniture.

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> > You talk louder because everyone else seems to be talking so quietly.

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