Fw: Ten rules of housekeeping :-)

[Guest guest]

> TEN RULES OF HOUSEKEEPING

>

> 1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious

> face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.

> 2. Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the

> area under the couch " The Galapagos Islands " and claim an ecological

> exemption.

> 3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter

> against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5

and

> leave it alone.

> 4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb,

> thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that

the

> light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, " What? And

> spoil the mood? "

> 5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread

> magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng

Shui

> aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes

when

> you say this.

> 6. Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by

claiming

> you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand sewn play animals for

> underprivileged children.

> 7. If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one

room

> and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle

> the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, " I'd love you to see our

> Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive. "

> 8. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the

> coffee table and insist that " THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter

> her ashes ... "

> 9. Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall

with

> an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say,

"

> ny did this when he was two ~ I haven't had the heart to clean it ...

"

> 10. Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of

> water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in

> conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the

> couch, and sigh, " I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere ...

"

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Gosh whoever did this one must have been to my house!LOL

Thanks

Glenda

____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here