Mid-Life Crisis

[Guest guest]

I just had to send this on to you all! I got a good laugh from it and so did Mike. Ignore the last part unless you really want to send it on. I just thought it was too funny to delete. This could apply to those of us that take pred too! )

Lots of love

Glenda

Subject: Mid-Life Crisis > > >I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about >how mid-life is a great time for women. >Just last week Oprah had a whole show on >how great menopause will be.... > > Puhleeeeeeeze! > >I've had a few thoughts of my own >and would like to share them with you. >Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 >(or maybe even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate. > >Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. >This gives us plenty of time >to care for our newly acquired mustache. > >In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, >we have wingspans. >We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, >we are flying squirrels in drag. > >Mid-life is when you can >stand naked in front of a mirror >and you can see your rear without turning around. > >Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram >and you realize that this is the only time >someone will ask you to appear topless. > >Mid-life is when you want to grab >every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, >"Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell >and those will too." > >Mid-life brings wisdom to know >that life throws us curves and >we're sitting on our biggest ones. > >Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, >beeper-wearing teenager and think: >"For this I have stretch marks?" > >In mid-life your memory starts to go. >In fact the only thing we can retain is water. > >Mid-life means that your Body By Jake >now includes Legs By Rand McNally -- >more red and blue lines >than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin. > >Mid-life means that you become more reflective... >You start pondering the "big" questions. >What is life? Why am I here? >How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat >before it's no longer a healthy choice? > >But mid-life also brings with it >an appreciation for what is important. > >We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, >but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. >Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now >for the body you had way back when? > >Maybe our bodies simply have to expand >to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. > > >That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it! > > > > >REMEMBER: "Stressed" spelled backward is "desserts." > >Send this to four women and you will lose two pounds. Send this to > >all the women you know (or ever knew), and you will lose 10 pounds. > >If you delete this message, you will gain 10 pounds immediately. > >(That's why I had to pass this on-I didn't want to risk it!