Laurie

[Guest guest]

Please Please dont do anything rash. I know exactly how you feel.

Abadoned by the only physician you feel can help you. You need to

get in touch with that gi doc and tell him how you feel. He must

have an email address if anything. Just getting it off your chest

will make you feel a lot better, not to mention letting him know

where you stand. There are always other physicians and not going

against where he stands is not what a second opinion is all about.

What area of the country do you live in? You need to talk with

someone about this depression. When I found out the

sphincteroplasty had not worked, I was deeply depressed, blamed my

self, felt that death was better then this life. I expressed my

depression on this site as a venue to vent. I received so many

words of encouragement, kindness and support that it allowed me to

accept the depression, let it run its course. There have been a

ton of studies done on the mourning process, when we loose a loved

one. The phases of mourning. There have also been studies about

the phychological phases one goes through when a loved one, or ones

self, is pronounced with a terminal illness. I think those phases

are not just phychologically evident when death is involved. I

believe being diagnosed with a chronic illness, such as ours, we go

throough much of the same mental processes. Only difference is that

we rotate through at a different rate. We get our hopes up, we try

this and that, one test, stents, surgery, docs, antioxidents,

diets. All in the hope for relief. Maybe it is the process of

mourning the loss of hope. If I recall, the processees are, denial,

anger, depression, and acceptance. I dont believe accpetance is

giving up, I believe it is working on another hope. Its ok to be

mad and depressed,I think its a natural progression. But you

definitely need to talk with that doc though. Dont do anything rash

and know that you have a huge family here who love, support and

understand exactly how you feel. Please feel free to email me

personnaly if you want to talk. cdrrn@...

With love