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These are so Punny!

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> Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.

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> A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

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> A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

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> My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.

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> Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

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> Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

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> I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.

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> A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

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> Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

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> I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

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> I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me

> the axe.

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> If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality

> comes from morons?

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> A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

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> Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

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> A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

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> Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

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> Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

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> Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

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> Banning the bra was a big flop.

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> Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

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> Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

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> A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

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> Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

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> A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

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> Without geometry, life is pointless.

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> When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.

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> Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

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> Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.

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> When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

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