Vicky

[Guest guest]

Vicky,

that is so sweet of you to say that my post was helpful. Please send it to the

world if you think it will help just one person understand that when you are

dealing with a chronic illness, often the simplest of things are just

impossible! It's never personal. I would love to be the person I was before

the pancreatitis hit me again in July 2002. That person was working full time,

traveling 50% of the time - gone two weeks, home two weeks, only weeks earlier

had spent our 12th anniversary in Cozumel, Mexico and got in 15 dives during the

week (anyone who dives will understand that you have to be in pretty good shape

physically because diving really wipes you out and the gear is heavy to lug

around!), enjoying life to the fullest! Both of our girls were (still are) away

at college and we were thoroughly looking forward to being empty nesters (the

bathroom stays spotless now) even though we so love our girls and enjoy spending

time with them. We were looking forward to finally having the money to buy a

larger house closer to work for me, having money for at least one major dive

trip a year and maybe two, building up our retirement savings, planning my

daughter's wedding, and just generally being rather carefree and enjoying life.

Then the pancreatitis returned with a vengance while I was on a business trip

about 500 miles from home. That was July 2002. I did not work a full week from

that time until the time that my disability retirement became effective in March

2003. During that time, I saved every ounce of my energy to try and work as

much as I could because it didn't take long to exhaust my leave. For the most

part, if I didn't work, I didn't get paid, and I was the primary breadwinner in

the family. I was incredibly blessed and my boss, a few co-workers, and my

amazing brother-in-law donated leave for me to use, but even that didn't go very

far. My friend couldn't understand why I didn't have the energy to go to dinner

or a movie when 'I hadn't even worked all week'. Maybe all that was wrong was

that I needed to get out of the house and that would make me feel better. Yes,

she has said that too many times for me to count. In fact, when I did go over

to her house this past Friday evening and just hung out and watched a movie, she

even said that 'see, getting out of the house probably made you feel better.

you just need to get out more often.' I just didn't bother responding. Well,

obviously I've gotten on my soapbox yet again! As you can tell, this is

obviously a point of contention with me! I say it no longer bothers me that

much when people say stuff like that but obviously it does, or I wouldn't feel

the need to re-hash it!

Anyway, feel free to send anything I write to anyone if you think it will help!

God bless you for being so devoted to your partner. I know my husband is a

saint and my illnesses are harder on him than they are on me because he feels so

helpless. This is funny and I have to share it. At the time that I ended up in

the hospital twice back to back for a total of 11 days the end of May/beginning

of June (on our 13th anniversary no less), I had eaten a small bowl of no sugar

added low fat ice cream several hours before my attack. What my hubby didn't

know is that I'd had a bowl almost every night for quite some time but he was

normally asleep when I had it. He was convinced that it was the ice cream that

had caused my attack. This was also the hospital visit that I was put under the

care of my current and wonderful GI/hepatolagist (i have liver disease, too) who

told me that I absolutely do have chronic pancreatitis. Instead of getting

aggravated at my husband, I gently explained to him that, no, it was not the ice

cream that had caused the attack. I'd had many bowls of ice cream with no

problems. The truth is that it is just not that simple. We don't really know

what 'causes' most of my attacks. I wish it be as simple as just eliminating

ice cream and I'd never have another attack. However, that is not the case.

There are things I know for sure will cause me problems - such as beef. However

most of the time, I can eat something with no problems one day and the very next

day water might set off an attack. Other days, an attack comes from nowhere

when I've had nothing to eat or drink for hours. I have found that going to

clear liquids for a day or so can SOMETIMES keep an attack from getting to the

ER stage. However, other times, there is nothing I can do. That's the

frustrating part of chronic pancreatitis or even recurring acute pancreatitis

(as they called mine for almost a year). You can be fine one minute and bent

double, puking your guts out the next. I've been asked so many times, " What did

you eat? Did you have a large meal with lots of fat? " Number one - I NEVER

have a large meal. I've had a gastric bypass (weight loss surgery because I was

100 lbs overweight at one time) so my stomach is very small and eating a large

meal is physically impossible. Number two, I didn't really like high fat food

even before the gastric bypass or even before the first panc attack in January

2000 - high fat meals just had not set well on my stomach for a long time (maybe

a clue that something wasn't right with my pancreas way before that first attack

in Jan 00.) Anyway, my hubby didn't mean to upset me (and he didn't) with the

ice cream comment. He so wanted it to be as simple as me just never eating ice

cream again and I'd never have another attack, never have to sit in the ER in

horrible pain for hours, never have to be in the hospital for days on end. That

is what all caregivers and those with the illness wish - if we just wouldn't do

this or eat that - the pancreatitis would just go away forever! If someone

finds what it is that I am to do or what I should never eat again and that is

the answer, please tell me. I do know that for me, beef is out, high fat is

certainly bad, alcohol is an absolute no (believe it or not- I rarely drank

alcohol even before the first panc attack - with both pancreatitis and liver

disease, you can be sure I'll never touch it). Eating small, low fat, healthy

meals are what's best for the pancreas. That's exactly what I do - on the days

that I can eat at all, that is!

My hand is tired so I'll quit. Hope this finds everyone doing well.

w