Re: Dianne - those who just don't get it! {{{KAREN W}}}

[Guest guest]

Kaern...thank you for taking the time to explain all of this ! You

have tremendous insight into the trials of living with multiple

chronic illnesses...most of them (if not all?) being totally

invisible !

How fortunate you are that you have good docs and great family...and

a REALISTIC outlook on this friend...she may not even realize how

she sounds...she may truly be puzzled...expecially if she is in

terrific health. Tell her to guard that health better than you

would a gold mine because you just NEVER know when a thief will come

in the middle of hte night and steal that good health ! It can

happen almost overnight....

My first pancreatitis attack (when viewed with 20-20 hindsight!)

came on gradually over a period of a year or so....but it all

" happened " one afternoon...we were all out at the park, having eaten

our picnic lunch I was sitting at the picnic table watching my

husband and daughter play frisbee and laughing at the dog trying to

get it when it would land out of reach of the humans.

My stomach was getting more and more bloated but I didn't pay a lot

of attention, figured it would " settle down " over time. We stayed a

few more hours, went home and my pains just kept getting worse...

When I started with pain in the left arm adn in the left choulder

blade (this by now is 7-8pm) I told Dave we should probably get to

the ER to rule out me having a heart attack! Additionally, I was

having some difficulty breathing because of the pain....

So... " it takes one to know one " ...when we talk about a chronic

illness especially ! I was just fine that morning...and less than

24 hours later I was admitted to the hospital with a life-

threatening illness that would stay with me the rest of my life...so

*I* certainly understand !

So here's an idea...you can show your friend MY story....and maybe a

few others with names removed to protect the innocent and just MAYBE

she might get a little closer to " getting " it !? Or have her sign

on here and just read the archives? There can't be THIS many of us

going through almost the same thing and not have it be the truth !

Does your friend have ANY illnesses? I have migraines, diabetes

type II, polycystic ovarian syndrome, infertility, osteoarthritis,

plantar fasciitis, fibromyalgia and the most serious of all of them:

pancreatitis. Can you TELL by looking at me that I have this much

going on? Absolutely NOT ! I look perfectly healthy...I could stand

to lose 30 pounds but even then most people would say " where " if I

said that...so I look pretty healthy...until you look at my *health*

record !

Oh and you might tell your friend that insurance companies and ER's

don't WANT to admit people...they are the gatekeepers to keep the

unwarranted OUT but if you are getting admitted then you must need

something ! And fluids by IV is totally different than fluids by

mouth since it gives the pancreas TOTAL rest...

Oh bah! anyway...it is soooo frustrating not to be believed !!! It

hurts my heart, my very core when someone questions my integrity, my

honesty and by making the comments your friend is making she is

implying without using the actual words that you are lying ! Have

you told her that? It might be the " wake-up " she needs !

Okay.,...I shall get off my soapbox now !

With love and support, Jeannine

> Diane,

> thankfully, my family is wonderful about understanding that I am

never 'all> better'. My mother goes to the opposite extreme trying

to keep me from> doing anything. I do have a friend that has hard

time 'getting it'. <snip> When I turn down an invitation to go out

to dinner,> often telling her that even thinking about food makes me

sick, she'll say,> 'well, you don't have to eat. you could just sit

there and visit with us> while we eat.' Do you know how much fun it

is to go to a restaurant when> you are in pain, exhausted, and

feeling like you may puke any minute? I'm> sure everyone in this

group understands it's not fun at all!