Hi Every one

[Guest guest]

Hi Every one

Been out of the picture these past few days. Have been very tired

and haven't had much time to do any posting.

First, I want to send my deepest sympathy to Amber and her family

for the loss of her mother. I never met her mother, but she must

have been a wonderful person. I know so much how difficult it is to

loose a mother and your post was so touching.

Next, I started the methotrxate last Friday and so far no side

affects, but it's still early. Did some reading on this medication

and wow...wonder how long I will have to take it. Anyone know?

I'm still having really bad hot flashes and lots of sweating too.

Can be 68 degrees in my house and I feel like I'm buring up. The

ringing or buzzing in my ears is loud and still there too.

Have a question out there. I have something that really bothers

me. It's my hands. They are so dry and they are cracking too.

Doesn't matter how much I put cream on them. I've gone as far as to

dip my entire hands into heavy hand cream and put glove on and sleep

with them on, but it doesn't seem to help. They look as though I

have been working on engines and the dryness is starting to hurt.

Do any of you have this problem?

Will be seeing my new primary doctor this coming Tuesday. Sure hope

I like her and she not like the one doctor I had who when I ask a

question would smile and just act like she didn't know what the heck

I was talking about. For the most part Dr. was okay, but

below my idea of a good doctor. Sure hope this one is better or

I'll be looking for another one.

Anyway am just about the same...hope this new medication works, but

since it is still early don't know. Just hate feeling like I'm

burning up all the time. It's even worse at work since the air

conditioner there doesn't cool down my office and the other gals

seem to be freezing their fannys off so they keep turning the temp

up so my office gets to about 80 degrees. I have two fans

going..one that blows out of the office..just trying to blow the

smoke from my boss who smokes like a train. It's really starting to

get to me, but cannot say anything to her or she'll jump my case.

She just cannot understand how I can be fine one day and then have

an illness that I could die from...this is just how stupid this

woman is. I tried to explain about the immune system..but she

doesn't get it. That day I had to go to the ER because my throat

was closing up and my ears too and I couldn't breath she cannot

understand how after being in the ER I was fine. Doesn't matter

that they had to put me on a breathing maching to clear up my

broncho tubes or put an IV in me forcing antibiotics into me or give

me another steriod shot for the inflamation of my throat...after

three hours I was 100 percent better. Go figure on that one.

Does anyone know exactly how I can explain all of this to her so she

will understand? I just get so frustrated..this is why I love

having you all here as support because you all understand.

I know I am not as bad as some of you all here...but I feel at last

I can stop pretending that there is nothing wrong with me now. When

I hurt I don't feel like I have to hide it again. Maybe with me not

hiding behind my hurt and illness is confussing to people, but I

sure would like to know what I can say or what I can give this woman

to make her understand what is going on with me.

Well, it's late and I'm loosing ground right now. Again thanks to

all of you.

Oh..in case you missed it I put some family picture up of me, my

husband (he's really not that unhappy..but he looks like that

in the pictures)and my pride and joy daughter Theresa...we call her

Tree for short. She just got over being sick by passing some kidney

stones. The kid wasn't going to tell me because she didn't want me

to worry, but one of her friends let the cat out of the bag. I told

her she didn't have to worry that I would be upset. Heck I've had

kidney stones twice..First time my left kidney shut down and they

had to do surgery to remove the stone so I know just how painful it

was for her. She a good actress, I had no idea the poor thing was

in that much pain. She all better now.

Hugs

Sharyn