Deanna

[Guest guest]

Hi Deanna. I was feeling a bit better, but not so sure anymore. I

wasn't feeling well last night or this morning and then my ex-husband

called and harrassed me, stressing me out and making me feel worse.

Jerk. My boyfriend is taking care of that though. He's going to call

him and tell him flat out to knock it off, that I don't need that, it

just makes me worse. Man, he's good to me.

Thank you so much for the support. Your strength and courage is

amazing. My boyfriend tells me that all the time about me and I say

he's silly, now I guess I know what he means. I just do what I have

to do. Like you I know my illness broke up my marriage. We had nine

years together, our divorce was final in December. I'm glad it did

though, cause if it hadn't, I wouldn't have the wonderful man that I

have now. He's not perfect mind you, which I'm thankful for too,

cause the only perfect people are in heaven and I'm not ready for him

to be there yet. He has his moments where it gets to him. But he is

the most caring, supporting, and loving man I have ever met. He is

always there for me. Our son and I are his number one priority. I

have never had that before, it's a wonderful feeling. It's been

pretty rough the last month. Every few months or so I lose an entire

month, sometimes longer becuase of this stupid illness. I know it's

silly, I just keep hoping for a miracle. For a while I was wishing

that God would just take me. I couldn't see any reason for me to

conitue suffering and causing so much pain and suffering for my son

and boyfriend and friends and family. Then one night I had a dream. I

got my wish. But the pain and suffering from that was much worse than

having to deal with my illness. I was there, but they couldn't see

me. I couldn't make them feel better, tell them I was okay. It was

definitely an eye opening dream. I have a different look on life now.

I love my man and my son deeply. I just want them to be happy. I know

now, illness or not, that takes me being here with them. Okay, I have

rambled on long enough. So sorry. The jist, is I will never give up

hope. My family depends on me too much for that. Thank you so much

for your help. I hope things get better for you soon.

Take care.

Hugs,

Rhonda