:(

August 22, 2000

In a message dated 8/22/00 6:36:11 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

taniaday2@... writes:

<< Ok you guys....

I am totally devastated and crying my eyes out. This started

yesterday. My dad is totally against me having surgery now. Back in

July when I got another denial letter from my insurance and was

crying my dad, who was here visiting here with my mom, said that him

and my mother would lend me the money for it if need be but to keep

fighting my insurance. Now, even though my mom is still for me (she

goes both ways but supports me cause she knows it will make me happy)

and is still willing to lend me the money, my dad is telling me I am

not doing the right thing, I should wait another year (he thinks I

will change my mind) he doesn't think I try hard enough with

dieting. I have been dieting since I was 12. If I could have lost

weight this way and kept it off, doesn't he realize I would have done

it a long time ago and this wouldn't be an issue? He is still

willing to go to NC and be there for me cause he loves me but he is

making this so difficult because he is actually get mad at me. I was

telling him, I have been dieting and excersing since almost all my

life and that he doesn't see my struggle with this and he hung up on

me. I am crying right now so if I am not making sense please forgive

me. I just hate this.

Tania

>>

Hi Tania,

Okay, girl, pull yourself together! Your dad is freaking out because he

loves you and he is scared. As his opinion obviously matters to you, you

will have to be the one to help him see that this IS the best answer for you.

My husband started out like your dad but now he is 100% behind the MGB.

Here is what I did to soften his heart. I gave him a packet of info to read

when he was on a business trip, including a letter from me describing how

miserable I was and why. Next were 45 emails I received from contacts on the

list. These very personal testimonials to the MGB were powerful evidence.

People spoke of their lives before, their struggles all their lives, and the

miracle of the MGB. When my hubby got home, we sat down for a few hours and

went through the Patient Manual. Next he started visiting the website. And,

of course, going to clinic the day before Chris' surgery really helped him,

too. It is a process.

Education is power. Your dad has probably heard of the other WLS's--the

risks, problems, etc. You can show him, in a calm and thoughtful manner,

that the MGB will change your life. For my husband, a big plus was the fact

that it is 100% reversible.

When I asked him (after and I had returned from Durham) what did the

most to help him understand, he said it was the 45 letters. All written by

patients who have had the surgery! What a powerful group we are!

I wish you all the best, sweetie!

Regards,

Debbie in IL

MGB 8/10 Cigna approved as " in network "

August 22, 2000

Tania, I am sorry for u if i could I would give u a big hug but all I can do

is send u thishug ((((((Tania)))))). Do they have a computer? Maybe you can

show them the mgb site and let them research it and see if that helps. I hope

things look better soon. love and hugs marg

August 22, 2000

Ok you guys....