LISA

[Guest guest]

Hi :

I have been reading your last posts, and really understanding where you are

coming from. I remember when I got laid off from a job, I was just devastated.

My whole being was tied up in that job. It was time for me to take a look at

that. I am not my job. I also am not who I am by how much I make, or what I

have. It was time for me to give myself a break, and believe that God loves me

just as I am. He loves us all the same, whether I'm a successful lawyer, a

clerk in a paint store, or a mother working in the home. I needed to understand

for me, that my biggest enemy is how I see myself. Recently I have realized

that I seem to always perceive that people are out to " get " me. I just mean I

always, and no exaggeration there, I always think that people think the worst of

me. I know that this is from being brought up by an overly critical,

perfectionist mother. I'm not blaming her exactly, but I know growing up I

never felt that I was good enough for her. Nothing I did pleased her, and so

when I did screw up along the way, it was like I really was a bad person. It's

a little complicated, but I had to realize that there was going to be nothing in

the world I could do to please her, so I might as well stop trying, and be happy

with who I was. Because she was never going to be. I am so glad that I

realized and accepted this fact before she died, so I could forgive her and

enjoy the time that we had left together. And today, I try really hard to

realize that my job is just a job. Especially being sick, it has made it hard

because I'm not participating in all the " popular " and sought after projects.

The ones where you get some of the glory. I'm just doing alot of data entry type

stuff, and I'm probably demeaning my worthiness still, but I'm just trying to

say that whatever it is I'm doing, I just try to do it with enthusiasm and

happiness just as if it were the most important job in the company. And you

know what, I know for sure that the company will prosper whether I'm here or

not. And you know what else? I will prosper whether I have an actual paying

job, or if I'm not able and I have to make the most of staying home, and making

a nice house for my husband and puppy. They don't love me for my job, they love

me for me. And I don't even have to do anything to deserve their love. After

40 years of believing that I needed to earn their love, that is a huge deal for

me.

So, I hope that something I've said might help you believe that you are not your

job. You are a wonderful person doing nothing! On the other hand I know what

you mean about keeping busy. My head and the committee that lives up there can

be my worst enemy. So I need to keep busy. There are plenty of hobbies or even

just reading that keeps my head quiet. I know everything will work out for you,

doesn't it always?

KEEP THE FAITH, HUGS...

Robin

--------------------------------------------------------

This e-mail and any files transmitted with it are confidential and intended

solely for the use of the

individual or entity to whom they are addressed.

If you have received this e-mail in error please notify the system manager:

postmaster@...

This e-mail and its attachments have been scanned for the presence of computer

viruses, however

it is always advisable to run a virus check on e-mails and attachments before

opening them.

--------------------------------------------------------