Fw: FW: FW: Kids Say the Darndest Things.

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> > > > > Kids Say the Damnedest Things

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Ever notice how a 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adult

> > > > > >voices?

> > > > > >Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm

> hit

> > > > > >with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my

> bedroom

> > > > > >about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, Karey,

> > > > > >apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep

in

> > >the

> > > > > >guest bedroom that night.

> > > > > > The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that it

was

> > > > > >O.K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was

> > >expected

> > > > > >home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK.

> > > > > > After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children

> > > > > >picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the

plane

> > >was

> > >

> > > > > >late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane's

> > > > > >arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their

> > >arriving

> > > > > >passengers. As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and

came

> > > > > >running shouting, " Hi, Dad! I've got some good news! "

> > > > > > As I waved back, I said loudly, " What's the good news? "

> > > > > > " Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time! "

> > >shouted.

> > > > > >The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area

> looked

> > >at

> > > > > >, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area

to

> > >see

> > > > > >if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was.

> > > > > >--------------------------------------------

> > > > > >An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about

> her

> > > > > >then

> > > > > >4 yr. old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left

> her

> > > > > >stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and

> > >began

> > >

> > > > > >playing wit it. 'Be still, my heart,' thought my friend, 'my

> daughter

> > > > > >wants to follow in my footsteps!' Then the child spoke into the

> > > > > >instrument: " Welcome to Mc's. May I take your order? "

> > > > > >--------------------------------------------

> > > > > >A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, " I'm Mr.

> > > > > >Sugarbrown's daughter. " Her mother told her this was wrong, she

> must

> > > > > >say, " I'm Jane Sugarbrown. "

> > > > > >The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, " Aren't you

Mr.

> > > > > >Sugarbrown's daughter? "

> > > > > >She replied, " I thought I was, but mother says I'm not. "

> > > > > >--------------------------------------------

> > > > > >A little girl asked her mother, " Can I go outside and play with

the

> > > > > >boys? " Her mother replied, " No, you can't play with the boys,

> they're

> > > > > >too rough. " The little girl thought about it for a few moments

and

> > > > > >asked, " If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him? "

> > > > > >--------------------------------------------

> > > > > >A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were

on

> > >the

> > > > > >way to church service, " And why is it necessary to be quiet in

> > >church? "

> > >

> > > > > >One bright little girl replied, " Because people are sleeping. "

> > > > > >--------------------------------------------

> > > > > >At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl came up to the

> > >altar

> > > > > >wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were sitting down

around

> > >the

> > >

> > > > > >pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl, " That is a very

pretty

> > > > > >dress. Is it your Easter dress? "

> > > > > >The girl replied almost directly into the pastor's clip-on mike,

> > > " Yes,

> > > > > >and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron. "

> > > > > >---------------------------------------------

> > > > > >I saved the best for last:

> > > > > >

> > > > > >A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands

> > >next

> > > > > >to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a

> snack

> > > > > >cake. The barber says to her, " Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair

on

> > >your

> > > > > >Twinkie. " She says, " Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too. "

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Dr. J.

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > >

> > > _____

> > >

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> > >

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> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

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