Sick of fighting the pain and no true diagnosis for sure

[Guest guest]

Well

3 yrs ago they gave up washed there hands of every doc in this

country and said wells thats it you will have to sit here at 35 and

never work again

Hell knows they severed nerves did blocks did ct scans MRCPs,

feeding tubes u name it

Upshot 3 yrs ago I was in tears cosntantly slept 18hours a day in

constant un relenting pain and unable to work, lonely isolated etc

The hard thing with this darn stuff is CP is that even partners

dotmn understand fully, it so isoalting, lonely and scarey for them.

All they can think of is fightit

Its a constant daily batttle, as I take pills to wake up, pills for

pain, pills to sleep pills to eat, pills to stop the constant

worrying that I had that I couldnt fight what wasnt diagnosed. I

mean how does one attack or treat something if they are in limbo

land? I cant do much as too much movement causes more pain eating

more, and sitting is the same

Some would say PSychoolgists were a good one, its in ya head, what

does it matter. To which I woudl repsond yeh right, if you were me

woudl you want to know. that shut them up

I used to say I wanted my life back . I seem to have somehow

accepted that a lil more that it will never be the same after what

was a 3 day surgery for a gall bladder recovery has turned into my

worst nightmare

This disease or whatever it is makes me grumpy, tired, I am

optimistc or was the eternal optimist but this makes me despair. I

try not to let people see me liek This and I cant even share this

with my best friends as they say snap out of it.

Wish I could

I cant not work there is no benefit here for me.They wont admit they

made a screw up with the multiple surgeries although I knwo I came

out screaming from sphincterotomies which were follow ups.

I dont even feel that I can just feel for myself anymore or let

others see me like this. They say look snap out of it,thats not

you . you never give up!

Everyday I make sales calls to people who have no idea I dont look

liek I have a physical limitation and I dont share it as it could be

turned against you and its not good to let anyone know what drugs

you are on.

everyday i wonder if I am going to make it through the day. Pain is

always worse at night.

I never know if I can keep working or what?

Antox at least got me off the floor and able to will myself to work.

without it I am stuffed

The only way I could afford it was to work, and if I dont take it I

cant work.

Does anyone else feel this way experience the same stuff or am I

losing the plot

Debs