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Fw: Saturday funnies

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>

>

> > The pirate joke is a good one.....

> >

> >

> > > A man meets a pirate in a bar. The pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and

an

> > eye

> > > patch.

> > >

> > > " How did you get the peg-leg? " the man asks.

> > >

> > > " We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of

> > > sharks. A shark bit my leg off, " replies the pirate.

> > >

> > > " Wow! What about your hook? " the man asks.

> > >

> > > " We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors

with

> > > swords. One of them cut off my hand, " replies the pirate.

> > >

> > > " Incredible! What happened to your eye? " asks the man.

> > >

> > > " A seagull crapped in it, " replies the pirate.

> > >

> > > " You lost your eye because a seagull crapped in it? " the man asks,

> > > incredulously.

> > >

> > > The pirate shrugged. " Yeah, it was my first day with the hook. "

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Things to ponder:

> > >

> > > Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

> > > Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

> > > Why don't you ever see the headline " Psychic Wins Lottery " ?

> > > Why is " abbreviated " such a long word?

> > > Why is it that doctors call what they do " practice " ?

> > > Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on " Start " ?

> > > Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing

liquid

> > > made with real lemons?

> > > Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

> > > Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

> > > Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

> > > When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

> > > Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

> > > Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

> > > You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?

> > > Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

> > > Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?

> > > Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

> > > Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

> > > If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

> > > If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

> > >

> > >

> >

>

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