Re: help, need answers

[Guest guest]

I've also had a negative experience with my ortho. I initially went to see

him about bringing in an impacted tooth. He did x-rays and molds and found

that I my lower jaw is too short and recommended (strongly) that I need

surgery.

He told me that I was deformed and went over a bunch of " problems " with my

appearance and said that " he could help. " I had always been happy with my

appearance and was only their about 1 tooth. While my teeth weren't perfect,

I always felt ok about them. I left his office feeling really upset and

self-conscious.

I spoke to a surgeon what he recommended that was better -- he told me that

I was pretty and didn't make me feel so bad, but explained that the wear and

tear on my jaw and made surgery a medical necessity.

I decided to go ahead with everything based on what the surgeon said, but

have had a lot of trouble with self-esteem ever since this started. I've

been sensitive about the " problems " with my face. Then the braces went on,

which I feel self-conscious about. And now that he's widened my bite, I've

developed a much bigger overbite than I ever had and my chin seems to be

much less prominent.

I've been pretty depressed about the whole process so far and am just trying

to hang in there until I'm finally ready for the surgery and can put this

behind me. I just wish that my ortho had not been so negative and made me

feel so bad to begin with -- having braces at 30 is hard enough, plus all

the other changes that are occurring with my face.

I've also been misled about the timeline for everything. I was initially

told that I would be out of braces in 18-24 months. So far it's been 16

months and they're telling me it will be another 9 until surgery. They

initally said 6 months in braces after surgery; who know what it'll end up

being?

I also have some questions about insurance. I've stayed in a job I am really

unhappy in for 2 years because they approved the surgery and my ortho said

that I can't switch b/c if I run into problems with insurance with my new

job, it'll push the timeline back further. I've had to explain to him

numerous times about how I'm not advancing where I am, 12-hour days aren't

cool with me, etc. and he finally says that I can look for another job.

Is there a possibility of a different insurance co. not covering this

because it's a preexisitng condition? Are their insurance policies that I

could take up on my own if my new company's insurance won't cover it? I

wish that I'd known about other insurance options sooner, wouldn't have

turned offers down to be stuck in this job.

So, anyway, I just feel really ugly physically and stuck professionally. And

it's hard to see all my friends getting married and having babies when I

feel so bad and can't even think about getting married in braces. So my

boyfriend and are talking about just living together, but that's not the

same.

Sorry for the long post. Feeling pretty bitter about the whole process....

>From: ceast36532 <no_reply >

>Reply-To: orthognathicsurgerysupport

>To: orthognathicsurgerysupport

>Subject: [Orthognathic Surgery Support ] Re: help, need answers

>Date: Tue, 04 Jan 2005 22:41:48 -0000

>

>

>I think your ortho is very much out of line -- particularly with

>remarks that you look ugly, and by even discussing religion with

>you. You're going to him for professional dental help, not for

>counseling, nor as a cosmetician, nor as a priest -- at least that's

>the way I see it. I can't believe that you look ugly, either; if

>your appearance isn't what you want it to be, hey! That's part of

>what he's being paid to fix. Matter of fact, he sounds pretty weird

>to me, unless you've given him some reason to think you're " spoiled. "

>

>I have also never known an ortho who suggested that his work

>was " for looks. " There are usually some excellent dental reasons for

>getting things (including your bite) into better alignment.

>

>Not unusual not to have an accurate long-term plan about the

>surgeon. I knew about a month before surgery that it was to be soon,

>and my ortho told me to call the surgeon.

>

>Is there another ortho in the practice? And can you tell your

>surgeon what you've told us, and ask for an opinion about all this

>from him/her?

>

>There are some loony folks in all fields of endeavor, and it sounds

>to me as though you've had the misfortune to encounter one, unless

>there's something you haven't told us.

>

>Cammie

>

>

> >

> > I've got a bunch of concerns. I couldn't possibly list them all,

>but

> > there are a few that are weighing heavily on my mind right now in

> > particular. Any responses would be very appreciated.

> > First, I'm curious to know how long before surgery people knew the

> > date it would be scheduled? I've been told mine will be in

>summer,

> > but no one has told me a date or given me a guess. Should I know

>now,

> > or is it normal not to? I feel like the whole thing is

>uncoordinated,

> > like my os and orthodontist aren't really communicating. I had to

>ask

> > my orthodontist at an appointment if it was time to meet with my os

> > again (I had only had an initial consultation), he said yes and I

>then

> > set up an appointment, is this normal? I'm more than a little

> > concerned with the behavior of my orthodontist. He seems very

>passive

> > agressive. At my last appointment he made several comments that I

> > absoltely could not believe. He insulted my intelligence, morals,

>and

> > looks by making comments about me dropping out of school (after

>asking

> > about how I was doing in college he asked if my motives were to

>drop

> > out when I had said nothing that would lead him to such a

>statement),

> > frowning about the answer I gave when he asked me which church I

>went

> > to, and saying several times that " we're doing this for her

>looks " .

> > He also made a comment to the effect that I'm spoiled. I couldn't

> > believe it. When I came home from my appointment I repeated the

>whole

> > thing to my mom and brother (separately) and they were both

>equally as

> > floored. I guess it seems obvious that I should just find another

> > orthodontist, but it's not so easy. The orthodontic practice I go

>to

> > is supposedly the best in the area, and I don't know what else I

>could

> > do. My orthodontist is taking advantage of the fact that I'm not

>in a

> > position to say anything to him (it's so far along and I'm pretty

>much

> > stuck).

> > Furthermore, I'm curious as to whether anyone on here has been

>made to

> > feel like they are ugly. Everybody involved has made some hurtful

> > comment about one thing or another. I know some people are just

> > careless with their words, but in this profession you would think

> > these people would be slightly more aware of what they say. I

>have an

> > open bite and when talking about it, everyone has also mentioned my

> > lower jaw (that it was an indication or would need to be moved,

>etc).

> > My os said he didn't think I'd need surgery on my lower jaw, but

> > didn't rule it out. When my orthodontist asked about the surgery

> > (what the os said). I told him that I probably wouldn't be having

> > surgery on the lower and he acted disgusted, like the thought of me

> > looking as I do was offensive to him. It's so hurtful to hear

>these

> > comments. It's not just him though, all the people involved seem

>to

> > have said something offensive. I guess I'm mostly just venting,

>but

> > I'd like to know if anyone has had a similar experience with the

> > people involved... I've got a lot more that I'd like to ask and

>type,

> > but because this post is so long I guess I'd just like to ask

>anyone

> > who's willing to give a description of their surgery and anything

> > related to it, be it the process leading up to it, the after

>effects,

> > whatever. Thanks so much--Lara

>

>

>