Y'all are probably tired of this by now..........

June 26, 2003

I know it's selfish to complain about how all the bad news affects ME, but I

just can't seem to crawl out from under the burden just now. Mom's doc called

yesterday from the nursing home and said her latest chest x-ray would seem to

indicate she probably has lung cancer--at least there seems to be a " shadow "

or " mass " or some kind of tumor/growth on the upper right lobe. Only way to

know for sure is wait a month, and re-xray, see if it's grown or what. Waiting

seems really hard.

Due to her age, she's not really eligible for surgery, or any other kind of

treatment, for that matter. I also took the opportunity to ask the doc if she

holds out any hope that Mom might at least at some point be able to transfer

from bed to wheelchair to toilet on her own (walking ever again has already been

ruled out from just about day one after she broke her hip). Doc said she

hates to be negative, but she really doesn't ever see that as being possible.

Haven't told Mom either of these developments.

Meantime, DH (Wase) has appts next week with 2 oncologists: one from

Northwest Community Hosp/ ian Bros Med Ctr; one from Univ of Chicago Hosp.

Expecting to start chemo within a week or so after that. So far, he does very

little

and while he gives lip service to " beating it, " his inaction belies what he's

saying; I think he's scared and depressed. Leila has done some additional

research and come up with far different (much less optimistic) prognosis figures

on colon cancer than what the first oncologist told us. Have not conveyed this

to W, of course. It's hard to know just WHAT to believe. I keep holding onto

the belief that whatever is in store for any of us is just pre-determined and I

will just keep putting one foot in front of the other and doing what needs to

be done, and God will take care of the rest.

Those of you who are praying people can say a prayer for ME, selfish as that

request may seem. It's hard to be strong in the face of so much adversity. It

could be worse, of course. I know that. Just need a little support to keep on

track.

Carol A

Recommended Posts