Re: Staying neutral in a group setting

[Guest guest]

Hi Shauna, it's good to see you post again.

Like you, I can find myself in tears at the drop of a hat, or worse-- blowing up at someone because I don't let my emotions loose.

I was raised with the idea that if I cried, I had to go to my room, until I could get myself "under control." And yes, it was considered "weakness" to cry-- so I had to learn- through several years of therapy to allow myself to cry.

I know I'm a "strong" personality, and that sometimes pushes people away-- but it's not meant to hurt or insult anyone, my comments are to help sort out the situation, and to bring a new outlook to a problem.

The challenge is that all the years of dealing with employees in medical offices (and women are the worst) that when one group (clic) started into pissy mode, I had to stop it before it became an "elephant in the room."

Sometimes -- when we find ourselves "raging into the night" we can end up creating an emotional cancer that can be more destructive to all those around us. As a moderator of the group, we can easily end up being referee's-- and that is a hard place to be.

With over 550 people in the group now-- it's more important than ever to be cogniscent and try to stay as neutral as possible, without offending one sector or another. This is a big part of the reason that we ask for compassionate understanding and the reason that we don't go into heavy religious activity or discuss politics within the group. It starts way to many fires-- and while one group loves to discuss how their faith upholds them, another sector may be just as faithful- but angry with their "higher power" and not want to go there, and get pushed out of shape by those that insist on sharing the faith.

I wish I had answers for all of us- on how to deal with these issues-- and understand that flip side of the coin-- so that no one feels they can't post because they'll get everyone telling them to be "faithful." Even if that isn't what people are saying-- ( and I know it's not) it's the implied idea of another kind of judgement. Much like those who are up against people who look at us and say "you look great...."

Does anyone else understand what I'm saying-- I don't know if this is clear-- my brain is still in jumble mode from the Remicade-- so give me your feedback so that I can help with these issues.

I don't want to shut down the conversations, not at all-- I just don't have it in me to put out the fires when they start-- so what we will do is try to get a chatroom set back up ASAP where we can go and discuss both our faith and or use another room to discuss the issues of the disease with live chats!

It will happen, you all know that is what we Pray, (wish, envision) you choose the verb-- for.

And for all of you offering your prayers and support-- thank you so very much. The Universe is wonderful and all of us need the positive energy that we share.

Much love to all,

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

To: Neurosarcoidosis Sent: Friday, December 19, 2008 5:05:59 PMSubject: Re:Emotions

Hi Ron and group,

I used to write in journals quite a bit when I first was diagnosed with NS. I sometimes felt that people just wouldn't understand and didn't want to burden other people with my problems of how I was feeling all the time. For me, my journals where some place I could express all my feelings and nobody would judge me. I could just say exactly what I was feeling good or bad. I always was a journaler though. It does help to get your feelings out and I felt a little better afterwards. So I still journal from time to time when I just want to release some thoughts. People don't always understand what you are going through. So many times I keep things in. Then when I finally let them know what I am thinking everyone seems so surprised.

With the meds, I found myself very emotional, blowing people out one minute and crying the next. I find that I cry much more and sometime I hate that I cry so easily. Everyone thinks you are weak when you cry. But sometimes you just get overwhelmed. I can sympathize with people much more now.

I know I was chosen for some reason and feel that my life is challenged with the condition but on the days I am feeling pretty good I can enjoy things I didn't even used to hardly notice. The pretty sunsets, the cardinals flying around the park, the beautiful leaves in the fall on the trees, and most of all I get to spend time with my family, niece and nephew that were born last year and one this year. I get to go home in the summer time and spend time with my mom and granddad who is ailing from cancer. But I find that I have much more time than I used to when I worked all the time. I have a lot less income but I feel somewhat happier being able to do most of the things I want still.

I have really been blessed through it all. When I am feeling pretty good I guess it is worth it all. So if I become really emotional i realize it is the meds or how I am feeling and it will pass sooner or later.

Let me stop babbling!

Shauna in Atl.

[Guest guest]

Good writes however you ended a sentence with a preposition. *wink* That is called constructive criticism. I too cry easily. I guess it is from trying to please everyone. I had to learn not to do than anymore. Guess what, it didn't work to well. My humor closes a door to a lot of those who do not understand. It becomes a bit warped at time. I am one of those people who can look you in the eye after you told a rib rocking joke and not laugh. It makes people feel self conscious. But if you all knew my dad you would understand.

You keep up the good work, I think, no I know you are doing a great job.

"if you don't laugh then why do we have jokes?"

Jackie

Re:Emotions

Hi Ron and group,

I used to write in journals quite a bit when I first was diagnosed with NS. I sometimes felt that people just wouldn't understand and didn't want to burden other people with my problems of how I was feeling all the time. For me, my journals where some place I could express all my feelings and nobody would judge me. I could just say exactly what I was feeling good or bad. I always was a journaler though. It does help to get your feelings out and I felt a little better afterwards. So I still journal from time to time when I just want to release some thoughts. People don't always understand what you are going through. So many times I keep things in. Then when I finally let them know what I am thinking everyone seems so surprised.

With the meds, I found myself very emotional, blowing people out one minute and crying the next. I find that I cry much more and sometime I hate that I cry so easily. Everyone thinks you are weak when you cry. But sometimes you just get overwhelmed. I can sympathize with people much more now.

I know I was chosen for some reason and feel that my life is challenged with the condition but on the days I am feeling pretty good I can enjoy things I didn't even used to hardly notice. The pretty sunsets, the cardinals flying around the park, the beautiful leaves in the fall on the trees, and most of all I get to spend time with my family, niece and nephew that were born last year and one this year. I get to go home in the summer time and spend time with my mom and granddad who is ailing from cancer. But I find that I have much more time than I used to when I worked all the time. I have a lot less income but I feel somewhat happier being able to do most of the things I want still.

I have really been blessed through it all. When I am feeling pretty good I guess it is worth it all. So if I become really emotional i realize it is the meds or how I am feeling and it will pass sooner or later.

Let me stop babbling!

Shauna in Atl.