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Ronit, I am not sure there is anything you can do other then have healthy

food at home and fix healthy meals for the entire family. I know how

angry I would got when people would criticize my eating habits

pre-surgery. Your husband is no different. I suspect my sister has

gained about 50 lbs since my surgery. There really isn't much I can do

to get her to loose weight. The best I can do is eat healthy around her

and continue loosing weight (albeit slowly right now.) I have noticed

that she is very aware of how many carbs she is eating around me. And

she eats a lot less around me because I eat a lot less. On the other

hand, she literally stuffs herself around our mother no matter how much

my Mom ask her about her diet. Don't figure.

Lori Owen - Denton, Texas

SRVG 7/16/01

Dr. Ritter/Dr. Bryce

479/335/???

On Sat, 26 Jul 2003 12:18:51 EDT Patientadv@... writes:

> Hello to all. I have a dilema and need some feed back. Have any of

> you

> experienced a significant other meaning husband, wife, girl friend,

> boyfriend ect

> gaining alot of weight after your surgery?

> I am concerned for my husband as he has really shot up and I don't

> know if

> there is anything I can do. he already complains(mildly) about his

> back, legs

> hurting sometimes hard to breathe. he has beginning signs of asthma

> and has had

> high B/P long before putting on wieght as this runs on his fathers

> side of the

> family.

> Watching this tears me to pieces and we do talk and try to catch

> myself when

> i become nagging as I know this is the worst thing you can do to

> someone who

> is overwieght. I am really scared that I will be a widow before the

> age of

> 40(1.5 years away)

> Any suggestions, anything I can do? I need help

>

> Oh one more important thing we are in marital counseling and address

> this

> everytime we go and I recently started WW and try and get him to do

> the point

> system along with me and he seems to like it but still makes

> horrible food

> choices,

> Again any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

>

>

>

> Always be Optimistic as a good Positive Attitude takes us a long way

> and

> remember our new motto " a little bit of something is better than a

> whole lot of

> nothing " .

> Please feel free to Email me or call me as I am always here for you

> and you

> have been for me.

>

> Ronit ( Row-Neet) Kalmanor

> Dr.Andrei SPMC New Brunswick,NJ

> 11/10/00-LAP RNY

> (H)

> (Cell)

>

>

>

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Guest guest

Yes, my husband has gained weight. He is not that chubbed out at

6'2 and 225 but he has grown into a size 38 sometimes 40 from a 36

since my surgery.

He eats my leftovers and has been hitting the carbs hard including

lots of pasta and rice.

It is VERY hard for me to watch and even harder to control my desire

to speak up each time like some sort of " carb warden " . I am often

successful at keeping quiet, but sometimes I just lose it and yes it

is out of concern. However...I have to remember and be grateful

that he never ragged on me about my weight and to this day tells

everyone how much he loves me no matter my weight.

I have tried to do my part by ordering smaller portions or

appetizers for meals so I am not taking tons of food home. I keep

almost no carb snacks in the house other than some Trader Joe's

popcorn and I cook wisely.

I know its hard but we have to keep remembering that no one was ever

able to change us by nagging. Change comes from within.

God bless,

Carol G.

> Hello to all. I have a dilema and need some feed back. Have any of

you

> experienced a significant other meaning husband, wife, girl

friend, boyfriend ect

> gaining alot of weight after your surgery?

> I am concerned for my husband as he has really shot up and I don't

know if

> there is anything I can do. he already complains(mildly) about his

back, legs

> hurting sometimes hard to breathe. he has beginning signs of

asthma and has had

> high B/P long before putting on wieght as this runs on his fathers

side of the

> family.

> Watching this tears me to pieces and we do talk and try to catch

myself when

> i become nagging as I know this is the worst thing you can do to

someone who

> is overwieght. I am really scared that I will be a widow before

the age of

> 40(1.5 years away)

> Any suggestions, anything I can do? I need help

>

> Oh one more important thing we are in marital counseling and

address this

> everytime we go and I recently started WW and try and get him to

do the point

> system along with me and he seems to like it but still makes

horrible food

> choices,

> Again any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

>

>

>

> Always be Optimistic as a good Positive Attitude takes us a long

way and

> remember our new motto " a little bit of something is better than

a whole lot of

> nothing " .

> Please feel free to Email me or call me as I am always here for

you and you

> have been for me.

>

> Ronit ( Row-Neet) Kalmanor

> Dr.Andrei SPMC New Brunswick,NJ

> 11/10/00-LAP RNY

> (H)

> (Cell)

>

>

>

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The one thing I know Ronit, is my DH too gained about 20 lbs after my

surgery, and he was already about 50 over already. I did not realize I was

giving him

my food that I could not eat. So it wouldn't go to waste. You know. So I have

stopped giving him my food, and just take it home if we're in restaurant , or

put it away in fridge.

THe other thing is I have noticed that when my DH changed jobs from an active

one to a sedentary one about a year and a half ago, he did not increase his

activity, and so that is part of the weight gain too. I know what you mean, I

tell my DH how much I love him every day, and tell him please to stay on earth

with me, and please take care of himself. But, I also see how he struggles

with appetite and satiation. And he comes from a heavy family of folks in high

200s, with one very dear uncle being super-heavy, about 450 some pounds.

I asked my DH if he wanted to look into the surgery, but he said no. Then he

said, do you think I should?, and I said, well, I believe it is an option for

you dear heart if you choose to. He follows the Eads diet (for about four

years now) which says you can eat a ridiculous ton of protein, the prob is that

if

you are not strict about low carbs (he tries but falls off a little to a lot

depending on the day) you might as well just eat ice cream all day. I feel

like they sold a bill of goods; that no one can eat a jillion calories and be a

normal weight unless they have a very fast metabolism.

I feel so for my poor DH. I know he wants to weigh less very much, but... you

know, I can love him everywhich way but loose, but cannot lead him into a

critical decision that he must make on his own. I will be talking to him again

soon as he is back into slightly coming out of his biggest clothes again. I hope

to be able to help him; Even if he could lose 50 pounds and maintain, it

would be so better for him, his breathing, his body, his everything. Even 30

pounds.

How much weight has your DH gained do you think? Or how much do you think he

weighs total? Has he ever been on " diets " before?

The other thing I do for my husband, I make SURE he gets his yearly

check-ups, extensive labs, etc., for EVERYTHING, and I make sure to get him to

the

doctor if ever he is ill, which is very rare. He too like your Dh has knee probs

that are made worse by his weight no doubt. I do feed him healthy food, fresh

food, but I am afraid he is addicted when he is away from me, to what is

easiest, which is burger king 2 or 3 double whopper bacon hamburgers without the

buns. SIgn. I keep trying. I feel positive about the fact that I can help him in

many ways to stay as healthy as possible at least most of the time. Don't you

give up either.

love,

ceep g-mom

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Hi everyone,

Yes, my husband has gained as I lost too. We joke: for every five I lost,

he has gained 2. My problem is I can't nag, or be judgemental-after

all-because he didn't do it to me all those years. I do get upset when he

plays carbo cop with me, then I strike back and take one more bite. Rather

stupid, and it doesn't work. He does like to feed me=brings home little

" almost legal " goodies, and I do indulge, but I have to remind him that I

really would do better if I didn't partake in the no sugar added Baskin

Robbins thin mint ice cream. Now my treat is a sugar free popsickle...yum!

Sure helps beat the heat we have been having.

Today I went shopping-and bought some clothes. I love to shop second

hand-and came home with some blouses, a skirt, and two dresses. The skirt

is a size 16-and a little loose, the shirts are large or medium, and both

dresses are large. It feels sooo good. The selection is greater as I

shrink. The best part is that one of the dresses was made in Hawaii, and

while we were there I really admired the dress one of the dancers wore. It

had long body darts and seaming to make it skim her figure-NOT a mumu.

Well, this one is built just like it-and I LOOK GOOD IN IT. I don't

remember who said it, but I like the saying, " Nothing tastes as good as thin

feels. " . I have made it my montra (did I spell it right?) every time I get

cravings for something.

I have to wade through the rest of the posts, so goodbye!

Sue D in Anchorage, AK

Distal RNY, open, 10/7/93, Dr's Oh & Fox in Tacoma, WA

from 301 to 149

Revision of stomach-Fobi Pouch

8/9/02, Dr. Marema in Ft. Lauderdale, FL

from 258 to 173 and counting!

Highest weight ever: 350+

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