Waaaay OT - Bipolar Disorder questions

[Guest guest]

Perhaps you should consider letting her kids live with you for a while - it

would be better than foster care, but perhaps also better than growing up with a

mentally defective mother till Mom is well. I know, you probably think you

don't have the room for them or the money and stuff but where there is a will

there is a way?

s.

Re: Waaaay OT - Bipolar Disorder questions

I wish her other family could help! They aren't really in any

position to, however. Her mother has similar problems, and she

doesn't feel like she can turn to her dad. My husband is her only

sibling, and she is so afraid of disappointing him, I end up talking

to her instead of him.

They've had a rocky past themselves due to their mother's mental

health issues, and were in foster care on and off throughout their

childhood. That's part of why my husband doesn't consider a child

protection order much of an option. He's a social worker and knows

much more about the way the system works and doesn't want the two

girls to go through what he did as a child. It is a complicated

mess. And I come from the Leave it to Beaver family so this is

completely new to me!

> > > >

> > > > I know this is way off topic, but I wanted to see if anyone

> here

> > > as

> > > > any experience dealing with a friend or family member that

has

> > > been

> > > > diagnosed as bi-polar.

> > > >

> > > > Long story short, my SIL just got out of the hospital

> yesterday

> > > after

> > > > having a manic episode. I'm looking for resources for

several

> > > > reasons:

> > > >

> > > > 1. There are kids involved (she has 2 girls, age 3 and 18

> > months)

> > > > and I'm concerned about their safety

> > > > 2. She needs a place to live, and support to take care of

the

> > > place,

> > > > herself and the kids

> > > > 3. How the heck do my husband and I deal with her? She

calls

> us

> > > for

> > > > help sometimes and I have no idea what to do.

> > > >

> > > > We can't afford to take her kids in our house, and I don't

> want

> > > her

> > > > living with us, putting Aleksander in danger. He doesn't

> deserve

> > > > that!

> > > >

> > > > But I also want to make sure she and her children are taken

> care

> > > > of....where to start???

> > > >

> > > > I have contacted a licensed clinical social worker locally to

> > find

> > > > out what we can do, and I've also got a number for her local

> NAMI

> > > > representative. We've also given her numbers to call to get

> into

> > > > some transitional housing....but we have no idea what she'll

> do.

> > > And

> > > > the father of the kids isn't too much better. He let her

> > > behaviors

> > > > go unchecked for several months until she snapped at her

> > > daughter's

> > > > pre-school and had to be taken to the hospital.

> > > >

> > > > Ugh...in-laws! It is really too bad you have to marry into

an

> > > entire

> > > > family!

> > > >

> > > > Thanks!

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I know this is way off topic, but I wanted to see if anyone here as

any experience dealing with a friend or family member that has been

diagnosed as bi-polar.

Long story short, my SIL just got out of the hospital yesterday after

having a manic episode. I'm looking for resources for several

reasons:

1. There are kids involved (she has 2 girls, age 3 and 18 months)

and I'm concerned about their safety

2. She needs a place to live, and support to take care of the place,

herself and the kids

3. How the heck do my husband and I deal with her? She calls us for

help sometimes and I have no idea what to do.

We can't afford to take her kids in our house, and I don't want her

living with us, putting Aleksander in danger. He doesn't deserve

that!

But I also want to make sure she and her children are taken care

of....where to start???

I have contacted a licensed clinical social worker locally to find

out what we can do, and I've also got a number for her local NAMI

representative. We've also given her numbers to call to get into

some transitional housing....but we have no idea what she'll do. And

the father of the kids isn't too much better. He let her behaviors

go unchecked for several months until she snapped at her daughter's

pre-school and had to be taken to the hospital.

Ugh...in-laws! It is really too bad you have to marry into an entire

family!

Thanks!

[Guest guest]

Is she on any medications? Someone I know has bipolar disorder and

she usually has these manic episodes when she forgets to take her

meds.

>

> I know this is way off topic, but I wanted to see if anyone here

as

> any experience dealing with a friend or family member that has

been

> diagnosed as bi-polar.

>

> Long story short, my SIL just got out of the hospital yesterday

after

> having a manic episode. I'm looking for resources for several

> reasons:

>

> 1. There are kids involved (she has 2 girls, age 3 and 18 months)

> and I'm concerned about their safety

> 2. She needs a place to live, and support to take care of the

place,

> herself and the kids

> 3. How the heck do my husband and I deal with her? She calls us

for

> help sometimes and I have no idea what to do.

>

> We can't afford to take her kids in our house, and I don't want

her

> living with us, putting Aleksander in danger. He doesn't deserve

> that!

>

> But I also want to make sure she and her children are taken care

> of....where to start???

>

> I have contacted a licensed clinical social worker locally to find

> out what we can do, and I've also got a number for her local NAMI

> representative. We've also given her numbers to call to get into

> some transitional housing....but we have no idea what she'll do.

And

> the father of the kids isn't too much better. He let her

behaviors

> go unchecked for several months until she snapped at her

daughter's

> pre-school and had to be taken to the hospital.

>

> Ugh...in-laws! It is really too bad you have to marry into an

entire

> family!

>

> Thanks!

>

>

[Guest guest]

She was taking Paxil, then some other antidepressant, but they only

made her manic episodes work. She did go off the meds, and that was

what contributed to her breakdown. Now she's taking Depakote and

Xyprexa, which are both specifically for Bipolar, although Depakote

can also be used for seizure prevention.

I've just found another message board that may be helpful. I'm

hoping the social worker I'm going to talk to tomorrow will have some

good advice! I do fear for her children.

> >

> > I know this is way off topic, but I wanted to see if anyone here

> as

> > any experience dealing with a friend or family member that has

> been

> > diagnosed as bi-polar.

> >

> > Long story short, my SIL just got out of the hospital yesterday

> after

> > having a manic episode. I'm looking for resources for several

> > reasons:

> >

> > 1. There are kids involved (she has 2 girls, age 3 and 18

months)

> > and I'm concerned about their safety

> > 2. She needs a place to live, and support to take care of the

> place,

> > herself and the kids

> > 3. How the heck do my husband and I deal with her? She calls us

> for

> > help sometimes and I have no idea what to do.

> >

> > We can't afford to take her kids in our house, and I don't want

> her

> > living with us, putting Aleksander in danger. He doesn't deserve

> > that!

> >

> > But I also want to make sure she and her children are taken care

> > of....where to start???

> >

> > I have contacted a licensed clinical social worker locally to

find

> > out what we can do, and I've also got a number for her local NAMI

> > representative. We've also given her numbers to call to get into

> > some transitional housing....but we have no idea what she'll do.

> And

> > the father of the kids isn't too much better. He let her

> behaviors

> > go unchecked for several months until she snapped at her

> daughter's

> > pre-school and had to be taken to the hospital.

> >

> > Ugh...in-laws! It is really too bad you have to marry into an

> entire

> > family!

> >

> > Thanks!

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I know it can be scary. This person I know has these episodes in a

very bad way. She hurts herself, although I don't know if she's ever

tried to harm anyone else. Your SIL definitely needs to be watched

over - at least until the the disorder is under control with

other/new meds. It just may take some time so don't take it all on

your shoulders. Let other family members get involved.

> > >

> > > I know this is way off topic, but I wanted to see if anyone

here

> > as

> > > any experience dealing with a friend or family member that has

> > been

> > > diagnosed as bi-polar.

> > >

> > > Long story short, my SIL just got out of the hospital

yesterday

> > after

> > > having a manic episode. I'm looking for resources for several

> > > reasons:

> > >

> > > 1. There are kids involved (she has 2 girls, age 3 and 18

> months)

> > > and I'm concerned about their safety

> > > 2. She needs a place to live, and support to take care of the

> > place,

> > > herself and the kids

> > > 3. How the heck do my husband and I deal with her? She calls

us

> > for

> > > help sometimes and I have no idea what to do.

> > >

> > > We can't afford to take her kids in our house, and I don't

want

> > her

> > > living with us, putting Aleksander in danger. He doesn't

deserve

> > > that!

> > >

> > > But I also want to make sure she and her children are taken

care

> > > of....where to start???

> > >

> > > I have contacted a licensed clinical social worker locally to

> find

> > > out what we can do, and I've also got a number for her local

NAMI

> > > representative. We've also given her numbers to call to get

into

> > > some transitional housing....but we have no idea what she'll

do.

> > And

> > > the father of the kids isn't too much better. He let her

> > behaviors

> > > go unchecked for several months until she snapped at her

> > daughter's

> > > pre-school and had to be taken to the hospital.

> > >

> > > Ugh...in-laws! It is really too bad you have to marry into an

> > entire

> > > family!

> > >

> > > Thanks!

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I wish her other family could help! They aren't really in any

position to, however. Her mother has similar problems, and she

doesn't feel like she can turn to her dad. My husband is her only

sibling, and she is so afraid of disappointing him, I end up talking

to her instead of him.

They've had a rocky past themselves due to their mother's mental

health issues, and were in foster care on and off throughout their

childhood. That's part of why my husband doesn't consider a child

protection order much of an option. He's a social worker and knows

much more about the way the system works and doesn't want the two

girls to go through what he did as a child. It is a complicated

mess. And I come from the Leave it to Beaver family so this is

completely new to me!

> > > >

> > > > I know this is way off topic, but I wanted to see if anyone

> here

> > > as

> > > > any experience dealing with a friend or family member that

has

> > > been

> > > > diagnosed as bi-polar.

> > > >

> > > > Long story short, my SIL just got out of the hospital

> yesterday

> > > after

> > > > having a manic episode. I'm looking for resources for

several

> > > > reasons:

> > > >

> > > > 1. There are kids involved (she has 2 girls, age 3 and 18

> > months)

> > > > and I'm concerned about their safety

> > > > 2. She needs a place to live, and support to take care of

the

> > > place,

> > > > herself and the kids

> > > > 3. How the heck do my husband and I deal with her? She

calls

> us

> > > for

> > > > help sometimes and I have no idea what to do.

> > > >

> > > > We can't afford to take her kids in our house, and I don't

> want

> > > her

> > > > living with us, putting Aleksander in danger. He doesn't

> deserve

> > > > that!

> > > >

> > > > But I also want to make sure she and her children are taken

> care

> > > > of....where to start???

> > > >

> > > > I have contacted a licensed clinical social worker locally to

> > find

> > > > out what we can do, and I've also got a number for her local

> NAMI

> > > > representative. We've also given her numbers to call to get

> into

> > > > some transitional housing....but we have no idea what she'll

> do.

> > > And

> > > > the father of the kids isn't too much better. He let her

> > > behaviors

> > > > go unchecked for several months until she snapped at her

> > > daughter's

> > > > pre-school and had to be taken to the hospital.

> > > >

> > > > Ugh...in-laws! It is really too bad you have to marry into

an

> > > entire

> > > > family!

> > > >

> > > > Thanks!

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

It's a tough thing to go through. If she lives close enough to you

then maybe it would be easier to just check up on them throughout

the day and make sure everything is ok. Or, if possible, even

getting the children into a daycare of some sort for most of the day

could help get things through until good treatment is established.

> > > > >

> > > > > I know this is way off topic, but I wanted to see if

anyone

> > here

> > > > as

> > > > > any experience dealing with a friend or family member that

> has

> > > > been

> > > > > diagnosed as bi-polar.

> > > > >

> > > > > Long story short, my SIL just got out of the hospital

> > yesterday

> > > > after

> > > > > having a manic episode. I'm looking for resources for

> several

> > > > > reasons:

> > > > >

> > > > > 1. There are kids involved (she has 2 girls, age 3 and 18

> > > months)

> > > > > and I'm concerned about their safety

> > > > > 2. She needs a place to live, and support to take care of

> the

> > > > place,

> > > > > herself and the kids

> > > > > 3. How the heck do my husband and I deal with her? She

> calls

> > us

> > > > for

> > > > > help sometimes and I have no idea what to do.

> > > > >

> > > > > We can't afford to take her kids in our house, and I don't

> > want

> > > > her

> > > > > living with us, putting Aleksander in danger. He doesn't

> > deserve

> > > > > that!

> > > > >

> > > > > But I also want to make sure she and her children are

taken

> > care

> > > > > of....where to start???

> > > > >

> > > > > I have contacted a licensed clinical social worker locally

to

> > > find

> > > > > out what we can do, and I've also got a number for her

local

> > NAMI

> > > > > representative. We've also given her numbers to call to

get

> > into

> > > > > some transitional housing....but we have no idea what

she'll

> > do.

> > > > And

> > > > > the father of the kids isn't too much better. He let her

> > > > behaviors

> > > > > go unchecked for several months until she snapped at her

> > > > daughter's

> > > > > pre-school and had to be taken to the hospital.

> > > > >

> > > > > Ugh...in-laws! It is really too bad you have to marry

into

> an

> > > > entire

> > > > > family!

> > > > >

> > > > > Thanks!

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

This is my area of law and I can tell you from the MULTITUDES of

reports and legal proceedings I deal with every day, this is not a

family issue any longer. (Please..... verify my identity, 13th

Judicial Circuit, Juvenile Dependency, Hillsborough County, Florida,

Assistant to General Magistrate Joan Montagno, .)

Terrible things happen every day to the unfortunate children of

parent with bi-polar disorder and other mental health issues

(including issues with anger management).

The LAST thing you want to do is bring this situation into your

household.

Most people with these types of disorders don't readily agree to psy

evals and/or services to improve their lives until ordered (by the

courts) to do so, and sometimes not even then.

The safety of the children is primary. Report this situation

immediately to Child Protective Services. They will analyze the

situation and they have the authority to assist the courts to ORDER

the necessary evals and/or services for the mother and father to

keep these children safe.

You have taken very loving and hopeful steps, however, if there are

verifiable mental health issues, these people may not be capable of

making positive choices for themselves or their children.

As a post script,.............I wanted my first posting here to say

thanks. As I shared with Faith earlier, as I am preparing my

horrible dockets, I sometimes check my personal email. Everytime I

check, there are the most wonderful postings from this site! It

brings a smile to my heart as I am preparing the Magistrate's notes

(involving abusers, molesters, and the like) and is much appreciated.

God Bless, I hope this helps!!

>

> I know this is way off topic, but I wanted to see if anyone here

as

> any experience dealing with a friend or family member that has

been

> diagnosed as bi-polar.

>

> Long story short, my SIL just got out of the hospital yesterday

after

> having a manic episode. I'm looking for resources for several

> reasons:

>

> 1. There are kids involved (she has 2 girls, age 3 and 18 months)

> and I'm concerned about their safety

> 2. She needs a place to live, and support to take care of the

place,

> herself and the kids

> 3. How the heck do my husband and I deal with her? She calls us

for

> help sometimes and I have no idea what to do.

>

> We can't afford to take her kids in our house, and I don't want

her

> living with us, putting Aleksander in danger. He doesn't deserve

> that!

>

> But I also want to make sure she and her children are taken care

> of....where to start???

>

> I have contacted a licensed clinical social worker locally to find

> out what we can do, and I've also got a number for her local NAMI

> representative. We've also given her numbers to call to get into

> some transitional housing....but we have no idea what she'll do.

And

> the father of the kids isn't too much better. He let her

behaviors

> go unchecked for several months until she snapped at her

daughter's

> pre-school and had to be taken to the hospital.

>

> Ugh...in-laws! It is really too bad you have to marry into an

entire

> family!

>

> Thanks!

>

>

[Guest guest]

We've talked about that, and although we have room, we really can't

afford daycare for 3 kids. Not even considering our daycare is at

least $100/week less than most around here.

If she lived with us, we could swing it financially because we

wouldn't need daycare for the girls.

Even though we are a two income family, my husband is works with DD

adult and makes squat and I don't make nearly enough to support him

staying home with the kids.

He did say that if it came down to it though, he'd consider getting

another job on the weekends to pay for them staying with us. It

would suck, but I know he'd be willing to do that to keep the girls

in his family and safe. If the father of the girls does try to get

custody, I do know we'll be fighting him in court, and will

be getting that second job.

> > > > >

> > > > > I know this is way off topic, but I wanted to see if

anyone

> > here

> > > > as

> > > > > any experience dealing with a friend or family member that

> has

> > > > been

> > > > > diagnosed as bi-polar.

> > > > >

> > > > > Long story short, my SIL just got out of the hospital

> > yesterday

> > > > after

> > > > > having a manic episode. I'm looking for resources for

> several

> > > > > reasons:

> > > > >

> > > > > 1. There are kids involved (she has 2 girls, age 3 and 18

> > > months)

> > > > > and I'm concerned about their safety

> > > > > 2. She needs a place to live, and support to take care of

> the

> > > > place,

> > > > > herself and the kids

> > > > > 3. How the heck do my husband and I deal with her? She

> calls

> > us

> > > > for

> > > > > help sometimes and I have no idea what to do.

> > > > >

> > > > > We can't afford to take her kids in our house, and I don't

> > want

> > > > her

> > > > > living with us, putting Aleksander in danger. He doesn't

> > deserve

> > > > > that!

> > > > >

> > > > > But I also want to make sure she and her children are

taken

> > care

> > > > > of....where to start???

> > > > >

> > > > > I have contacted a licensed clinical social worker locally

to

> > > find

> > > > > out what we can do, and I've also got a number for her

local

> > NAMI

> > > > > representative. We've also given her numbers to call to

get

> > into

> > > > > some transitional housing....but we have no idea what

she'll

> > do.

> > > > And

> > > > > the father of the kids isn't too much better. He let her

> > > > behaviors

> > > > > go unchecked for several months until she snapped at her

> > > > daughter's

> > > > > pre-school and had to be taken to the hospital.

> > > > >

> > > > > Ugh...in-laws! It is really too bad you have to marry

into

> an

> > > > entire

> > > > > family!

> > > > >

> > > > > Thanks!

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My mom is classic bipolar. The problem with people experiencing this

....literally, affliction, is they don't tend to stay on their meds. They start

to feel " normal " and think, " I don't need this stuff " . It doesn't matter how

many times they've yo-yo'd before, they always think " this time I'll be ok. The

problem is the meds don't allow them to have extreme highs or lows.. the stay

somewhere in the middle. When my mom isn't on her meds she can be in a " manic

faze then suddenly within seconds be angry and depressed. It'll absolutely blow

your mind if you don't know what's going on. Mom takes a rather high dosage of

Zoloft. She was on Prozac once for about a month and it just turned her into a

cool tempered *itch. She'd look at me evenly while I was getting ready to go to

school and tell me I was dressed like a slut...(I could be wearing overalls---

it didn't matter) It was awful. I was never in any kind of physical danger

though.... The biggest problem is the impulsiveness and

emotional crutches they use. My mom was ALWAYs in an enormous amount of debt.

Her crutch was loser men. The sicker they were the better... it took the focus

off her to " save " them.She has issues with sex addiction too. She tends to

equate sex with power and love... plus, I'm sure it has something to do with

dopamine levels. Anyway, growing up with my mom was crazy. She brought a crack

addict into our lives for a few years who would occasionally get into trouble

with his dealers. They often came to bang on our door, and he stole everything

he could get his hands on more than once. The guy after that was an

alcoholic...after that a bum ex-musician who almost " made it " and never gave up

trying. He ringed us out of thousands of dollars and once drew a gun on my mom.

(This guy is the reason I left home when I graduated). Having said all that,

until I was ready to leave, I would have been insanely furious at anyone who

would have tried to take me away from her(of course I was older-- 12

when she divorced my stepdad). She was hurtful, unpredictable, and impulsive,

but under it all, I KNEW she loved me. Sometimes her monetary impulses meant

spoiling me rotten..or sending me to Europe. She always wanted the best for me,

she just couldn't stop screwing up her own life to save mine. If the kids are in

real danger, I'd say do all you can. But until they can either ask for help, or

you think they are in real eminent physical danger... I don't know how much you

should get involved legally. I know that sounds awful.I would " be there " as much

as you can be. I know there are social workers who visit homes to help parents "

cope " with life and their children...maybe that's an option. Your best bet is to

just make sure she stays on her meds. Most bi-polar victims are just fine when

they comply. The other thing you have to remember is, while they have some

volition, it IS a real sickness. She doesn't act crazy because she's a bad

person. It took me YEARS to understand this

concept in more than a clinical way. Now I can forgive her when she's nuts.

kannhoudek wrote:

She was taking Paxil, then some other antidepressant, but they only

made her manic episodes work. She did go off the meds, and that was

what contributed to her breakdown. Now she's taking Depakote and

Xyprexa, which are both specifically for Bipolar, although Depakote

can also be used for seizure prevention.

I've just found another message board that may be helpful. I'm

hoping the social worker I'm going to talk to tomorrow will have some

good advice! I do fear for her children.

> >

> > I know this is way off topic, but I wanted to see if anyone here

> as

> > any experience dealing with a friend or family member that has

> been

> > diagnosed as bi-polar.

> >

> > Long story short, my SIL just got out of the hospital yesterday

> after

> > having a manic episode. I'm looking for resources for several

> > reasons:

> >

> > 1. There are kids involved (she has 2 girls, age 3 and 18

months)

> > and I'm concerned about their safety

> > 2. She needs a place to live, and support to take care of the

> place,

> > herself and the kids

> > 3. How the heck do my husband and I deal with her? She calls us

> for

> > help sometimes and I have no idea what to do.

> >

> > We can't afford to take her kids in our house, and I don't want

> her

> > living with us, putting Aleksander in danger. He doesn't deserve

> > that!

> >

> > But I also want to make sure she and her children are taken care

> > of....where to start???

> >

> > I have contacted a licensed clinical social worker locally to

find

> > out what we can do, and I've also got a number for her local NAMI

> > representative. We've also given her numbers to call to get into

> > some transitional housing....but we have no idea what she'll do.

> And

> > the father of the kids isn't too much better. He let her

> behaviors

> > go unchecked for several months until she snapped at her

> daughter's

> > pre-school and had to be taken to the hospital.

> >

> > Ugh...in-laws! It is really too bad you have to marry into an

> entire

> > family!

> >

> > Thanks!

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I think I would have been willing to live with a relative as long as I knew it

wasn't a legal arrangement. YEs, I agree that would have been better than living

with my mother while she was in one of her phases.

kannhoudek wrote:We've talked about that, and although we

have room, we really can't

afford daycare for 3 kids. Not even considering our daycare is at

least $100/week less than most around here.

If she lived with us, we could swing it financially because we

wouldn't need daycare for the girls.

Even though we are a two income family, my husband is works with DD

adult and makes squat and I don't make nearly enough to support him

staying home with the kids.

He did say that if it came down to it though, he'd consider getting

another job on the weekends to pay for them staying with us. It

would suck, but I know he'd be willing to do that to keep the girls

in his family and safe. If the father of the girls does try to get

custody, I do know we'll be fighting him in court, and will

be getting that second job.

> > > > >

> > > > > I know this is way off topic, but I wanted to see if

anyone

> > here

> > > > as

> > > > > any experience dealing with a friend or family member that

> has

> > > > been

> > > > > diagnosed as bi-polar.

> > > > >

> > > > > Long story short, my SIL just got out of the hospital

> > yesterday

> > > > after

> > > > > having a manic episode. I'm looking for resources for

> several

> > > > > reasons:

> > > > >

> > > > > 1. There are kids involved (she has 2 girls, age 3 and 18

> > > months)

> > > > > and I'm concerned about their safety

> > > > > 2. She needs a place to live, and support to take care of

> the

> > > > place,

> > > > > herself and the kids

> > > > > 3. How the heck do my husband and I deal with her? She

> calls

> > us

> > > > for

> > > > > help sometimes and I have no idea what to do.

> > > > >

> > > > > We can't afford to take her kids in our house, and I don't

> > want

> > > > her

> > > > > living with us, putting Aleksander in danger. He doesn't

> > deserve

> > > > > that!

> > > > >

> > > > > But I also want to make sure she and her children are

taken

> > care

> > > > > of....where to start???

> > > > >

> > > > > I have contacted a licensed clinical social worker locally

to

> > > find

> > > > > out what we can do, and I've also got a number for her

local

> > NAMI

> > > > > representative. We've also given her numbers to call to

get

> > into

> > > > > some transitional housing....but we have no idea what

she'll

> > do.

> > > > And

> > > > > the father of the kids isn't too much better. He let her

> > > > behaviors

> > > > > go unchecked for several months until she snapped at her

> > > > daughter's

> > > > > pre-school and had to be taken to the hospital.

> > > > >

> > > > > Ugh...in-laws! It is really too bad you have to marry

into

> an

> > > > entire

> > > > > family!

> > > > >

> > > > > Thanks!

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much for sharing your story.

My mother-in-law is also bi-polar, and my husband and his sister grew

up in and out of foster care. His father was also an alcolholic,

they were very poor, etc etc etc. Later in life, when the kids were

old enough to choose, my husband decided to live with his dad. His

dad had stopped drinking and worked his butt off to afford his

trailer and the piece of land he now owns some 30 years later. His

mom hasn't ever really worked, likely due to her mental illness.

His sister decided, when she was old enough, to live with her

mother. We wonder sometimes if perhaps this contributed to her

current decision making. She has had three kids, the first one she

gave up for adoption almost 10 years ago, and the other two she has

with her.

As you were saying about your mother, we KNOW absolutely she loves

those girls and would do anything she is capable of to help them.

Right now, however, she isn't even capable of taking care of

herself. We are really hoping that once her medications kick in

(Depakote and Xyprexa), that she'll figure things out and get back on

her feet. But, we know that some time down the line, whether it is 1

year or 10 years from now, she's going to end up right back where she

is now.

I really do understand that most of her behaviors are due to her

disorder, and that she doesn't mean to harm others. I'm struggling

more with the thought that she can't recognize that having dirty

diapers on the floor is not healthy for her kids. I know she cares

about them, but loving them isn't going to change diapers, feed them

and keep them safe. KWIM? Sometimes loving just isn't enough. And

that's what my husband and I have to figure out....and why we would

prefer that she stabilizes enough so we can have her live with us so

we can make sure the basics are taken care of for her girls so she

can concentrate on what she is really good at - loving the girls.

We are also very afraid that her ex is going to take the girls away

from her, and that means us to. He doesn't talk to his own family,

and hasn't for over 10 years. We know if he has them, we won't ever

get to see them again. It already breaks my husband's heart that he

can't see his nephew because he was adopted. Family is so important

to him.....more so than even me. I know it is because his has been

torn apart by mental illness. He had to see his mom being carted off

in an ambulance many times growing up because of her mental illness,

and then now sees his sister in the same situation. Plus, she has a

history of attempting suicide. He says that the way she is now, is

how she was when she tried last time. That is his biggest

fear...that the girls will find her.

I'm thinking I may give her a call to talk...I'm learning that I have

to be very careful so she doesnt' think I'm calling to check up on

her though. I joined another message board specifically for this and

have gotten some fantistic information from others who are bipolar.

It is a complex and frightening thing...for both the people who have

it, and those who see their loved ones dealing with it.

I think it is amazing when I hear of stories like your's, and how

strong children can be...and resiliant. You should be extremely

proud of yourself for coming out the other end!

> > >

> > > I know this is way off topic, but I wanted to see if anyone

here

> > as

> > > any experience dealing with a friend or family member that has

> > been

> > > diagnosed as bi-polar.

> > >

> > > Long story short, my SIL just got out of the hospital yesterday

> > after

> > > having a manic episode. I'm looking for resources for several

> > > reasons:

> > >

> > > 1. There are kids involved (she has 2 girls, age 3 and 18

> months)

> > > and I'm concerned about their safety

> > > 2. She needs a place to live, and support to take care of the

> > place,

> > > herself and the kids

> > > 3. How the heck do my husband and I deal with her? She calls

us

> > for

> > > help sometimes and I have no idea what to do.

> > >

> > > We can't afford to take her kids in our house, and I don't want

> > her

> > > living with us, putting Aleksander in danger. He doesn't

deserve

> > > that!

> > >

> > > But I also want to make sure she and her children are taken

care

> > > of....where to start???

> > >

> > > I have contacted a licensed clinical social worker locally to

> find

> > > out what we can do, and I've also got a number for her local

NAMI

> > > representative. We've also given her numbers to call to get

into

> > > some transitional housing....but we have no idea what she'll

do.

> > And

> > > the father of the kids isn't too much better. He let her

> > behaviors

> > > go unchecked for several months until she snapped at her

> > daughter's

> > > pre-school and had to be taken to the hospital.

> > >

> > > Ugh...in-laws! It is really too bad you have to marry into an

> > entire

> > > family!

> > >

> > > Thanks!

> > >

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That's exactly what my husband has said too. He didn't like foster

care at all. The families treated him differently and he was a very

smart boy. He figured a lot of stuff out much earlier than most kids

do.

He said if he had been able to stay with his aunt and uncle, any of

them, it would have been so much easier to cope with. He still

resents his mom for everything that happened, even though he does

know that is wasn't entirely her fault.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I know this is way off topic, but I wanted to see if

> anyone

> > > here

> > > > > as

> > > > > > any experience dealing with a friend or family member

that

> > has

> > > > > been

> > > > > > diagnosed as bi-polar.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Long story short, my SIL just got out of the hospital

> > > yesterday

> > > > > after

> > > > > > having a manic episode. I'm looking for resources for

> > several

> > > > > > reasons:

> > > > > >

> > > > > > 1. There are kids involved (she has 2 girls, age 3 and

18

> > > > months)

> > > > > > and I'm concerned about their safety

> > > > > > 2. She needs a place to live, and support to take care

of

> > the

> > > > > place,

> > > > > > herself and the kids

> > > > > > 3. How the heck do my husband and I deal with her? She

> > calls

> > > us

> > > > > for

> > > > > > help sometimes and I have no idea what to do.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > We can't afford to take her kids in our house, and I

don't

> > > want

> > > > > her

> > > > > > living with us, putting Aleksander in danger. He doesn't

> > > deserve

> > > > > > that!

> > > > > >

> > > > > > But I also want to make sure she and her children are

> taken

> > > care

> > > > > > of....where to start???

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I have contacted a licensed clinical social worker

locally

> to

> > > > find

> > > > > > out what we can do, and I've also got a number for her

> local

> > > NAMI

> > > > > > representative. We've also given her numbers to call to

> get

> > > into

> > > > > > some transitional housing....but we have no idea what

> she'll

> > > do.

> > > > > And

> > > > > > the father of the kids isn't too much better. He let her

> > > > > behaviors

> > > > > > go unchecked for several months until she snapped at her

> > > > > daughter's

> > > > > > pre-school and had to be taken to the hospital.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Ugh...in-laws! It is really too bad you have to marry

> into

> > an

> > > > > entire

> > > > > > family!

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Thanks!

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I, too, have a SIL who is bi-polar. I am happy to

report that she is neither married or a parent. Every

time my MIL comes to visit us from out east, my SIL

has an episode of some sort and occupies all of her

time, which has been very frustrating for my DH

because he wants his mom to come and see his kids and

family, etc. She has regularly stolen from him/us,

asked for money continually for " medication " and we

also feel that she was involved in a break-in at our

house. We have chosen to cut her off, but that is

because we can. Your situation is more difficult

because there are children involved and that is so

hard. I unfortunately don't have any particular

advice, but I offer support in whatever you decide to

do. Best wishes to you!

--- kannhoudek wrote:

---------------------------------

I know this is way off topic, but I wanted to see if

anyone here as

any experience dealing with a friend or family member

that has been

diagnosed as bi-polar.

Long story short, my SIL just got out of the hospital

yesterday after

having a manic episode. I'm looking for resources for

several

reasons:

1. There are kids involved (she has 2 girls, age 3

and 18 months)

and I'm concerned about their safety

2. She needs a place to live, and support to take

care of the place,

herself and the kids

3. How the heck do my husband and I deal with her?

She calls us for

help sometimes and I have no idea what to do.

We can't afford to take her kids in our house, and I

don't want her

living with us, putting Aleksander in danger. He

doesn't deserve

that!

But I also want to make sure she and her children are

taken care

of....where to start???

I have contacted a licensed clinical social worker

locally to find

out what we can do, and I've also got a number for her

local NAMI

representative. We've also given her numbers to call

to get into

some transitional housing....but we have no idea what

she'll do. And

the father of the kids isn't too much better. He let

her behaviors

go unchecked for several months until she snapped at

her daughter's

pre-school and had to be taken to the hospital.

Ugh...in-laws! It is really too bad you have to marry

into an entire

family!

Thanks!