Re: Hi Randy

[Guest guest]

Hi Lilka! You really hit on something with me. I am grazing a lot

and I never realized it until I saw myself on the security tape

yesterday at work. Geez, it was horrid to watch. Needless to say,

that practice has come to a screeching halt. And with the weather

improvements, I'm back to walking to work again. That in itself

will help immensely. In the morning, I'll be going back to Kaiser

Napa to visit the " crazy scale " , as I so fondly call it. It tends

to weigh me at about 2-4 heavier than the scale in Richmond. In any

event, we'll see how things work tomorrow. The good thing is that

I've seen [at least some of] the errors of my ways. I'm back on

track again and am heading in the right direction.

Ron

>

> Hi there, Randy. This procedure will be no fun. I send you all my

> good wishes and hope for the future. Did you ever get my message

to

> you after we met? To repeat, it was so wonderful to meet you. You

> wrote a message about addiction after that and I never addressed

it.

> I did my dissertation on fat and sex and I had to address this

> subject myself.You said you did not think that overeating was an

> addiction because we have to eat. But anything can be an addiction

> if you have a dependency on it that is tied to your feelings. We

> need sex but some people are compulsive about it. Some of us are

> compulsive about our eating. We are not hungry, we are just

wanting

> to pleasure ourselves with the taste of food. And sometimes no

> amount is enough. It may not be a chemical addiction but it acts

on

> us the same. I used to go to OA and although I was an overeater,

we

> used and found completely relevant the AA stuff. I even decided in

> the last few years that I was not a compulsive overeater and I

have

> to say that for about 10 years, I did not gain weight.(Of course

i

> almost weighed 300 LBS) But now that my food has been diminished

and

> my stomach is so limited, I find myself grazing a bit which is not

a

> good thing. I am wondering why I do this. I keep cherry tomatoes

on

> the counter and I grab one as I go by. Why? I keep shaved almonds

in

> a drawer and I grab a small amount as I go by. Why? I keep rye

> crackers in the same drawer and grab a few as I go by. Why? Am I

> hungry? Maybe. Maybe not, hard to tell. Is this an addiction? I

> think so. Today I put everything away and told myself, " 3 meals a

> day. " I know there is an empty part of me that wants to be filled

up

> or titilated. Is it an addiction?

> I wanted to share these thoughts with you because you are so

> elequent and thoughtful. I hope you can read this long paragraph.

> You can answer me whenever you feel better. Love to you, Randy.

Lilka

>