Guest guest Posted June 13, 2006 Report Share Posted June 13, 2006 Robynn, I want to thank you for this. I put it into Word and then printed it out. This is exactly what I needed. I have been doing this process since 8/2004. I went to another orientation 10/05. I still need to lose 30 pounds to get to surgery. I have not been following it very well and I feel it is because of fear. After reading your post it made me realize this. I am going to start thinking in another frame of mind. Thank you again for waking me up. I am printing it out and going to hang it around my house and at work so I can read it often. Vicki from Suisun.Pamela A Marsh wrote: Robynn, this was wonderful and thank you for puttingthis into words. Love you girlie. You are trulybeautiful on all accounts.Pam Marsh--- Robynn VanPatten <robynnsf (AT) sbcglobal (DOT) net> wrote:> Amen, Randy. I guess I just always took the, "Ok,> this is MY process, and this is the route that my> process is taking." I trust my medical staff to> know what is best for me. Yes, losing the 10> percent was tough. Yes, I felt a lot of stress> trying to make sure I wasn't up even one little lb.> the day of surgery. Yes, I felt sorry for myself> sometimes. > > I wound up havnig two psych exams, because> Richmond brought on their own specialist. Others> didn't have to do that. Some people had to go> through a more extensive lifestyles class than I> did, because they started seeing that people were> having difficulty sticking to the guidelines.> > I guess here is the way I see it: this surgery,> medical knowledge, anecdotal knowledge, and> individuals themselves are always evolving and> changing. As the different Kaiser programs learn> more, experience different things...they start> adding new steps to the program. I don't view it as> an impediment...rather, I view it as a sturdier> ladder that they are creating for us to make a> successful climb to success.> > Folks at SSF don't always have to lose 10%, it> depends upon the person. On the other hand, they> have a follow up class every week that's more> extensive. Kaiser leaves care, for the most part,> in the hands of doctors. THat's why there are some> variances from program to program. Dr. Fisher has> been doing this a long time, and he has some pretty> strong ideas about which patients are the most> successful and why. So, how can some other doctor> dictate another protocol to him, when he doesn't> feel convinced that it is the best route to take,> based upon his own training and experience?> > Oftentimes, the "child" part of our personalities> get all riled up when somebody tells us what to do,> how to do something, when to do it. We always think> we know what is best for us.> > I'm not advocating that one blindly put one's> health into the hands of a doctor. On the other> hand, if we were such flipping experts, why are we> MORBIDLY OBESE. The bottom line: we don't know> better. We just don't. And letting go, and> listening and learning...well, I think that's an> important step to take in our process. It's that> cutting our noses off to spite our faces attitudes> that got us into this position in the first place. > ("He doesn't like me. He thinks I'm fat. I'll show> him...give me some cookies and ice cream so I can> drown my sorrows..").> > I don't mean to be rude, and I absolutely think> that we all need to be our own advocates to make> sure we don't fall through the cracks, and to make> sure our doctors know everything they need to know> in order to help us. > > But, part of maturity is learning to accept that> we don't always have all of the answers. > > My process took a while, although I was put on a> fast track for certain medical reasons. But, I had> to lose 26.5 lbs. I got accepted at the end of> November, I think. I had my surgery 6/08/06 (one> year ago today.) It took me a little over six> months to get that weight off.> > But you know what? That six months was an> important time. I got frustrated at my lack of> progress, but I learned to quit blaming everybody> else. Instead, I realized that maybe I was blocking> my own process because of fear. Or because of> unresolved issues that I needed to delve into. I> used that time productively. I got back into a> steady exercise routine, and I learned to enjoy the> PROCESS. It wasn't just a means to an end...it was> a journey. > > I did a lot of writing, talking to others on the> board, listening to those who had been successful. > I listened to the folks who struggled emotionally> with coming to grips with their new bodies> afterwards. I gave it all a lot of thought.> > By the time my surgery came, I was ready to change> my life...with all that such change requires of me. > I'm not a military disciplinary kind of person. So,> I adjust here and there...eat more one day, cut back> the next...eat crap one meal, make sure I get> nutrition in me from the next one. Slack a few> days, make sure I diligently get back on the> exercise wagon the next couple of days. > > It's about balance. It's about figuring out why> you let yourself get so out of control in the first> place. It's about figuring out who you are, what> your boundaries are, what your triggers are. It's> about learning to love yourself. It's about working> with your support system and the people who love you> most. I asked my loved ones, "Look, what behaviours> have you seen in me that you think might contribute> to my obesity?" The answers were hard to hear, but> bless these people for talking turkey to me.> > I spent the time watching my skinny friends. > Realizing that they couldn't honestly eat anything> they wanted all of the time with no worries about> gaining. NO. There were many times when they took> one bite of dessert, and that was all. Or, heaven> forbid, they didn't order dessert because they were> full...or they had elected a fattening entree. I> heard things (for the first time, because i hadn't> paid close attention before), "hmmm...I think I'm> going to get a salad, because I'm wanting to have a> dessert tonight." I noticed that they didn't scarf> down all of the bread. I noticed that if they did> eat a lot, they made a commitment to eat less the> next few days, and they exercised an extra amount.> > I hear people say post surgery that after the> initial honeymoon is over, they feel like they have> to diet every day of their lives. I think that's> not a very good way to look at it, because it makes> you feel resentful and deprived. The reality is> that post honeymoon period...you are NORMAL. And as> a normal person, without as much of an advantage> because maybe your tummy has healed up a bit, and> has stretched a bit...and maybe your intestines have> healed and are absorbing more calories..., you need> to watch what you eat. Everybody does. EVERYBODY> DOES>> > I used to think that relatively thin people were> just showing off and trying to make me feel bad when> they talked about feeling bloated, or needing to run> 5 miles...or whatever.> > But now I am a thin person, and I know what they> are saying. When you wear a size 8, you only need> to gain 3 or 4 lbs, and you might be wearing a 10. > Thus, if you overeat for a day or two...you are> really uncomfortable. It's easier to monitor your> weight in terms or 1 or 2 or 3 lbs., rather than> waiting until you are struggling with 10 lbs or more> to lose.> > And so, after I eat too much...I realize I need to> modify my behaviour for a bit. More exercise. More> water. More protein. More vitamins. > > Just like a normal person.> > But, it took me some good, reflective time during> my pre-surgery weightloss for me to really GET that.> > > And so now, I don't feel upset about this> "dieting". I don't think of it as a diet. It's> just my life. It's the way I keep my weight under> control. Just like all of the thin chicks in the> Marina who are out walking or running every a.m.> > So...relish this time pre-surgery. Use it to find> equilibrium...to make a plan...to come to peace with> yourself. It will prepare you for the rest of the> journey. And maybe, just maybe...when you feel that> your path is taking a different direction than> someone at one of the other Kaiser's, or not at> Kiaser at all, you will breathe deeply and realize> that this is YOUR path, and YOUR path only...and> maybe, this is exactly the direction you need to be> taking at this point.> > Food for thought.> > Robynn> 5'6"> Surgery date 6/8/05> Highest weight: 261.5> Pre-surgery: 235.5> Current: 155 (been there since January. Happy to> stay here, but wouldn't mind losing another 10 or 15> lbs.)> Size: 8> Age: 42> > jackpoint_94401 <justinfoote45th (AT) yahoo (DOT) com> wrote:> > > I'm grateful that I got someone nice who explained> it well, just > wish > > Kaiser could stay consistant and have the process> for everyone be > === message truncated ===__________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 I'm glad you find it helpful. Good luck on your journey. Don't be afraid to dig deep...it's the best way to get the answers. Robynn --- Young wrote: > Robynn, I want to thank you for this. I put it into > Word and then printed it out. This is exactly what I > needed. I have been doing this process since 8/2004. > I went to another orientation 10/05. I still need to > lose 30 pounds to get to surgery. I have not been > following it very well and I feel it is because of > fear. After reading your post it made me realize > this. I am going to start thinking in another frame > of mind. Thank you again for waking me up. I am > printing it out and going to hang it around my house > and at work so I can read it often. > Vicki from Suisun. > > Pamela A Marsh wrote: > Robynn, this was wonderful and thank you > for putting > this into words. Love you girlie. You are truly > beautiful on all accounts. > > Pam Marsh > > --- Robynn VanPatten wrote: > > > Amen, Randy. I guess I just always took the, " Ok, > > this is MY process, and this is the route that my > > process is taking. " I trust my medical staff to > > know what is best for me. Yes, losing the 10 > > percent was tough. Yes, I felt a lot of stress > > trying to make sure I wasn't up even one little > lb. > > the day of surgery. Yes, I felt sorry for myself > > sometimes. > > > > I wound up havnig two psych exams, because > > Richmond brought on their own specialist. Others > > didn't have to do that. Some people had to go > > through a more extensive lifestyles class than I > > did, because they started seeing that people were > > having difficulty sticking to the guidelines. > > > > I guess here is the way I see it: this surgery, > > medical knowledge, anecdotal knowledge, and > > individuals themselves are always evolving and > > changing. As the different Kaiser programs learn > > more, experience different things...they start > > adding new steps to the program. I don't view it > as > > an impediment...rather, I view it as a sturdier > > ladder that they are creating for us to make a > > successful climb to success. > > > > Folks at SSF don't always have to lose 10%, it > > depends upon the person. On the other hand, they > > have a follow up class every week that's more > > extensive. Kaiser leaves care, for the most part, > > in the hands of doctors. THat's why there are some > > variances from program to program. Dr. Fisher has > > been doing this a long time, and he has some > pretty > > strong ideas about which patients are the most > > successful and why. So, how can some other doctor > > dictate another protocol to him, when he doesn't > > feel convinced that it is the best route to take, > > based upon his own training and experience? > > > > Oftentimes, the " child " part of our personalities > > get all riled up when somebody tells us what to > do, > > how to do something, when to do it. We always > think > > we know what is best for us. > > > > I'm not advocating that one blindly put one's > > health into the hands of a doctor. On the other > > hand, if we were such flipping experts, why are we > > MORBIDLY OBESE. The bottom line: we don't know > > better. We just don't. And letting go, and > > listening and learning...well, I think that's an > > important step to take in our process. It's that > > cutting our noses off to spite our faces attitudes > > that got us into this position in the first place. > > > ( " He doesn't like me. He thinks I'm fat. I'll show > > him...give me some cookies and ice cream so I can > > drown my sorrows.. " ). > > > > I don't mean to be rude, and I absolutely think > > that we all need to be our own advocates to make > > sure we don't fall through the cracks, and to make > > sure our doctors know everything they need to know > > in order to help us. > > > > But, part of maturity is learning to accept that > > we don't always have all of the answers. > > > > My process took a while, although I was put on a > > fast track for certain medical reasons. But, I had > > to lose 26.5 lbs. I got accepted at the end of > > November, I think. I had my surgery 6/08/06 (one > > year ago today.) It took me a little over six > > months to get that weight off. > > > > But you know what? That six months was an > > important time. I got frustrated at my lack of > > progress, but I learned to quit blaming everybody > > else. Instead, I realized that maybe I was > blocking > > my own process because of fear. Or because of > > unresolved issues that I needed to delve into. I > > used that time productively. I got back into a > > steady exercise routine, and I learned to enjoy > the > > PROCESS. It wasn't just a means to an end...it was > > a journey. > > > > I did a lot of writing, talking to others on the > > board, listening to those who had been successful. > > > I listened to the folks who struggled emotionally > > with coming to grips with their new bodies > > afterwards. I gave it all a lot of thought. > > > > By the time my surgery came, I was ready to change > > my life...with all that such change requires of > me. > > I'm not a military disciplinary kind of person. > So, > > I adjust here and there...eat more one day, cut > back > > the next...eat crap one meal, make sure I get > > nutrition in me from the next one. Slack a few > > days, make sure I diligently get back on the > > exercise wagon the next couple of days. > > > > It's about balance. It's about figuring out why > > you let yourself get so out of control in the > first > > place. It's about figuring out who you are, what > > your boundaries are, what your triggers are. It's > > about learning to love yourself. It's about > working > > with your support system and the people who love > you > > most. I asked my loved ones, " Look, what > behaviours > > have you seen in me that you think might > contribute > > to my obesity? " The answers were hard to hear, but > > bless these people for talking turkey to me. > > > > I spent the time watching my skinny friends. > > Realizing that they couldn't honestly eat anything > > they wanted all of the time with no worries about > > gaining. NO. There were many times when they took > > one bite of dessert, and that was all. Or, heaven > > forbid, they didn't order dessert because they > were > > full...or they had elected a fattening entree. I > > heard things (for the first time, because i hadn't > > paid close attention before), " hmmm...I think I'm > > going to get a salad, because I'm wanting to have > a > > dessert tonight. " I noticed that they didn't scarf > > down all of the bread. I noticed that if they did > > eat a lot, they made a commitment to eat less the > > next few days, and they exercised an extra amount. > > > > I hear people say post surgery that after the > > initial honeymoon is over, they feel like they > have > > to diet every day of their lives. I think that's > > not a very good way to look at it, because it > makes > > you feel resentful and deprived. The reality is > > that post honeymoon period...you are NORMAL. And > as > > a normal person, without as much of an advantage > > because maybe your tummy has healed up a bit, and > > has stretched a bit...and maybe your intestines > have > > healed and are absorbing more calories..., you > need > > to watch what you eat. Everybody does. EVERYBODY > > DOES> > > > > I used to think that relatively thin people were > > just showing off and trying to make me feel bad > when > > they talked about feeling bloated, or needing to > run > > 5 miles...or whatever. > > > > But now I am a thin person, and I know what they > > are saying. When you wear a size 8, you only need > > to gain 3 or 4 lbs, and you might be wearing a 10. > > > Thus, if you overeat for a day or two...you are > > really uncomfortable. It's easier to monitor your > > weight in terms or 1 or 2 or 3 lbs., rather than > > waiting until you are struggling with 10 lbs or > more > === message truncated === Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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