Re: off topic, ignorant neighbors

[Guest guest]

people always fear what they find different...what a bland world it would

be if we were all exactly the same...my advice is advice that was given to

myself...give her the autism web address and let her read up on it...the

person who gave me this advice also carries with her business cards with the

asa web address on it and hands them out freely to anyone who ignorantly

looks disaprovingly on her children. this is a little extreme in my

opinion but i'm sure effective.

[Guest guest]

I second that vote, Kathy.

Janelle

[Guest guest]

Why dont you try to educate her a little better-explain how autism is a wide

spectrum-no two children with autism are exactly alike. Puberty sets off a

wild rage of hormones for ANY child-it does not mean they will commit

crimes-but they may become a bit more challenging to manage with or without

Autism. You could also remind her of laws regaurding slander-she is not

speaking truth but rumor and lies. But since my gut tells me she speaks from

fear-educating her with more reasonable factual information on ASD may

actually help. She may even be shocked enough that you are aware of what she

has been saying to knock it off. In my life experience people fear what they

do not understand. I hope you will be able to help her be a little less

ignorant on the subject.F

off topic, ignorant neighbors

> Does anyone have a good letter to give an ignorant parent who is spreading

> rumors that she is afraid of my 9 yr. old son who has autism. She is

> telling neighbors she was a Kindergarten teacher and knows about autism.

She

> tells others that when autistic boys reach puberty they commit sexual

> assaults and she has heard of one stabbing another boy to death. He knows

> she has good videos that are not locked up. He has tried to open her door

> and she called the police. I am so horrified by this. Thanks in advance

for

> input.

>

> a

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Well I don't know if you will like this, but I am an attorney and I

have worked both in disability law and criminal law, so I will give

you my information.

> Does anyone have a good letter to give an ignorant parent who is

spreading

> rumors that she is afraid of my 9 yr. old son who has autism.

If she is truly afraid of your son, then it would not be a rumor for

her to tell other she is afraid of him. However, she may just be

malicious, I don't know that.

She

is

> telling neighbors she was a Kindergarten teacher and knows about

autism. She

> tells others that when autistic boys reach puberty they commit

sexual

> assaults and she has heard of one stabbing another boy to death.

If she *WAS* a K teacher, then perhaps her knowledge of autism is

outdated. If you have a decent speaking relationship with her, or if

you want to do it another way, you can give her information on dietary

intervention, maybe Karyn's book or something shorter like the Parents

Mag article, to indicate it is not the hopeless condition it once was

considered. But she is technically correct, I have also heard of

autistic boys reaching puberty and doing the things you mention here.

I would question her motivation for telling others these things tho,

is she the neighborhood gossip? Does she have " something against you "

besides your son? Is she a rambling old lady? Or is she just simply

truly afraid of your son?

He

knows

> she has good videos that are not locked up. He has tried to open

her door

> and she called the police. I am so horrified by this.

I don't know what state you are in, but in most states, your child can

be committed to juvenile court at age 10 for trespass or other crimes.

You do need to address this with your son. Was he aware that

entering another person's house is not acceptable? Did he do this

maliciously, to steal the videos, or innocently because he likes them?

At age 10 in most states, he can be detained for 72 hours in

juvenile detention OR a psych hospital, without your consent, even for

minor trespass violations done innocently, especially if he has a

pattern of this behavior or is aggressive. He can be removed from

your home, put on medication without your consent, put on probation,

receive a " record " which will stay with him until he is age 18 or 25,

depending on your state. Is he verbal? How is he progressing with

this diet?

Thanks in

advance for

> input.

In addition to the information I wrote above, I would suggest [unless

your son is aggressive or prone to outbursts, in which case this might

backfire on you], that you don't approach this neighbor directly

[except perhaps with diet information] but approach the OTHER

neighbors, bring your son with you, and introduce him, let people know

he wants to be friendly but sometimes does not know how, maybe bring

some gfcf cookies and tell people about how foods affect him, and how

much improved he is with diet and other interventions. Or

alternatively you can tell people that you are trying to teach him

some responsibility etc, and can you and he together wash their car or

something, where you will be there to supervise him so they know you

are there with him so he will not destroy their property, but they can

also watch him and see how he reacts to you and to their property etc.

This way, whatever the other neighbor says, everyone else will have

met your son and know a little about him, so they will have personal

experience with him and not just the second-hand information from the

other neighbor. They will make their own decisions.

Also, if/when the next time the police are called out for something

regarding your son, even if not called by this neighbor, print out

relevant information from these sites and give to the officer/s who

respond to the call, and let them know you are working with your son

and not ignoring these types of behaviors, but that you want all the

officers serving your neighborhood to know he does have a disability,

and you want to work with them for cooperation and hope they can

understand more about your son and his disability. The more you have

open communication with your police officers, the better are your

chances that no serious police interventions will occur without

consulting with you first.

http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Lobby/9200/essent2.html

http://policeandautism.cjb.net/

Sorry, probably not what you wanted to hear, but your son is age 9, so

I thought I would give you this information. I hope it is helpful to

you.

Dana