Re: Re: [NSMods] from Rose

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much Racie Tracie. The weird thing is that I have also been avoiding some other people. I'm on the board of a local counselling center & haven't been to a meeting in over a year. I kept thinking that I needed to send an actual resignation letter, but felt too guilty to do it. Then I ran into the director of the center in WalMart--today--and he was very gracious about it. I actually tried to avoid him, but he spotted me! It's amazing how stressful the avoidance guilt was; I didn't realize it until I sent the letter to y'all & talked to him today.

Ramblin' RoseModerator A merry heart is good medicine. Proverbs 17:22

To: NSMods ; neurosarcoidosis From: tiodaat2001@...Date: Sat, 24 Apr 2010 13:22:43 -0700Subject: Re: [NSMods] from Rose

Rose,

You know how much I love you, and appreciate whatever you can do when ever you can do it. More than anything else, it's your loving humor that I miss the most.

I don't care how much you can or can't do-- it's all ok. It has to be. If we don't take care of ourself first, we're not able to help anyone else-- and we do crash and burn.

DO NOT GUILT YOURSELF OUT BECUASE YOU CAN'T BE HERE. DO NOT DO IT. WE AREN'T-- AND I REFUSE TO JOIN THE GUILT SOMEONE OUT CLUB... if I did, I'd have to become the bottom topdog of it-- and it's not gonna happen. LOL!

All of us love you-- and miss you and we do get it-- there is just so much of each of us to share.

If I could reach thru this computer and wrap my arms around you, and we could hug each other and hold each other up, you know I'd be doing that right now. In fact, in my virtual world, that is what I'm doing right now. So girlfriend, feel the love!

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

To: neurosarcoidosis ; nsmods Sent: Fri, April 23, 2010 7:24:01 PMSubject: [NSMods] from Rose

Hi to everybody, especially the newbies (new to me; I guess some of you have been here quite awhile). For those who don't know me, I'm supposed to be one of the moderators. For the past few months, I have been absent from the list. Before that I would periodically go AWOL. I feel bad, because physically I'm doing pretty well. I've just been struggling-- not very successfully- -mentally, emotionally, spiritually. These last few months I've started to reactivate myself, so to speak, but would then remember how many times I've done that before, only to slip-slide away again. So I told myself that I wouldn't return until I had it together & could commit to being a full-fledged moderator. But I've never gotten it together. I met with my counsellor this week & talked about it. She suggested that I just do what I can, without making any specific commitments. That's what I'd like to do. I know how much everyone else is struggling, and God bless Tracie, she needs & deserves more folks to share the burden. So rather than continue this all or nothing behavior, I'm hoping you all (especially the other moderators) will accept what I can give, for now & who knows how long. Some of you may be saying, "Just suck it up," and I don't blame you. I did suck it up & do what I had to do for so many years; I guess my suck it up-per burned out. But this group was such a blessing & lifesaver for me that I want to give back. I have knowledge & experience to share, things to learn from others & I miss the support & camaraderie (sp?) of the group. I'll get on when I can; sometimes I go days without even using the computer or even thinking about email, etc. Then I'll find I can kick it in gear, get on Facebook or something, take my dogs or grandkids somewhere, whatever. The problem with the group is the emotional drain. Most days I just feel emotionally empty. I've never experienced this degree of emptiness before; don't know why or how to improve the situation. All my usual coping strategies aren't helping. Maybe it's some kind of challenge or test. Whatever, I hope this makes sense to y'all, and if it doesn't make sense, please just accept that I'm doing as well as I can right now.

Ramblin' RoseModerator

Hotmail has tools for the New Busy. Search, chat and e-mail from your inbox. Learn more.

The New Busy is not the too busy. Combine all your e-mail accounts with Hotmail. Get busy.

[Guest guest]

Girlfriend, the power of screwing with our own minds is the most destructive thing we can do. So many times I've played the tapes of the "would have, could have, must do, can do, don't wanna do" only to find out that others feel the same way.

When we finally decide to put our cards on the table-- we realize that we aren't alone, and that there is a team of people willing to help us find our pieces.

Remember the duck story, you know-- the one about getting all your ducks in a row, only to realize that the duck hunters are out there-- and that the ducks have to turn into barking dogs and you can only hope one doesn't raise it's leg while standing next to you...

I'm sure there's a moral there somewhere....

Love ya,

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

To: neurosarcoidosis Sent: Sat, April 24, 2010 2:21:59 PMSubject: RE: Re: [NSMods] from Rose

Thank you so much Racie Tracie. The weird thing is that I have also been avoiding some other people. I'm on the board of a local counselling center & haven't been to a meeting in over a year. I kept thinking that I needed to send an actual resignation letter, but felt too guilty to do it. Then I ran into the director of the center in WalMart--today- -and he was very gracious about it. I actually tried to avoid him, but he spotted me! It's amazing how stressful the avoidance guilt was; I didn't realize it until I sent the letter to y'all & talked to him today.

Ramblin' RoseModerator A merry heart is good medicine. Proverbs 17:22

To: NSMods (AT) yahoogroups (DOT) com; neurosarcoidosis@ yahoogroups. comFrom: tiodaat2001@ yahoo.comDate: Sat, 24 Apr 2010 13:22:43 -0700Subject: Re: [NSMods] from Rose

Rose,

You know how much I love you, and appreciate whatever you can do when ever you can do it. More than anything else, it's your loving humor that I miss the most.

I don't care how much you can or can't do-- it's all ok. It has to be. If we don't take care of ourself first, we're not able to help anyone else-- and we do crash and burn.

DO NOT GUILT YOURSELF OUT BECUASE YOU CAN'T BE HERE. DO NOT DO IT. WE AREN'T-- AND I REFUSE TO JOIN THE GUILT SOMEONE OUT CLUB... if I did, I'd have to become the bottom topdog of it-- and it's not gonna happen. LOL!

All of us love you-- and miss you and we do get it-- there is just so much of each of us to share.

If I could reach thru this computer and wrap my arms around you, and we could hug each other and hold each other up, you know I'd be doing that right now. In fact, in my virtual world, that is what I'm doing right now. So girlfriend, feel the love!

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

From: Rose <mamadogrose@ hotmail.com>To: neurosarcoidosis@ yahoogroups. com; nsmods (AT) yahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Fri, April 23, 2010 7:24:01 PMSubject: [NSMods] from Rose Hi to everybody, especially the newbies (new to me; I guess some of you have been here quite awhile). For those who don't know me, I'm supposed to be one of the moderators. For the past few months, I have been absent from the list. Before that I would periodically go AWOL. I feel bad, because physically I'm doing pretty well. I've just been struggling-- not very successfully- -mentally, emotionally, spiritually. These last few months I've started to reactivate myself, so to speak, but would then remember how many times I've done that before, only to slip-slide away again. So I told myself that I wouldn't return until I had it together & could commit to being a full-fledged moderator. But I've never gotten it together. I met with my counsellor this week & talked about it. She suggested that I just do what I can, without making any specific commitments. That's

what I'd like to do. I know how much everyone else is struggling, and God bless Tracie, she needs & deserves more folks to share the burden. So rather than continue this all or nothing behavior, I'm hoping you all (especially the other moderators) will accept what I can give, for now & who knows how long. Some of you may be saying, "Just suck it up," and I don't blame you. I did suck it up & do what I had to do for so many years; I guess my suck it up-per burned out. But this group was such a blessing & lifesaver for me that I want to give back. I have knowledge & experience to share, things to learn from others & I miss the support & camaraderie (sp?) of the group. I'll get on when I can; sometimes I go days without even using the computer or even thinking about email, etc. Then I'll find I can kick it in gear, get on Facebook or something, take my dogs or

grandkids somewhere, whatever. The problem with the group is the emotional drain. Most days I just feel emotionally empty. I've never experienced this degree of emptiness before; don't know why or how to improve the situation. All my usual coping strategies aren't helping. Maybe it's some kind of challenge or test. Whatever, I hope this makes sense to y'all, and if it doesn't make sense, please just accept that I'm doing as well as I can right now.

Ramblin' RoseModerator

Hotmail has tools for the New Busy. Search, chat and e-mail from your inbox. Learn more.

The New Busy is not the too busy. Combine all your e-mail accounts with Hotmail. Get busy.

[Guest guest]

I read a news article today about the rise in military suicides. A platoon sergeant said that some people don't like the increased attention to PTSD & other problems, "touchy-feely Army stuff." "The old Army tells you to suck it up, rub some dirt on it & you'll be fine." I didn't know about the dirt or I might have tried it! RoseA merry heart is good medicine. Proverbs 17:22

To: Neurosarcoidosis From: tiodaat2001@...Date: Sun, 25 Apr 2010 17:56:30 -0700Subject: Re: Re: [NSMods] from Rose

Girlfriend, the power of screwing with our own minds is the most destructive thing we can do. So many times I've played the tapes of the "would have, could have, must do, can do, don't wanna do" only to find out that others feel the same way.

When we finally decide to put our cards on the table-- we realize that we aren't alone, and that there is a team of people willing to help us find our pieces.

Remember the duck story, you know-- the one about getting all your ducks in a row, only to realize that the duck hunters are out there-- and that the ducks have to turn into barking dogs and you can only hope one doesn't raise it's leg while standing next to you...

I'm sure there's a moral there somewhere....

Love ya,

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

To: neurosarcoidosis Sent: Sat, April 24, 2010 2:21:59 PMSubject: RE: Re: [NSMods] from Rose

Thank you so much Racie Tracie. The weird thing is that I have also been avoiding some other people. I'm on the board of a local counselling center & haven't been to a meeting in over a year. I kept thinking that I needed to send an actual resignation letter, but felt too guilty to do it. Then I ran into the director of the center in WalMart--today- -and he was very gracious about it. I actually tried to avoid him, but he spotted me! It's amazing how stressful the avoidance guilt was; I didn't realize it until I sent the letter to y'all & talked to him today.

Ramblin' RoseModerator A merry heart is good medicine. Proverbs 17:22

To: NSMods (AT) yahoogroups (DOT) com; neurosarcoidosis@ yahoogroups. comFrom: tiodaat2001@ yahoo.comDate: Sat, 24 Apr 2010 13:22:43 -0700Subject: Re: [NSMods] from Rose

Rose,

You know how much I love you, and appreciate whatever you can do when ever you can do it. More than anything else, it's your loving humor that I miss the most.

I don't care how much you can or can't do-- it's all ok. It has to be. If we don't take care of ourself first, we're not able to help anyone else-- and we do crash and burn.

DO NOT GUILT YOURSELF OUT BECUASE YOU CAN'T BE HERE. DO NOT DO IT. WE AREN'T-- AND I REFUSE TO JOIN THE GUILT SOMEONE OUT CLUB... if I did, I'd have to become the bottom topdog of it-- and it's not gonna happen. LOL!

All of us love you-- and miss you and we do get it-- there is just so much of each of us to share.

If I could reach thru this computer and wrap my arms around you, and we could hug each other and hold each other up, you know I'd be doing that right now. In fact, in my virtual world, that is what I'm doing right now. So girlfriend, feel the love!

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

From: Rose <mamadogrose@ hotmail.com>To: neurosarcoidosis@ yahoogroups. com; nsmods (AT) yahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Fri, April 23, 2010 7:24:01 PMSubject: [NSMods] from Rose Hi to everybody, especially the newbies (new to me; I guess some of you have been here quite awhile). For those who don't know me, I'm supposed to be one of the moderators. For the past few months, I have been absent from the list. Before that I would periodically go AWOL. I feel bad, because physically I'm doing pretty well. I've just been struggling-- not very successfully- -mentally, emotionally, spiritually. These last few months I've started to reactivate myself, so to speak, but would then remember how many times I've done that before, only to slip-slide away again. So I told myself that I wouldn't return until I had it together & could commit to being a full-fledged moderator. But I've never gotten it together. I met with my counsellor this week & talked about it. She suggested that I just do what I can, without making any specific commitments. That's what I'd like to do. I know how much everyone else is struggling, and God bless Tracie, she needs & deserves more folks to share the burden. So rather than continue this all or nothing behavior, I'm hoping you all (especially the other moderators) will accept what I can give, for now & who knows how long. Some of you may be saying, "Just suck it up," and I don't blame you. I did suck it up & do what I had to do for so many years; I guess my suck it up-per burned out. But this group was such a blessing & lifesaver for me that I want to give back. I have knowledge & experience to share, things to learn from others & I miss the support & camaraderie (sp?) of the group. I'll get on when I can; sometimes I go days without even using the computer or even thinking about email, etc. Then I'll find I can kick it in gear, get on Facebook or something, take my dogs or grandkids somewhere, whatever. The problem with the group is the emotional drain. Most days I just feel emotionally empty. I've never experienced this degree of emptiness before; don't know why or how to improve the situation. All my usual coping strategies aren't helping. Maybe it's some kind of challenge or test. Whatever, I hope this makes sense to y'all, and if it doesn't make sense, please just accept that I'm doing as well as I can right now.

Ramblin' RoseModerator

Hotmail has tools for the New Busy. Search, chat and e-mail from your inbox. Learn more.

The New Busy is not the too busy. Combine all your e-mail accounts with Hotmail. Get busy.

The New Busy think 9 to 5 is a cute idea. Combine multiple calendars with Hotmail. Get busy.

[Guest guest]

And my grandmother said that conception happened when you held your tongue a certain way????

To: neurosarcoidosis Sent: Sun, April 25, 2010 7:10:08 PMSubject: RE: Re: [NSMods] from Rose

I read a news article today about the rise in military suicides. A platoon sergeant said that some people don't like the increased attention to PTSD & other problems, "touchy-feely Army stuff." "The old Army tells you to suck it up, rub some dirt on it & you'll be fine." I didn't know about the dirt or I might have tried it! RoseA merry heart is good medicine. Proverbs 17:22

To: Neurosarcoidosis@ yahoogroups. comFrom: tiodaat2001@ yahoo.comDate: Sun, 25 Apr 2010 17:56:30 -0700Subject: Re: Re: [NSMods] from Rose

Girlfriend, the power of screwing with our own minds is the most destructive thing we can do. So many times I've played the tapes of the "would have, could have, must do, can do, don't wanna do" only to find out that others feel the same way.

When we finally decide to put our cards on the table-- we realize that we aren't alone, and that there is a team of people willing to help us find our pieces.

Remember the duck story, you know-- the one about getting all your ducks in a row, only to realize that the duck hunters are out there-- and that the ducks have to turn into barking dogs and you can only hope one doesn't raise it's leg while standing next to you...

I'm sure there's a moral there somewhere... .

Love ya,

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

From: Rose <mamadogrose@ hotmail.com>To: neurosarcoidosis@ yahoogroups. comSent: Sat, April 24, 2010 2:21:59 PMSubject: RE: Re: [NSMods] from Rose Thank you so much Racie Tracie. The weird thing is that I have also been avoiding some other people. I'm on the board of a local counselling center & haven't been to a meeting in over a year. I kept thinking that I needed to send an actual resignation letter, but felt too guilty to do it. Then I ran into the director of the center in WalMart--today- -and he was very gracious about it. I actually tried to avoid him, but he spotted me! It's amazing how stressful the avoidance guilt was; I didn't realize it until I sent the letter to y'all & talked to him today.

Ramblin' RoseModerator A merry heart is good medicine. Proverbs 17:22

To: NSMods (AT) yahoogroups (DOT) com; neurosarcoidosis@ yahoogroups. comFrom: tiodaat2001@ yahoo.comDate: Sat, 24 Apr 2010 13:22:43 -0700Subject: Re: [NSMods] from Rose

Rose,

You know how much I love you, and appreciate whatever you can do when ever you can do it. More than anything else, it's your loving humor that I miss the most.

I don't care how much you can or can't do-- it's all ok. It has to be. If we don't take care of ourself first, we're not able to help anyone else-- and we do crash and burn.

DO NOT GUILT YOURSELF OUT BECUASE YOU CAN'T BE HERE. DO NOT DO IT. WE AREN'T-- AND I REFUSE TO JOIN THE GUILT SOMEONE OUT CLUB... if I did, I'd have to become the bottom topdog of it-- and it's not gonna happen. LOL!

All of us love you-- and miss you and we do get it-- there is just so much of each of us to share.

If I could reach thru this computer and wrap my arms around you, and we could hug each other and hold each other up, you know I'd be doing that right now. In fact, in my virtual world, that is what I'm doing right now. So girlfriend, feel the love!

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

From: Rose <mamadogrose@ hotmail.com>To: neurosarcoidosis@ yahoogroups. com; nsmods (AT) yahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Fri, April 23, 2010 7:24:01 PMSubject: [NSMods] from Rose Hi to everybody, especially the newbies (new to me; I guess some of you have been here quite awhile). For those who don't know me, I'm supposed to be one of the moderators. For the past few months, I have been absent from the list. Before that I would periodically go AWOL. I feel bad, because physically I'm doing pretty well. I've just been struggling-- not very successfully- -mentally, emotionally, spiritually. These last few months I've started to reactivate myself, so to speak, but would then remember how many times I've done that before, only to slip-slide away again. So I told myself that I wouldn't return until I had it together & could commit to being a full-fledged moderator. But I've never gotten it together. I met with my counsellor this week & talked about it. She suggested that I just do what I can, without making any specific commitments. That's

what I'd like to do. I know how much everyone else is struggling, and God bless Tracie, she needs & deserves more folks to share the burden. So rather than continue this all or nothing behavior, I'm hoping you all (especially the other moderators) will accept what I can give, for now & who knows how long. Some of you may be saying, "Just suck it up," and I don't blame you. I did suck it up & do what I had to do for so many years; I guess my suck it up-per burned out. But this group was such a blessing & lifesaver for me that I want to give back. I have knowledge & experience to share, things to learn from others & I miss the support & camaraderie (sp?) of the group. I'll get on when I can; sometimes I go days without even using the computer or even thinking about email, etc. Then I'll find I can kick it in gear, get on Facebook or something, take my dogs or

grandkids somewhere, whatever. The problem with the group is the emotional drain. Most days I just feel emotionally empty. I've never experienced this degree of emptiness before; don't know why or how to improve the situation. All my usual coping strategies aren't helping. Maybe it's some kind of challenge or test. Whatever, I hope this makes sense to y'all, and if it doesn't make sense, please just accept that I'm doing as well as I can right now.

Ramblin' RoseModerator

Hotmail has tools for the New Busy. Search, chat and e-mail from your inbox. Learn more.

The New Busy is not the too busy. Combine all your e-mail accounts with Hotmail. Get busy.

The New Busy think 9 to 5 is a cute idea. Combine multiple calendars with Hotmail. Get busy.

[Guest guest]

That's actually true. I'm a midwife, remember.

To: Neurosarcoidosis From: tiodaat2001@...Date: Sun, 25 Apr 2010 23:33:24 -0700Subject: Re: Re: [NSMods] from Rose

And my grandmother said that conception happened when you held your tongue a certain way????

To: neurosarcoidosis Sent: Sun, April 25, 2010 7:10:08 PMSubject: RE: Re: [NSMods] from Rose

I read a news article today about the rise in military suicides. A platoon sergeant said that some people don't like the increased attention to PTSD & other problems, "touchy-feely Army stuff." "The old Army tells you to suck it up, rub some dirt on it & you'll be fine." I didn't know about the dirt or I might have tried it! RoseA merry heart is good medicine. Proverbs 17:22

To: Neurosarcoidosis@ yahoogroups. comFrom: tiodaat2001@ yahoo.comDate: Sun, 25 Apr 2010 17:56:30 -0700Subject: Re: Re: [NSMods] from Rose

Girlfriend, the power of screwing with our own minds is the most destructive thing we can do. So many times I've played the tapes of the "would have, could have, must do, can do, don't wanna do" only to find out that others feel the same way.

When we finally decide to put our cards on the table-- we realize that we aren't alone, and that there is a team of people willing to help us find our pieces.

Remember the duck story, you know-- the one about getting all your ducks in a row, only to realize that the duck hunters are out there-- and that the ducks have to turn into barking dogs and you can only hope one doesn't raise it's leg while standing next to you...

I'm sure there's a moral there somewhere... .

Love ya,

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

From: Rose <mamadogrose@ hotmail.com>To: neurosarcoidosis@ yahoogroups. comSent: Sat, April 24, 2010 2:21:59 PMSubject: RE: Re: [NSMods] from Rose Thank you so much Racie Tracie. The weird thing is that I have also been avoiding some other people. I'm on the board of a local counselling center & haven't been to a meeting in over a year. I kept thinking that I needed to send an actual resignation letter, but felt too guilty to do it. Then I ran into the director of the center in WalMart--today- -and he was very gracious about it. I actually tried to avoid him, but he spotted me! It's amazing how stressful the avoidance guilt was; I didn't realize it until I sent the letter to y'all & talked to him today.

Ramblin' RoseModerator A merry heart is good medicine. Proverbs 17:22

To: NSMods (AT) yahoogroups (DOT) com; neurosarcoidosis@ yahoogroups. comFrom: tiodaat2001@ yahoo.comDate: Sat, 24 Apr 2010 13:22:43 -0700Subject: Re: [NSMods] from Rose

Rose,

You know how much I love you, and appreciate whatever you can do when ever you can do it. More than anything else, it's your loving humor that I miss the most.

I don't care how much you can or can't do-- it's all ok. It has to be. If we don't take care of ourself first, we're not able to help anyone else-- and we do crash and burn.

DO NOT GUILT YOURSELF OUT BECUASE YOU CAN'T BE HERE. DO NOT DO IT. WE AREN'T-- AND I REFUSE TO JOIN THE GUILT SOMEONE OUT CLUB... if I did, I'd have to become the bottom topdog of it-- and it's not gonna happen. LOL!

All of us love you-- and miss you and we do get it-- there is just so much of each of us to share.

If I could reach thru this computer and wrap my arms around you, and we could hug each other and hold each other up, you know I'd be doing that right now. In fact, in my virtual world, that is what I'm doing right now. So girlfriend, feel the love!

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

From: Rose <mamadogrose@ hotmail.com>To: neurosarcoidosis@ yahoogroups. com; nsmods (AT) yahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Fri, April 23, 2010 7:24:01 PMSubject: [NSMods] from Rose Hi to everybody, especially the newbies (new to me; I guess some of you have been here quite awhile). For those who don't know me, I'm supposed to be one of the moderators. For the past few months, I have been absent from the list. Before that I would periodically go AWOL. I feel bad, because physically I'm doing pretty well. I've just been struggling-- not very successfully- -mentally, emotionally, spiritually. These last few months I've started to reactivate myself, so to speak, but would then remember how many times I've done that before, only to slip-slide away again. So I told myself that I wouldn't return until I had it together & could commit to being a full-fledged moderator. But I've never gotten it together. I met with my counsellor this week & talked about it. She suggested that I just do what I can, without making any specific commitments. That's what I'd like to do. I know how much everyone else is struggling, and God bless Tracie, she needs & deserves more folks to share the burden. So rather than continue this all or nothing behavior, I'm hoping you all (especially the other moderators) will accept what I can give, for now & who knows how long. Some of you may be saying, "Just suck it up," and I don't blame you. I did suck it up & do what I had to do for so many years; I guess my suck it up-per burned out. But this group was such a blessing & lifesaver for me that I want to give back. I have knowledge & experience to share, things to learn from others & I miss the support & camaraderie (sp?) of the group. I'll get on when I can; sometimes I go days without even using the computer or even thinking about email, etc. Then I'll find I can kick it in gear, get on Facebook or something, take my dogs or grandkids somewhere, whatever. The problem with the group is the emotional drain. Most days I just feel emotionally empty. I've never experienced this degree of emptiness before; don't know why or how to improve the situation. All my usual coping strategies aren't helping. Maybe it's some kind of challenge or test. Whatever, I hope this makes sense to y'all, and if it doesn't make sense, please just accept that I'm doing as well as I can right now.

Ramblin' RoseModerator

Hotmail has tools for the New Busy. Search, chat and e-mail from your inbox. Learn more.

The New Busy is not the too busy. Combine all your e-mail accounts with Hotmail. Get busy.

The New Busy think 9 to 5 is a cute idea. Combine multiple calendars with Hotmail. Get busy.

The New Busy is not the too busy. Combine all your e-mail accounts with Hotmail. Get busy.