Re: How much should you tell?

[Guest guest]

I know that you are right when you say that I should not postpone

this for anyone else, especially some guy that I haven't known very

long, but it doesn't make me any less nervous about what will happen

when I get them on. I know that I need to get them on to get

things going, so maybe I will follow the advice of the other people

who responded to this post and just not give him all the details of

what is to come. I also think that if he really does have a big

problem with the braces enough to quit seeing me, then he's probably

not even worth it in the long run. It's just been awhile since I

have met someone like him that I really clicked with and it seems too

good to be true. Sappy, I know. I do agree with what you are

saying though, that everything will fall into place and I do think

the best thing would be to go ahead with the braces as scheduled.

Timing just stinks! When I initially started planning all of this, I

was not seeing anyone so the decision to go ahead and do it came very

easily. Then because of circumstances out of my control it was

delayed which is why I am so uncertain about doing it now. I could

also very well be making a much bigger deal out of this than it even

is too.

> > > >

> > > > I have a personal question to ask related to this entire

> > process.

> > > I

> > > > will be getting my braces on in a month or so and then

> eventually

> > > > having upper and lower surgery to correct an underbite. I

was

> > > hoping

> > > > to already have the braces on, but had to delay it a little

> bit

> > > due

> > > > to needing dental work first.

> > > >

> > > > Here's where my question comes in...I just recently started

> > dating

> > > > someone I was set up with. We don't know each other very

well

> > > yet,

> > > > but so far we have hit it off and have a lot in common.

> Because

> > > we

> > > > have not known each other very long, I have not told him

> anything

> > > > about the braces/surgery. I am actually a little nervous

> about

> > > > telling him because I am afraid it will overwhelm him. It

> would

> > > be

> > > > different if we had been friends for awhile first or

> something.

> > > When

> > > > I get my braces on in a month, he is obviously going to

> > > notice.

> > > > My question is, How much should I tell him or not tell him?

> > Also,

> > > > has anyone else been in a situation similar to mine and how

> did

> > > you

> > > > handle it?

[Guest guest]

your story is not sappy... it's actually kinda sweet... if this guy

only knew how much you cared about him to delay the braces....

you have to do what you're comfortable with...

good luck and keep us posted!

> > > > >

> > > > > I have a personal question to ask related to this entire

> > > process.

> > > > I

> > > > > will be getting my braces on in a month or so and then

> > eventually

> > > > > having upper and lower surgery to correct an underbite. I

> was

> > > > hoping

> > > > > to already have the braces on, but had to delay it a

little

> > bit

> > > > due

> > > > > to needing dental work first.

> > > > >

> > > > > Here's where my question comes in...I just recently

started

> > > dating

> > > > > someone I was set up with. We don't know each other very

> well

> > > > yet,

> > > > > but so far we have hit it off and have a lot in common.

> > Because

> > > > we

> > > > > have not known each other very long, I have not told him

> > anything

> > > > > about the braces/surgery. I am actually a little nervous

> > about

> > > > > telling him because I am afraid it will overwhelm him. It

> > would

> > > > be

> > > > > different if we had been friends for awhile first or

> > something.

> > > > When

> > > > > I get my braces on in a month, he is obviously going to

> > > > notice.

> > > > > My question is, How much should I tell him or not tell

him?

> > > Also,

> > > > > has anyone else been in a situation similar to mine and

how

> > did

> > > > you

> > > > > handle it?

[Guest guest]

I could not agree more. I dated a lot with crooked teeth and so I

figured if these guys liked me and thought I was cute, what was the

point of fixing them? I was sooo nervous to get the braces on and so

sad because I thought they looked ugly. I will tell you something... in

retrospect- braces will never, ever look worse than visually bad teeth.

It honestly took about 6 months before I stopped thinking " I have

braces... they're looking at my braces " but at the same time I was

thinking " good, they know I take pride in my appearance and am

concientious (sp?) about correcting my teeth in the proper way. " ( I

would be more self-concious about awkward looking veneers than I have

ever felt about braces- and these are temporary) Most people could not

care less. Anyone who felt free to comment was either family or just

jerky human beings. Men - good looking men - did not stop being

interested in me (though I had a boyfriend, the positive reenforcement

I rec'd when out with friends was pretty clear) and as Zulu noted,

there are some men... not gross men and probably more than will admit

it... who have a thing for girls in braces... it reminds them of their

first crush or makes them feel young. Also, I'd bet if you'd have asked

my boyfriend before he met me if he'd date a girl with braces, he'd

have said no.... well look at that.... I guess sometimes people aren't

really as shallow as they think they are. Unfortunately, my boyfriend

is not one of those braces fetish guys and the both of us really are

ready to get these things off my teeth (it's been over 2 years) but

every penny of the $6,500 I spent for these braces was money well

spent. there is nothing better than feeling good about how you look

when you smile. And I say that while still wearing my braces. Even with

them, I smile wider and more sincerely than I did with my bad teeth.

Tova

>

>

>

>

> > > > >

> > > > > I have a personal question to ask related to this entire

> > > process. 

> > > > I

> > > > > will be getting my braces on in a month or so and then

> > eventually

> > > > > having upper and lower surgery to correct an underbite.  I

> was

> > > > hoping

> > > > > to already have the braces on, but had to delay it a little

> > bit

> > > > due

> > > > > to needing dental work first. 

> > > > >

> > > > > Here's where my question comes in...I just recently started

> > > dating

> > > > > someone I was set up with.  We don't know each other very

> well

> > > > yet,

> > > > > but so far we have hit it off and have a lot in common. 

> > Because

> > > > we

> > > > > have not known each other very long, I have not told him

> > anything

> > > > > about the braces/surgery.  I am actually a little nervous

> > about

> > > > > telling him because I am afraid it will overwhelm him.  It

> > would

> > > > be

> > > > > different if we had been friends for awhile first or

> > something. 

> > > > When

> > > > > I get my braces on in a month, he is obviously going to

> > > > notice.  

> > > > > My question is, How much should I tell him or not tell him? 

> > > Also,

> > > > > has anyone else been in a situation similar to mine and how

> > did

> > > > you

> > > > > handle it?

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

" it doesn't make me any less nervous about what will happen

when I get them on. "

Feeling nervous is absolutely OK, and perfectly natural as well.

However, I think it's a really good skill to learn to go ahead and

*DO* the things that make you nervous (well, within reason of

course!) despite the nervousness itself. After all, it's just a

feeling, like any other... it will pass. Don't let the discomfort of

nervousness hold you back. I'm older than you are (in my 30s --

ancient, hee hee!) and I let nervousness get in my way of doing a

fair number of things over the years -- some of which I definitely

regret.

Bottom line: if he's *Truly* worth your time and affection, the

braces won't be a big deal to him. And if they *are* a big deal to

him and he dumps you, you've learned some valuable information about

him really early on, and maybe saved yourself some greater heartbreak

down the road!

Best of luck,

Sara

>

> I know that you are right when you say that I should not postpone

> this for anyone else, especially some guy that I haven't known very

> long, but it doesn't make me any less nervous about what will

happen

> when I get them on. I know that I need to get them on to get

> things going, so maybe I will follow the advice of the other people

> who responded to this post and just not give him all the details of

> what is to come. I also think that if he really does have a big

> problem with the braces enough to quit seeing me, then he's

probably

> not even worth it in the long run. It's just been awhile since I

> have met someone like him that I really clicked with and it seems

too

> good to be true. Sappy, I know. I do agree with what you are

> saying though, that everything will fall into place and I do think

> the best thing would be to go ahead with the braces as scheduled.

> Timing just stinks! When I initially started planning all of this,

I

> was not seeing anyone so the decision to go ahead and do it came

very

> easily. Then because of circumstances out of my control it was

> delayed which is why I am so uncertain about doing it now. I could

> also very well be making a much bigger deal out of this than it

even

> is too.

>

>