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Re: Digest Number 2251

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In a message dated 5/4/03 8:06:35 AM, Graduate-OSSG writes:

<< finally we had a big blowup and she left, saying she was moving out. i

was kind of relieved, but then she came back in a week, saying she didn't

want to leave our home and missed me terribly, and could we try being

roommates?? i am exhausted and confused about what i really want, and i

would love to hear some feedback from other folks . . .

>>

I would venture, just my two cent's worth, that some couple's counseling to

sort out the REAL issues would be a good idea. You can love someone purely

and truly, and yet be all messed up over all your projections onto them and

your expectations from them. Too, there is the issue of some folk liking to

have a puppy with a gimpy leg. If the leg clears up, there is nowhere for

them to practive their comforting skills and they feel sad cause that has

been one of their central prize-winning traits.

Then of course there is the penchant some have for 'wounded bird'

relationships. They like those who are a little frail, and become frightened

if the bird can suddenly take wing and fly.

I think if you get a third party who is neutral and wants the best for you

both, that some clarity will come.

best wishes for a peaceful relationship

love,

ceep

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