Struggling

[Guest guest]

Well...it has been a long, long, long time since I posted.

I've been having a hard time lately and I have started to gain weight. My

lowest ever was 196. I am now at 208. 12 pounds heavier than my lowest and

I am feeling pretty firghtened.

I think what's scaring me is I can't seem to manage the high pressure job and

the focus on diet/exercise/personal health. It's like when the situation

gets tough work wise, my only means of comfort seems to be eating, eating,

eating.

I hardly see the trainer anymore. I don't ever exercise on my own anymore.

I order ONLY crap for meals. And eat the whole portion and then some! And I

snack, snack, snack. Plus there's the drinking. Been going out 2-3x a week

and consuming one drink after another without any realization of the calories

involved.

And I can't seem to get full. But I feel physically hungry virtually all the

time. Like right now. I had a whole bagel and here I am still hungry.

Literally WANTING food. Fighting back the desire. And eventually it just

takes over and I will give in.

I so loved this surgery because it seemed to stop the constant hunger I've

always felt. And my ability to consume large quantities of food was

eliminated. Now, it's not like that anymore.

I'm scared.

I want to talk to a doctor but my doctor is no help with the failure of his

work! He just seems so disinterested in my weight gain. Tells me it's

normal!!!!!!!!!!

se

Baltimore, MD

Open RNY 11/22/99, Dr. Sweet, Reading, PA

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11/22/99 324, BMI 51

12/6/99 301, BMI 47

1/27/00 280, BMI 44

2/22/00 270, BMI 42

3/16/00 262, BMI 41

5/31/00 244, BMI 38 (no longer extremely obese... just plain obese)

7/22/00 224, BMI 35

9/23/00 220, BMI 34 (and still obese)

10/16/00 216, BMI 34

11/7/00 210, BMI 33 (65 pounds from goal!!!)

5/8/01 196, BMI 31 (new goal 157; I am 5'7 " that would give me a BMI

of 24.6; 39 pounds to go)

9/13/01 196, BMI 31 (Stuck!)

4/2/02 200, ARGH! Very frightening moment. Hopefully I can lose back

down to 190 quickly!

4/28/02 201 (started a starch-free, 4 hours a week of exercise

program...weighed in at the gym)

9/22/02 Tummy Tuck, Thigh Lift, and Lower Back Lift, Dr. Shermack, s

Hopkins, Bayview,

Baltimore, MD -- 12 pounds of skin removed!!

5/15/03 208!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ouch.