just keeping in touch and depressed but losing weight

[Guest guest]

hello i had surgery on feb 10,2003 with many complications most of u

have read my story. but i am doing well as to be expected now.

mentally it is hard for me to face the fact that it is hard for me to

get dressed and do the normal things like shop and bath myself go to

the bathroom clean the house and i get depressed alot knowing the

susituation well not improve all the constant wound care and

bandages and dressing changes. i am learning how to walk with a

walker adn i ned a wheelchair i cannot stand for morethan 5 minutes

so this means i cannot return to my job as a hairdresser. i have

physical therapy 3 times a week.. i have to have protein in my

feeding tube 10 times a day....i miss not being able to eat or drink

anything its been over a year and the problem will not change...but

the good news is i have been eating and spitting it out justfor the

flavor and taste can anyone blame me..that has helped me mentaly alot

and food never tasted so good their are many other things wrong

toobut it goes with my territory not everyone elses.....

the good news is i have lost a lot of weight i am still big i feel

the fat has just shifted lol he he i haveto laugh...

my starting weight was 427 i am now 247 so i am down quite a bit i

lose about 30 pounds every 2 months i cant wait to get in the 100

numbers 199 would be great.he he havent seen any of these numbers in

a while..all the skin has dropped around my butt dropped down so i

have no butt..face neck and arms look great but stomach is terrible

all the bandages and feeding tube and colostomy bag are just their

plus skin graft on stomach because they could not close me up. so no

stomach muscles it just hangs..i am getting out to the car now ot go

for short rides which is good but i cant keep transfering to car to

wheelchair it wears me out to go shopping...well thanksfor letting me

vent i am getting a little stronger it just takes time and i have to

set my mindset that this is what i have to live with so i just thank

the lord i am alive and god bless everyone he is the main source of

me living plus my family who are great no words can describe them..

thank you janet

427/247/150would like to be