Re: Update from the deliriously tired house

[Guest guest]

Funny when I had Grace I had all these grand plans...to make all her

food and use only organic foods, she was never going to have

Mcs or hotdogs or bologna or any other fast food until she was

at least 3, she surly didn't need to have candy or sugar really until

she was 2, as for tv, well, a half hour a day sounded perfect right??

Hahahahahaha!

Sure, it would probably be better for you to get him used to getting

the shoes on now but you do what you have to do. You know that you

probably should get him used to getting them and and you will when

you are ready =) Really shouldn't take too long for him to get used

to the idea that the shoes go on and then it's time for bed. Is there

a favorite thing that he likes to do? We used to let Grace watch a

bit of a Dora DVD when putting the shoes on, probably why she is such

a Dora fanatic now lol.

& Grace 18 mos

Ps... There have been nights when Grace has been really cranky and I

have had sit on the couch and use my foot to hold her down for the 1

min it takes us to get the shoes on - you do what you have to do

right =)

>

> I've got two issues. One is the extreme fighting that goes on if I

try to

> put the shoes on while he's awake, and I hate physically fighting

to do it

> - it takes a lot longer and is quite aggravating at the time. The

other

> side is the hour or two of screaming the first 3 days. I could

handle it

> better than my wife (though I'm not thrilled with it), and I have to

> convince her to let it happen.

>

> I know I'm setting up for bedtime problems - with the other kids we

went

> through the " regular " crying it out to go to sleep deal and it only

took a

> few nights to get that straight. But adding the physical struggle

of

> getting the shoes on is frightening.

>

> In other words, I know what I should do, but I also know what I've

been

> doing that at least gets him to wear the shoes.

>

> When I get up the courage to " do the right thing " I'll let y'all

know.

> For now I'm trying to get him to nap before 2pm so we don't have a

> problem.

>

> - Seth

> (meir, lcf, 1/29/04)

>

> > Well here's another perspective on the whole thing. I've

never held

> > one of my babies minus all the contraptions except those first 3

days

> > with prior to his 4th day casting - and the two weeks prior

to

> > casting on Everett. It's neither here nor there, it's just

reality

> > and the grass really isn't any greener on any other side.

> >

> > I wonder why you would stay up till 1 or 2 in the morning rather

than

> > adjust your child to putting his shoes on at bed time (and thus,

building

> > a positive habit rather than draining yourself of sleep and

building a

> > negative habit).

> >

> > You might figure it this way: If he throws a fit putting them

on at the

> > scheduled hour, is he going to throw a fit past 2 in the morning

or be

> > worn out and asleep by 2 a few nights in a row? After the initial

> > adjustment period of a few days he'd be wearing his shoes on a

reasonable

> > schedule and you'd be getting the sleep you need. These shoes

are going

> > to be part of your life (his life) for a few years to come -

unless you

> > plan on staying up half the night until he graduates from them

I'd be

> > working towards setting some ground rules pretty soon. Again,

it's just

> > reality here talking; the world can't stop turning for a kid in a

FAB for

> > very long until the world just self destructs on itself from the

> > pressure.

> >

> > s.

> >

> >

> > Re: Re: Update from the

deliriously tired

> > house

> >

> >

> > We just HATE not being able to use the PJs with the feet - we

all love

> > them so much - even our 7-1/2 yr old even asks us to buy him

some - but

> > we

> > can't find any that big. But it's a small price to pay to fix

his

> > foot.

> >

> > BTW, we (mom & amp; dad, that is) haven't slept well lately -

but we'll

> > survive. If the little guy gets a late nap he can be up till

1 or 2am,

> > and I have to stay up to put on his shoes. He tolerates the

shoes

> > fairly

> > well, but I have to wait till he falls asleep before I can put

them on.

> > Then, fortunately, he usually sleeps through the night with

them on.

> > No

> > more kicking them off since we got the right-size bar and use

the

> > all-important tips & amp; tricks document.

> >

> > One more thing. I often refer to his clubfoot as his

& quot;lucky

> > fin & quot;. For

> > those of you (is that possible!) who don't get the reference,

go right

> > now

> > to buy Finding Nemo and watch with your kids. (I say buy

because by

> > the

> > time you've rented it 3 or 4 or 200 times you should have

bought it

> > anyway).

> >

> > - Seth

> > (meir, lcf, 1/29/04)

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

ee, I think the pajamas are just a metaphor, so to speak, which represents

the total losses/challenges/whatever you want to call it of having a child with

club feet. It isn't about the pajamas but the total package. It is a hard row

to hoe...no one knows that better than you.

In my " life before becoming a mom " , I was a therapist and the one of the things

I have taken from that experience is that feelings just ARE....they aren't good

or bad, forbidden or allowed, etc. And they shouldn't be dismissed because

someone else's experience is worse. We can always find someone worse off than

us, but that doesn't mean that our problems/feelings/whatever aren't valid. It

is possible to get mired in the bad thoughts or feelings, true enough...but part

of what I like about this group is that you people know how it FEELS to be the

parent of a child with club feet, not just how to help me with practical

problems. Before I found this group, I felt so alone in my experience. Now I

come here several times a day to my email not just for helpful advice, although

I have gotten plenty of great tips, but for understanding, as well, which is in

some ways just as important. I know no one in my " real " , non-computer,

non-email, face-to-face life who is walking the journey I am with a child with

club feet. But there are a whole lot of people here who are.

I think this can be a safe place to talk about things like how it feels to have

a child who can't wear footed pajamas. For myself, I burst into tears the day

we had to go get 's Markells and I had told my kids that we were getting

her new " shoes " . My five year old said, " I will help you pick her out some

normal shoes and some fancy shoes. " That is all it took to make my bawl...just

because my baby couldn't wear normal or fancy shoes. Is this as important as

children starving? Of course not. But it is important to me. Just my two

cents.

Carol

Re: Update from the deliriously tired house

Ohh...I know it's sad once we start thinking about certain things our

clubfoot kids miss out on (or we miss out on) . Sleep deprivation certainly adds

to the whole drama of this outlook. My first son used to dig his little toes in

my belly when he was sleeping with us and the crazy thing is that I actually

felt comforted when he did this. It made me aware of him being next to me. I

realized my little guy won't be able to do this since he will be in a brace at

night for his entire young life (well, til 4 anyway). And the crazy thing is,

there's no saying he would have even done this even without the brace, but in my

mind I see it as a loss because of the brace. We do the best we can under the

circumstances. I am so sorry for what you're going through. I wish I could help.

Hang in there as best as you can. Sleep during the day as often as you get a

chance. Don't forget that you can always come on here and vent.

lotsolove4my2babes wrote: Well, this is day 5.

Once I changed the bar to the 8 setting, he has still be fussy, but

nothing like he was, DURING THE DAYTIME.

Night has been horrible.

He has woken up every 10-15 min no exaggeration for the past 4

nights. I have only been getting 2 hr of sleep per night(after I

take the brace off at 5am for 2 hr of his off time). I have 2 other

young children to take care of, a house, a traveling husband, no

family or close friends here. How I am suppose to function?

What can I do to make him more comfortable?

He doesn't fuss during the day like this, so I don't think it is a

pain issue or improper correction or fit(even though we have checked

many times). He used to fall asleep on his side, legs curled up,

holding his toes(that was his comfort thing-he won't take pacy,

blankie, thumb, etc). I have tried pillows, laying him on my chest,

across my lap, nothing is working.

This totally sucks.

And I jsut realized last night that I am never going to see my baby,

my youngest toddle around in footed sleepers. I realized when I

went to get him some pjs from his drawer, and ALL of them are

footed. *crying* I know that is silly, but it makes me so sad.

[Guest guest]

I have to agree with you b/c I honestly do not know what is the rave about those

footed pajamas! Someone please enlighten me! I understand the frustration of

alot of what is being said here, afterall isn't that what we are here for to

understand each other and help each other out wheather we agree or not?

I have found myself on occasions being so upset at the fact that my daughter

has club feet. Especially when I am sleep deprived b/c she kicked me in the

head, stomach, legs,etc all night. I have honestly felt like taking that brace

off and throwing it out the window! But I think about those precious little feet

that really need them, I think about my daughter and wonder how she has slept

all this time with them one. I tell my dh " Can you imagine what it is like to

sleep for the first 4 years of your life with a brace every single night? " I put

my arm around her and the frustration melts away knowing I am doing the best for

her and knowing that in some ways she is stronger than I am.

When I hear people tell me that they can not believe that she has club feet

b/c she is sooo active(running,jumping,climbing all over the place) I feel soo

good to know how far she has come. That in itself is very rewarding to me. That

is why it is great to be a part of this group b/c all of you know first hand

what a club foot parent goes through..

and

BL CF 12/16/03

Carol Shelton wrote:

ee, I think the pajamas are just a metaphor, so to speak, which

represents the total losses/challenges/whatever you want to call it of having a

child with club feet. It isn't about the pajamas but the total package. It is

a hard row to hoe...no one knows that better than you.

In my " life before becoming a mom " , I was a therapist and the one of the things

I have taken from that experience is that feelings just ARE....they aren't good

or bad, forbidden or allowed, etc. And they shouldn't be dismissed because

someone else's experience is worse. We can always find someone worse off than

us, but that doesn't mean that our problems/feelings/whatever aren't valid. It

is possible to get mired in the bad thoughts or feelings, true enough...but part

of what I like about this group is that you people know how it FEELS to be the

parent of a child with club feet, not just how to help me with practical

problems. Before I found this group, I felt so alone in my experience. Now I

come here several times a day to my email not just for helpful advice, although

I have gotten plenty of great tips, but for understanding, as well, which is in

some ways just as important. I know no one in my " real " , non-computer,

non-email, face-to-face life who is walking the journey I am

with a child with club feet. But there are a whole lot of people here who are.

I think this can be a safe place to talk about things like how it feels to have

a child who can't wear footed pajamas. For myself, I burst into tears the day

we had to go get 's Markells and I had told my kids that we were getting

her new " shoes " . My five year old said, " I will help you pick her out some

normal shoes and some fancy shoes. " That is all it took to make my bawl...just

because my baby couldn't wear normal or fancy shoes. Is this as important as

children starving? Of course not. But it is important to me. Just my two

cents.

Carol

Re: Update from the deliriously tired house

Ohh...I know it's sad once we start thinking about certain things our

clubfoot kids miss out on (or we miss out on) . Sleep deprivation certainly adds

to the whole drama of this outlook. My first son used to dig his little toes in

my belly when he was sleeping with us and the crazy thing is that I actually

felt comforted when he did this. It made me aware of him being next to me. I

realized my little guy won't be able to do this since he will be in a brace at

night for his entire young life (well, til 4 anyway). And the crazy thing is,

there's no saying he would have even done this even without the brace, but in my

mind I see it as a loss because of the brace. We do the best we can under the

circumstances. I am so sorry for what you're going through. I wish I could help.

Hang in there as best as you can. Sleep during the day as often as you get a

chance. Don't forget that you can always come on here and vent.

lotsolove4my2babes wrote: Well, this is day 5.

Once I changed the bar to the 8 setting, he has still be fussy, but

nothing like he was, DURING THE DAYTIME.

Night has been horrible.

He has woken up every 10-15 min no exaggeration for the past 4

nights. I have only been getting 2 hr of sleep per night(after I

take the brace off at 5am for 2 hr of his off time). I have 2 other

young children to take care of, a house, a traveling husband, no

family or close friends here. How I am suppose to function?

What can I do to make him more comfortable?

He doesn't fuss during the day like this, so I don't think it is a

pain issue or improper correction or fit(even though we have checked

many times). He used to fall asleep on his side, legs curled up,

holding his toes(that was his comfort thing-he won't take pacy,

blankie, thumb, etc). I have tried pillows, laying him on my chest,

across my lap, nothing is working.

This totally sucks.

And I jsut realized last night that I am never going to see my baby,

my youngest toddle around in footed sleepers. I realized when I

went to get him some pjs from his drawer, and ALL of them are

footed. *crying* I know that is silly, but it makes me so sad.

[Guest guest]

I was thinking about what you guys have been saying about having

trouble putting the shoes on. I cannot put Sammy's shoes on unless

he is sitting on his changing table or some other high surface like

the kitchen counter where he can't easily get away from me.

Preferrably high enough so I don't have to bend over while putting

them on so it doesn't bother my back. It sounds silly but if I try

to sit him on my lap, on the couch, or anywhere that we can both

actually sit down he is SO squirmy that he just goes nuts trying to

get away. I don't know if it is because it is the routine, or if it

is because it is a high spot that he can't get down from, but he just

sits or lays there sweet as can be.

Just a thought, don't know if this will help anyone but I wanted to

throw it out there.

> >

> > I've got two issues. One is the extreme fighting that goes on if

I

> try to

> > put the shoes on while he's awake, and I hate physically fighting

> to do it

> > - it takes a lot longer and is quite aggravating at the time.

The

> other

> > side is the hour or two of screaming the first 3 days. I could

> handle it

> > better than my wife (though I'm not thrilled with it), and I have

to

> > convince her to let it happen.

> >

> > I know I'm setting up for bedtime problems - with the other kids

we

> went

> > through the " regular " crying it out to go to sleep deal and it

only

> took a

> > few nights to get that straight. But adding the physical

struggle

> of

> > getting the shoes on is frightening.

> >

> > In other words, I know what I should do, but I also know what

I've

> been

> > doing that at least gets him to wear the shoes.

> >

> > When I get up the courage to " do the right thing " I'll let y'all

> know.

> > For now I'm trying to get him to nap before 2pm so we don't have a

> > problem.

> >

> > - Seth

> > (meir, lcf, 1/29/04)

> >

> > > Well here's another perspective on the whole thing. I've

> never held

> > > one of my babies minus all the contraptions except those first

3

> days

> > > with prior to his 4th day casting - and the two weeks

prior

> to

> > > casting on Everett. It's neither here nor there, it's just

> reality

> > > and the grass really isn't any greener on any other side.

> > >

> > > I wonder why you would stay up till 1 or 2 in the morning

rather

> than

> > > adjust your child to putting his shoes on at bed time (and

thus,

> building

> > > a positive habit rather than draining yourself of sleep and

> building a

> > > negative habit).

> > >

> > > You might figure it this way: If he throws a fit putting them

> on at the

> > > scheduled hour, is he going to throw a fit past 2 in the

morning

> or be

> > > worn out and asleep by 2 a few nights in a row? After the

initial

> > > adjustment period of a few days he'd be wearing his shoes on a

> reasonable

> > > schedule and you'd be getting the sleep you need. These shoes

> are going

> > > to be part of your life (his life) for a few years to come -

> unless you

> > > plan on staying up half the night until he graduates from them

> I'd be

> > > working towards setting some ground rules pretty soon. Again,

> it's just

> > > reality here talking; the world can't stop turning for a kid in

a

> FAB for

> > > very long until the world just self destructs on itself from the

> > > pressure.

> > >

> > > s.

> > >

> > >

> > > Re: Re: Update from the

> deliriously tired

> > > house

> > >

> > >

> > > We just HATE not being able to use the PJs with the feet -

we

> all love

> > > them so much - even our 7-1/2 yr old even asks us to buy him

> some - but

> > > we

> > > can't find any that big. But it's a small price to pay to

fix

> his

> > > foot.

> > >

> > > BTW, we (mom & amp; dad, that is) haven't slept well lately -

> but we'll

> > > survive. If the little guy gets a late nap he can be up

till

> 1 or 2am,

> > > and I have to stay up to put on his shoes. He tolerates the

> shoes

> > > fairly

> > > well, but I have to wait till he falls asleep before I can

put

> them on.

> > > Then, fortunately, he usually sleeps through the night with

> them on.

> > > No

> > > more kicking them off since we got the right-size bar and

use

> the

> > > all-important tips & amp; tricks document.

> > >

> > > One more thing. I often refer to his clubfoot as his

> & quot;lucky

> > > fin & quot;. For

> > > those of you (is that possible!) who don't get the

reference,

> go right

> > > now

> > > to buy Finding Nemo and watch with your kids. (I say buy

> because by

> > > the

> > > time you've rented it 3 or 4 or 200 times you should have

> bought it

> > > anyway).

> > >

> > > - Seth

> > > (meir, lcf, 1/29/04)

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Truce. :-)

Can we make it a law that nothing that is said under severe sleep

deprivation counts?!? LOL

ee - Like everyone has said, it isn't just the footie pjs. Part

of the pj deal was me realizing financially, not just emotionally,

over half the hand me down clothes from my first son won't work.

With me a SAHM and 3 young kids that is an issue to us(not soley the

sentimental part).

Today was really great with Isaac. Very minimal fussing just while

putting it on. Here's to hoping tonight is good too.

Well, this is day 5.

>

> Once I changed the bar to the 8 setting, he has still be

fussy, but

> nothing like he was, DURING THE DAYTIME.

> Night has been horrible.

> He has woken up every 10-15 min no exaggeration for the past 4

> nights. I have only been getting 2 hr of sleep per night

(after I

> take the brace off at 5am for 2 hr of his off time). I have 2

other

> young children to take care of, a house, a traveling husband,

no

> family or close friends here. How I am suppose to function?

>

> What can I do to make him more comfortable?

> He doesn't fuss during the day like this, so I don't think it

is a

> pain issue or improper correction or fit(even though we have

checked

> many times). He used to fall asleep on his side, legs curled

up,

> holding his toes(that was his comfort thing-he won't take

pacy,

> blankie, thumb, etc). I have tried pillows, laying him on my

chest,

> across my lap, nothing is working.

>

> This totally sucks.

>

> And I jsut realized last night that I am never going to see my

baby,

> my youngest toddle around in footed sleepers. I realized when

I

> went to get him some pjs from his drawer, and ALL of them are

> footed. *crying* I know that is silly, but it makes me so

sad.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

If you are not planning to use the hand me downs again ??? you can

always cut the feet out. Yes, not as convenient for changing

diapers, you pretty much have to take it down off his body to

change. But I just cut a big + in the bottom of the foot part, put

the jammies on first, then the shoes, then pull the foot part down

over the shoe. Helps keep him warm b/c all the other non-footie

jammies hike up his legs whenever he is sleeping.

This way you get the appearance of footie pajama's at least! : )

Seriously, I know it is an expense to deal with. My problem was that

all my daughter's hand me downs are pink and purple so I have to buy

new stuff anyway for Sammy! We just buy the cheap footed pj's from

Walmart or Target and cut away, at least it is only a $3-4 pair you

are cutting up that way.

Glad to hear Isaac did better today, will keep you guys in my

thoughts for tonight. Hope he's sleeping now!

Well, this is day 5.

> >

> > Once I changed the bar to the 8 setting, he has still be

> fussy, but

> > nothing like he was, DURING THE DAYTIME.

> > Night has been horrible.

> > He has woken up every 10-15 min no exaggeration for the past

4

> > nights. I have only been getting 2 hr of sleep per night

> (after I

> > take the brace off at 5am for 2 hr of his off time). I have

2

> other

> > young children to take care of, a house, a traveling husband,

> no

> > family or close friends here. How I am suppose to function?

> >

> > What can I do to make him more comfortable?

> > He doesn't fuss during the day like this, so I don't think it

> is a

> > pain issue or improper correction or fit(even though we have

> checked

> > many times). He used to fall asleep on his side, legs curled

> up,

> > holding his toes(that was his comfort thing-he won't take

> pacy,

> > blankie, thumb, etc). I have tried pillows, laying him on my

> chest,

> > across my lap, nothing is working.

> >

> > This totally sucks.

> >

> > And I jsut realized last night that I am never going to see

my

> baby,

> > my youngest toddle around in footed sleepers. I realized

when

> I

> > went to get him some pjs from his drawer, and ALL of them are

> > footed. *crying* I know that is silly, but it makes me so

> sad.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Just thought I'd share that my dd was at 8 " from 2 months until 8 months....

Marcia

Re: Update from the deliriously tired house

Thank u for posting the link to the Pics Group. I don't have a lot

of time to surf through and find things here. I signed up to join.

I will try to take & post some pics tonight after my dh gets home.

The only pic I have is the one where he was in the 6 slot(which is

8 " ). He is now in the 8 slot(10 " ) across from center of hole to

center of hole. His back/shoulder to shoulder measurement is 8 "

across, and his heel to heel is 6.5 " with him in the 8 slot.

He is doing good during the day, learned how to roll over both ways

the first day, is trying to sit up, will sit unassisted really good

(I think the bar balances out his big noggin, lol).

His naps on day 1-3 were sporadic and short, but the past two days,

he has slept in the swing, in my lap, in my husband's lap, and on

our bed(with me watching, of course). He is sleeping from 30 to 1.25

hr. So just a tad shorter than his normal of 45 min to 2 hr.

He has no blisters, red spots, purple spots, etc.

My other children are 2.5 yr and 5.5 yr(in kindergarden).

He has only slipped out of the shoes once yesterday. I tightened

the strap one more hole while holding the foot flat, and he hasn't

come back out.

I am going to try moving one of the feet over one hole this

afternoon. Thanks for all the suggestions.

> > >

> > > Well, this is day 5.

> > >

> > > Once I changed the bar to the 8 setting, he has still be

fussy,

> but

> > > nothing like he was, DURING THE DAYTIME.

> > > Night has been horrible.

> > > He has woken up every 10-15 min no exaggeration for the past 4

> > > nights. I have only been getting 2 hr of sleep per night

(after I

> > > take the brace off at 5am for 2 hr of his off time). I have 2

> other

> > > young children to take care of, a house, a traveling husband,

no

> > > family or close friends here. How I am suppose to function?

> > >

> > > What can I do to make him more comfortable?

> > > He doesn't fuss during the day like this, so I don't think it

is

> a

> > > pain issue or improper correction or fit(even though we have

> checked

> > > many times). He used to fall asleep on his side, legs curled

up,

> > > holding his toes(that was his comfort thing-he won't take

pacy,

> > > blankie, thumb, etc). I have tried pillows, laying him on my

> chest,

> > > across my lap, nothing is working.

> > >

> > > This totally sucks.

> > >

> > > And I jsut realized last night that I am never going to see my

> baby,

> > > my youngest toddle around in footed sleepers. I realized when

I

> > > went to get him some pjs from his drawer, and ALL of them are

> > > footed. *crying* I know that is silly, but it makes me so

sad.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I don't think anyone is missing the point, I think you are. No one made a huge

deal out of it, it was just a brief mention in a long post about other aspects

of the club foot journey. Maybe take a minute to sit down, sip some tea or

coffee and chill out I think we've all had our moments of mourning the silly

and stupid, but very real, things we miss because of this condition. We're all

allowed that moment!

Marcia

Re: Update from the deliriously tired house

Ohh...I know it's sad once we start thinking about certain things our

clubfoot kids miss out on (or we miss out on) . Sleep deprivation certainly adds

to the whole drama of this outlook. My first son used to dig his little toes in

my belly when he was sleeping with us and the crazy thing is that I actually

felt comforted when he did this. It made me aware of him being next to me. I

realized my little guy won't be able to do this since he will be in a brace at

night for his entire young life (well, til 4 anyway). And the crazy thing is,

there's no saying he would have even done this even without the brace, but in my

mind I see it as a loss because of the brace. We do the best we can under the

circumstances. I am so sorry for what you're going through. I wish I could help.

Hang in there as best as you can. Sleep during the day as often as you get a

chance. Don't forget that you can always come on here and vent.

lotsolove4my2babes wrote: Well, this is day 5.

Once I changed the bar to the 8 setting, he has still be fussy, but

nothing like he was, DURING THE DAYTIME.

Night has been horrible.

He has woken up every 10-15 min no exaggeration for the past 4

nights. I have only been getting 2 hr of sleep per night(after I

take the brace off at 5am for 2 hr of his off time). I have 2 other

young children to take care of, a house, a traveling husband, no

family or close friends here. How I am suppose to function?

What can I do to make him more comfortable?

He doesn't fuss during the day like this, so I don't think it is a

pain issue or improper correction or fit(even though we have checked

many times). He used to fall asleep on his side, legs curled up,

holding his toes(that was his comfort thing-he won't take pacy,

blankie, thumb, etc). I have tried pillows, laying him on my chest,

across my lap, nothing is working.

This totally sucks.

And I jsut realized last night that I am never going to see my baby,

my youngest toddle around in footed sleepers. I realized when I

went to get him some pjs from his drawer, and ALL of them are

footed. *crying* I know that is silly, but it makes me so sad.