Re: WLS Discrimination - need advice

September 16, 2001

Just smile and ignore the ignorant because they can't help who they are.

They won't change, but you are changing everyday, and that's good. Don't

let a few people take anything away from the wonderful things in your life.

WLS Discrimination - need advice

> I never said anything to my co-workers about surgery until I knew for sure

I was having it. Even then, I only told a few that I could trust. I found

out on a Monday evening that I was having surgery on the following Thursday.

Because of the bowel prep, Tuesday was my last day at work. For those that

I didn't give details to, they were only aware that I would be out for about

6 weeks. The day after my surgery one of my trusted co-workers went around

to everyone on my team (about 17) and asked for donations to send me

flowers. Most everyone was eager to show me support, but for a few. These

4 men said " I will not support this sham surgery. She just had elective

cosmetic surgery to have some time off work. " This comment was actually

said to someone who works for me. I don't know if these men knew that I was

having WLS. Since I have come back to work they have been cold and rude. I

would just tell these guys to get a life, but I have to work with them and I

don't want to make things worse. I have wo

>

> rked with these men for over 7 years and they have been here longer than

me. The main ringleader of this group has got personal issues (house

renovation nightmare) and is taking them out on everyone around. I know

that if I try to explain what I had done and why, they wouldn't understand

nor would they care. They would use it against me. My weight loss is very

noticable now and I am sure this is just going to get worse. Any advice?

>

> Kathy M.

> DS 7/19/01 Dr. Hares

> 213 pre-op

> 168 today

>

> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

>

September 17, 2001

In a message dated 9/17/01 6:26:23 AM Pacific Daylight Time, andem4@...

writes:

> . Any advice?

>

I would just keep it professional and don't waste your time trying to

explain. if they can't be considerate and at least professional on their

end...why lower yourself to their standards. By setting the tone of

professionalism....you won't open up for any of their rude words in the

future when they decide to say something (if they do). As you said, you have

to work with them, and its nicer if you all get along but sometimes you just

have to rise above a situation and be the bigger person!

~~* AJ *~~

Age 37 5'8''

Post op 7/24/01 Open BPD/DS

self pay - Dr Baltasar -Alcoy Spain

07/24/01 BMI 64 415.1

08/06/01 BMI 59 390.2 -24.9 lbs! -10.75 inches

08/16/01 BMI 58 387.0 -28.1 lbs! -11.25 inches

08/24/01 BMI 58 386.5 -28.6 lbs! -15.5 inches

08/30/01 BMI 58 378.3 -36.8 lbs! -21.25 inches

09/10/01 BMI 57 373.0 -42.1 lbs!

My personal website: www.WLS4AJ.homestead.com

Check out the Bellingham Support Group at WWW.WLSBellingham.homestead.com

September 17, 2001

At 7:07 AM -0400 9/17/01, andem4@... wrote:

>I never said anything to my co-workers about surgery until I knew

>for sure I was having it. ... I know that if I try to explain what

>I had done and why, they wouldn't understand nor would they care.

>They would use it against me. My weight loss is very noticable now

>and I am sure this is just going to get worse. Any advice?

>

Don't explain! Don't be on the defensive. Just appear around their

offices when you have some bad gas to pass. They deserve it. Better

than flipping them the bird (which they richly deserve).

--Steve

--

September 17, 2001

Hi Kathy: A few thoughts. If you had surgery with Dr. Hares I am assuming

(perhaps wrongly and if so, I apologize) that you work in Michigan.

Remember that Michigan is the ONLY STATE (unfortunately) that expressly

protects people from discrimination in the workplace based on size (it's the

Elliott Larson Civil Rights Act). Therefore, it may be advisable to

privately seek out a management person in your HR department and formally

register your concerns and get them to take action or investigate...which is

their duty. If they don't respond appropriately, that notice to them will

protect you in the event you have to take more steps to protect yourself

from the harassment. You may wish to fashion a carefully written letter

outlining what happened before and since your return from work, ask for

appropriate action to be done, and insist that letter become part of your

personnel file so that there is formal documentation of your concerns.

Hope these humble suggestions make a difference for you. Best of luck.

Please Note Our New Mailing Address (Effective 8/8/01)

Walter Lindstrom, Jr., Esquire

Obesity Law & Advocacy Center

7710 Hazard Center Drive, Suite E, PMB no. 443

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Fax:

www.obesitylaw.com