Caregivers/Caregiving

[Guest guest]

Feeling so "alone" at the moment. Need to vent! I've gone thru moments like these, but for some reason, it's hard to pull myself together, in spite of my faith/religion matters. Which leaves me filled with guilt of not giving it ALL (overwhelment, anxiety, depression--all of the above) to the ONE I have been believing in and where I did mention at one time, where my strength is relied on to get me thru. I'm feeling such anger/resentment and the question pops up: Why me, what did I do to deserve this?

From one caregiver to another--How do you do it? Must you also go thru combative issues, belittlement, derogatory languages/statements and moments of hatred that you just want to curl-up and die yourself. Or what about going to the grocery store and think about NOT returning! Does your beloved one who has the illness, believe they must come First, no matter how there are other family members to take care of? What about the statement: What do you do all day? No use of explaining because you're wasting your breath/energy and he doesn't want to HEAR it!!!!

Does one go thru episodes of noticing how the color of their pee is, or not even that--that they need to drink more WATER and keep hydrated, only to be told, "stop telling me what to do, or because he's not eating the right foods, of which he needs protein to help with the healing of his bed-sore (other than eating cereal/fruit-1x/day) that I'm not a doctor and I don't know better! The best one yet: Just leave me the f____k alone!

I'm sorry if I came on too strong, but I know for a fact, unless I release these "negativities" I'm going thru at the moment--I won't be able to snap out of it. The term: just one of those days....has turned into a week. What do you think?