Autism and violence

[Guest guest]

I am the mother of a teenage autistic son, and we live in

Indianapolis, IN. I was upset about this situation when I heard about

it. If you would like to read the article in the local paper go to

www.indystar.com. Select news and then city/state. There is a section

of archives for the past week. Select Wednesday and you will see the

article.

> Is being Autistic a criminal offense? Evidently in Indianapolis,

Indiana

> it

> is and it lands people in jail. Let me explain.

> It seems that a 15 year old Autistic boy became upset on the school

bus

> because he didn't have his favorite shoes with him. He tried to

leave the

>

> bus, and when the driver refused to allow him to leave, he began

hitting

> her arms. She, of course, called for security, and the boy was

subdued.

>

> Just a quick response to what was written--I don't know the

situation any

> more than that. Being autistic is not a crime, but assault is.

That is

> what the boy was arrested for. It serves as a wake-up call that we

must

> have a plan, and work with our autistic kids, to stave off violent

> tendencies. Write it into IEP's if we must, but we must get our

heads

> out of the sand and not expect others to serve as punching bags for

our

> kids because they are disabled.

>

> A man in a wheelchair here assaulted a driver on a handicapped bus

and

> was charged and convicted of the offense. I don't believe anyone

should

> use disabilities as a buzzword to hide behind when they have

committed

> criminal actions.

>

> Parents--it's our job to work with our kids, and with the IEP

teams, too.

> Let's do our job so there will be fewer reports like this.

Somebody

> probably let this boy down, but that does not excuse assault.

Cheers,

> M.

[Guest guest]

So, do you have any great advice on how to train these

kids, especially after my letter to the list about how

my sons week at school has gone. How do you train a

child like this to NOT get aggressive when the world

around them is so out of control? I am sorry, but I

have punished, and given alternatives, and I am

willing to try everything short of sedating my son,

and I am NOT excusing his behavior, but how do you

TEACH a child to control something that is beyond

their control.

=====

Phyllis Parmelee

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__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

" Upon further investigation, it seems that the boy's mother told the bus

driver that he was upset about his shoes and that he might try to leave

the

bus. She instructed her to bring him home if he insisted on getting the

shoes and that she would deal with it. Seems like a simple request of a

parent to a bus driver. Instead, the driver refused to allow him to leave

and caused the situation to escalate to the point where the police had to

be called.

Now wait a minute. Let's think this through. If your child were already

headed for a meltdown, would you put him on a bus or would you calmly

take him home, get the right shoes, and drive him to school? This

mother's " request " makes very little sense to me. It takes a lot more

work to drive a whole van full of kids back to the boy's house than to

just leave him with his mom, who can tend to his needs.

And, no, I am not talking about any parents on this list specifically

when I say that we parents of ASD kids need to train them better. I

assume that we are all caring folk who work hard to help our children

learn proper responses and . . . sometimes they just don't learn them

because they can't, or at least not yet.

But I believe there still are parents of ASD kids (not on this list

probably) who expect far more training to come to their child from the

school than they are ever willing to work on at home!

We had a little ASD boy drown locally last year--wandered away from his

home. Turns out the parents and the school had been charging each other

with neglect for years. Now who was right and who was wrong? I don't

know. But I do know that we have far more at risk than the teachers do

if our child drowns, assaults someone, gets bullied, etc. For others, it

is just a job. For us, these kids are our lives.

So, my note was just meant as a gentle reminder that we cannot always

call things " a product of his ASD " and dismiss them. Not when real

people are getting beat up by real ASD kids. They *are* our

responsibility 24/7 and we just need to recommit ourselves to training

our specific child in any way we can! Probably preaching to the choir

here on this list! And that makes me glad that we are all so involved

and caring! Love, M.