Re: Need Advise Please Help

[Guest guest]

Hi Tara -- my husband was anti-wls for me too saying

he loved me as is. Then started the crap about I'm

gonna get skinny and leave him (he's about 75 lbs

overweight). I stood firm and I'm alittle over 2 weeks

out. He is now eating smaller portions and not so late

at night because he's lost his chow partner. He even

switched to lite beer which I thought would NEVER

happen. All of this has come about on it's own. Maybe

it's sympathy pains for me ? He's on my case about

getting my protein and supplements and really involved

! It has actually brought us closer together. I don't

know how it will be 100 lbs from now but so far so

good. He swears he'll never let me have any plastic

surgery but we'll see... As far as scars I went lap so

they are minimal. I'd say he's lost 5 lbs or so since

I got home and I bet he'll continue just by watching

me. By the way we are both 40 with one 11 year old

son. We had numerous loud discussions before I had

this done so I know what you mean !

Best of luck to you both.

Sharon M in NY

BMI 43

Lap DS Dr Ren 8/23/01

--- midnightmoonsong@... wrote:

> Hello extended family!! Last night hubby an I

> totally had it

> out...then we made up which was fun but anyway

> lol.We were talking

> about weight loss surgery and he was being honest

> even though he knew

> how I would feel so i give him credit for that.He

> has a problem with

> the tons of extra skin and the scars that will be

> left after its

> removed.Were talking about a guy who didnt want back

> surgery because

> he would have a scar from his butt crack to his rib

> cage.Yes he had

> his surgery though.He says that hes afraide that

> first of all we wont

> have the money to have tucks all over which i will

> need and he knows

> that i wont feel good about myself with the extra

> skin.I think also

> because hes obease that he figures if I have wls and

> begin to lose

> that either I will pressure him into surgery or that

> i wont be

> attracted to him anymore...hes never said it but

> getting him to talk

> sometimes is a joke! His compromise to this is that

> in between dr

> apts and meeting the surgeon and getting a date for

> wls we will join

> a gym and try eating better,if I begin to lose a

> good amount of

> weight I will wait on the surgery and if not he will

> support the

> surgery.If i begin losing weight wont i be denied

> surgery ? I only

> have 100 pounds to lose.

> Tara

>

>

>

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>

[Guest guest]

Hi Tara,

If I could say one thing to your husband it would be. This is not

about vanity its about better health. If he has fears about surgery

and scars Plastic Surgery is an option post-op. My fiancee' has a BMI

of 24 and mine was 63 she loved me as I was, now I am beginning to

like me again which is more important to our relationship that just

her loving me. Your husbands fears are real. Everyone that has a

significant other fears change in their partner just reinforce your

love for him and tell him just think how much better our love making

will be. Be well and good luck to you two.

Regards,

[Guest guest]

At 3:48 PM +0000 9/9/01, bristolgeo@... wrote:

>Hi Tara,

>

>If I could say one thing to your husband it would be. This is not

>about vanity its about better health. If he has fears about surgery

>and scars Plastic Surgery is an option post-op. My fiancee' has a BMI

>of 24 and mine was 63 she loved me as I was, now I am beginning to

>like me again which is more important to our relationship that just

>her loving me.

Hey, Gerorge. You sure have your head screwed on right! Well said!!! --Steve

--

Steve Goldstein, age 61

Lap BPD/DS on May 2, 2001

Dr. Elariny, INOVA Fairfax Hospital, Virginia

Starting (05/02/01) BMI = 51

BMI on 09/04 = 41

[Guest guest]

If you had a disease that could be cured with surgery, would your husband not

want you to have surgery because of the scars. The ds surgery will cure the

disease of obesity which will at worse kill you and at best severly decrease

your quality of life.

midnightmoonsong@... wrote: Hello extended family!! Last night hubby an

I totally had it

out...then we made up which was fun but anyway lol.We were talking

about weight loss surgery and he was being honest even though he knew

how I would feel so i give him credit for that.He has a problem with

the tons of extra skin and the scars that will be left after its

removed.Were talking about a guy who didnt want back surgery because

he would have a scar from his butt crack to his rib cage.Yes he had

his surgery though.He says that hes afraide that first of all we wont

have the money to have tucks all over which i will need and he knows

that i wont feel good about myself with the extra skin.I think also

because hes obease that he figures if I have wls and begin to lose

that either I will pressure him into surgery or that i wont be

attracted to him anymore...hes never said it but getting him to talk

sometimes is a joke! His compromise to this is that in between dr

apts and meeting the surgeon and getting a date for wls we will join

a gym and try eating better,if I begin to lose a good amount of

weight I will wait on the surgery and if not he will support the

surgery.If i begin losing weight wont i be denied surgery ? I only

have 100 pounds to lose.

Tara

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