RE: dont know what to do....

[Guest guest]

Christie,

You have put your life on hold too long because of a man that did not deserve

you. I promise you that if you want to continue and go through with this

surgery you will find a way to have it done. I am proud of you for getting out

of that situation because you don't deserve that, and more importantly your boys

don't deserve it either. I can understand you not wanting him to have them for

a long period of time because they are learning his abusive patterns from him.

Sit down with your mom and see what options you have and see if you can do this

without him having them for a long period of time. Stay strong your boys need

you. And you can do this, where there is a will there is a way. I have a very

dear friend going through this right now too and we have spent a great deal of

time talking and praying about what she should do. I don't know if you are a

spiritual person, but God will not put you into more than you can handle. If

you ever need someone to talk with please feel free to contact me privately if

you want.

Dora

dont know what to do....

first of all i want to thank you for reading this.this last december

i had my husband leave because he was abusive to me and my 2

boys.and in january i had an order for protection on him because of

the abuse,the judge said that he can call the boys once a week well

then he had a fit because he wanted to call them more often,and he

got supervised visitation for once a week at like at a ymca.well he

has only called the boys 3 times since january.and hasnt visited

them at all since then.but anyways getting to what i dont know what

to do...my mom asked him if he wanted to take the kids while im in

the hospital,with the help of his mom.since he lives with his

parents.i dont want my kids to be hurt by him anymore then they have

already.but then i dont want to keep them away from him.i am really

considering about just not having the surgery.my oldest son is 6

years old and he now is hitting,spitting,calling names at girls.im

pretty sure its because he seen his dad do that to me.i just dont

know what to do.if i should let him take care of the boys or if i

should forget about having the surgery for now.i dont know when i

would do it though ok well i suppose i will stop babaling.take

care.

christie

_____

[Guest guest]

Christie, Not to be mean but what was your mom thinking, going

behind your back and asking him? Can she take them? Even if he has

changed and is really nice to them while you have your surgery, they

are getting hurt because they will feel abandoned AGAIN after when he

doesn't give them the time off day. Kids don't understand and blame

themselves for what is happening. I would hate to have them feel

that all over again.

Good luck on your decision

Colleen

> first of all i want to thank you for reading this.this last

december

> i had my husband leave because he was abusive to me and my 2

> boys.and in january i had an order for protection on him because of

> the abuse,the judge said that he can call the boys once a week well

> then he had a fit because he wanted to call them more often,and he

> got supervised visitation for once a week at like at a ymca.well he

> has only called the boys 3 times since january.and hasnt visited

> them at all since then.but anyways getting to what i dont know what

> to do...my mom asked him if he wanted to take the kids while im in

> the hospital,with the help of his mom.since he lives with his

> parents.i dont want my kids to be hurt by him anymore then they

have

> already.but then i dont want to keep them away from him.i am really

> considering about just not having the surgery.my oldest son is 6

> years old and he now is hitting,spitting,calling names at girls.im

> pretty sure its because he seen his dad do that to me.i just dont

> know what to do.if i should let him take care of the boys or if i

> should forget about having the surgery for now.i dont know when i

> would do it though ok well i suppose i will stop babaling.take

> care.

> christie

[Guest guest]

hi group my name is I am going today for my first consultation for gastric

bypass I am a little bit nervous I hope I get approved. does anyone have any bad

stories about the surgery I was just curious how bad the risks are thanks.

[Guest guest]

Before going into surgery I was scared of morphine so I told them I didn't want

it I wanted Demerol. Well when I woke up in the recovery room I was hurting so

bad that I was screaming, moving around on the stretcher and cussing. (I'm not a

cusser but I wouldn't quit saying shit I'm hurting) The nurse got on to me a few

times because of saying shit. My sister said give her pain medicine she is in a

lot of pain. The nurse said we've given her all the Demerol we can it's

affecting her breathing. They had me on oxygen because of it. Well my sister

said give her morphine. They said your sister said she didn't want it and my

sister asked me in front of the nurse did I want it and I was like YES! The

quicker the better. When they first gave it to me it knocked me out until I got

moved in my room. I was in recovery for a couple of hours. Well when I got in

the room I woke up in pain again so they gave me another morphine shot. It

freaked me out. I was getting out of the bed walking around sitting in the chair

then getting back in bed then getting right back out. The morphine had me so

nervous and I was agitated bad. My sister called the nurse and she came in and

gave me a shot of Toradol. That calmed me down and I took a 2 hour nap. I ran

fever while I was in the hospital plus I was in so much pain and I couldn't go

to the bathroom. The nurse came in there the first night and told me if you

don't go tinkle I will have to put the catheter back in you. I kept sipping

water and I finally went late that night. The next day they put me through the

leak test even though he did one during surgery because of all the pain I was

in. It was normal. The doctor ordered morphine shots every two hours then every

four hours I could have the Loritab elixir. Two of my nurses told me I didn't

need my pain medicine when I asked. (It was time). I was so mad. I spent four

days in the hospital and he told me I could stay another day but after the

nurses did that to me I was like let me out of here. I went home Sunday and did

so so until Tuesday. I ran fever Monday of 101.6 then Tuesday I had a fever of

101.5. Water, medicine, smells everything was making me sick at my stomach. By

Wednesday I went in to see my surgeon and he put me back in the hospital. I was

in there another 3 days. I couldn't tinkle again so the nurse was saying she

needed a urine specimen and if I didn't go by 10:00 pm that night she would be

putting a catheter in me. I went right at 10:00 PM and the nurses aid came in

and measured it and then poured it out. I didn't pay attention to what she was

doing or I would have stopped her. Well the nurse came in to get my specimen and

saw what happened. I told her I gave her tinkle and it wasn't my fault that lady

dumped it out and she wasn't putting in a catheter. So she said well I guess I

will get it when you go again. They did another leak test on me. (It showed no

leaks) After having the dry heaves it was SO SO hard to drink that horrible

bitter tasting stuff. Atleast I didn't puke on anyone. They did a chest x -

ray. I guess that was ok. The did an ultra sound on my gallbladder. I was glad

they did that because I was worried about that. My sis, mom, and grandmother all

had problems with their gallbladder and had to have them removed. My gallbladder

is normal size and no stones. I'm happy about that. The nurse took my drain tube

out before I left and I was screaming so loud other nurses came in the room. Oh

my goodness that was SO MUCH PAIN. I had to make her stop half way through

because I thought I was going to pass out. I went home Friday night about

5:30pm. I was suppose to go back to work on Monday but just couldn't make it. I

worked Tuesday, and Wednesday but yesterday I got sick and threw up for an hour

and just didn't feel like going in. I went back and seen the surgeon because he

wanted to see me after being in the hospital. He said I was just having a harder

time than most. I've thrown up 4 times, I've dumped 2 or 3 times, I'm still in

pain, I'm weak. I'm scared to eat anything. The only good thing through this all

is I've lost 19 pounds in 14 days. I'm at work today but feeling bad.

Tina

> Re: Re: dont know what to do....

>

> hi group my name is I am going today for my first consultation for

gastric bypass I am a little bit nervous I hope I get approved. does anyone have

any bad stories about the surgery I was just curious how bad the risks are

thanks.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Christie,

For your son's sake you need to take good care of yourself! Its

hard to be a good mom when you are hurting and I know what thats

like with my husband. He's never been abusive (at least not

physical) but he has made me feel like crap a million times with his

putdowns and verbal treatment. I have felt embarrassed and at the

end of my ropes. This surgery has been the best thing for me and

ultimately for my family too. I am getting back my self-esteem and

getting healthier too.

I think you're on the right track so have faith in yourself.

Keep up posted Christie and hang in there.

Bridget Northam

[Guest guest]

Hang in there. I have a friend who went through about as tough a time as you

are having. Her major problems were with dehydration. She is much better now

and is enjoying the fact that she had the surgery. Keep in mind, there is a

light at the end of that tunnel and you will be enjoying it one day soon. It is

tough now, but one day you will be through this and know this is the best thing

you could do for yourself so that you can enjoy the rest of your life.

Dora

Re: Re: dont know what to do....

>

> hi group my name is I am going today for my first consultation for

gastric bypass I am a little bit nervous I hope I get approved. does anyone have

any bad stories about the surgery I was just curious how bad the risks are

thanks.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Good luck Christie...I'm sure the kid's Grandma will watch out for

them.... D