Re: McD's Fries - TO DEBBIE

[Guest guest]

Hi Debbie

I generally stay out of discussions like this, but I feel compelled to

make two comments to you.

First, I will mention that my opinion on the subject of this current

thread is that if some people don't see a problem giving their

children these fries, then fine for them. And if other people think

it is a bad idea, then fine for them. But I will mention, that I do

take exception to one of your statements which I will comment on here.

And just like you, I will state that this is MY OPINION ONLY, and I

do not expect anyone to agree with it, including you, but it is one

reason why AS adults do not like this specific listserv.

You said in another message -- " I go to bed every night, just like

everyone else on here and cry because my child is lost somewhere in

this " Autistic " maize. . . . I also feel my heart break from the

depths of my soul EACH and EVERYTIME I see a new member join onto this

list-serv....WHY you ask, because to me, that means it is yet ANOTHER

family that has to go through this tormented hell the doctors call

" The Autistic Spectrum " . I wouldn't wish my life on even my worst

enemy. I pray DAILY for God to help ALL of the familes involved, not

just mine. My eyes get red and raw, just like many of you, from crying

over the hell my child goes through and will CONTINUE to go through, "

Your last statement is true, life is tormented hell, but primarily

because other people in society treat AS and autistic children like

trash [understatement], and the parents as people with " poor

parenting skills " . I had my MMR vax at age 7. I regressed at age 7.

If anyone is really interested in knowing exactly what a child

experiences with encephalitis, then I can describe it in detail, but

trust me, you do not want to know. But after that, everyone treated

me like trash. I am the child who actually WAS stuffed into lockers

and trash cans. I have been beaten, kicked, and choked. I have been

held down and cut with scissors, thrown from moving vehicles, and set

on fire twice by my " peers " . So yes, life was hell, and even now

continues to be at times. But it is primarily NOT because of autism,

it is because of society's reaction to " people like me " , who are

different and are therefore seen as defective through no fault of our

own. I have a doctoral degree and I am an attorney, but people who

discover I am AS automatically suddenly believe my opinion is not

worthy of consideration because " I am defective and do not understand

my own reality " .

But what I do take exception to, is that the child is not " lost in

this autistic maze " , and the general pervasive feeling I get on this

and other autism listservs and message boards, where parents feel

their child is defective and therefore a lesser human being, not

deserving of basic love and respect. I think it is very sad. The

child may be different and/or injured, but I do not believe the child

is " lost " . And it is not the child's " fault " that they were born

and/or were injured, but many parents are unhappy it is not the child

they " wanted " . I know you and the other parents here love your

children, but it does make those of us who are AS and/or autistic very

sad to know that we are apparently not acceptable even to our

own parents. I counsel AS teens and adults by email who are suicidal

because their parents are disappointed in them because they are " not

normal " . They do not choose to be different, and their lives are

difficult enough as it is, and this situation is not their " fault " .

And because I have four children, two of which are " spectrum " from

vaccine injury but doing very well with this diet, I can relate to how

many parents feel, and I am trying to help my children overcome their

injuries, just like everyone else here. But it makes me very sad to

know that some of the children currently being discussed on this

message board may one day send me email that they were not " cured " and

became NT, so they were never acceptable to their parents, so

therefore it is " all their fault " . Again I will say I am not saying

that you are this way with your own child, but I have seen it happen

too many times. This is very sad for me.

Second, I am now AS [actually HFA, but if I say that, then people

treat me even worse than if I just say AS]. I know exactly how it is

to say something that people think is inflammatory or whatever, when I

did not mean it to sound that way. I actually did think a few of your

comments were " not nice " , but whenever that happens, I just say " s/he

must be AS " [no, I am not saying you are, but I say that to myself to

try to understand things], and then I can understand a little better

and remove the apparent hostility.

But if I left every listserv and message board where people disagreed

with me, or thought my writing style was offensive, or sent me nasty

emails, I would no longer post on ANY of the listservs and message

boards that I do use. And I do get plenty of " nasty " email [people

can be cruel, trust me, most of society does not accept those who do

not conform], as well as many emails which indicate that my

information and opinion were valuable and helpful for that person, so

I am glad I continue to give my different opinion when I believe it

may be helpful for someone. When I receive a nasty email, I always

reply with a short message saying " thank you for your opinion, altho I

am sure you realize I disagree with you " . I will never stoop to the

level of the rest of society who would treat me like trash.

So I would ask you to consider whether or not you would really like to

leave this listserv. If you really do believe you should leave it,

then please do, but if you reconsider, I would like to see you stay.

I generally start a message where I am disagreeing with someone, with

the phrase " this is not intended to be offensive or inflammatory, it

is just my own personal opinion " , that helps me, you might try that

for your own messages if you think it might help you.

If you decide to leave, I have found that the " general " message board

associated with the gfcfdiet support group is much more supportive in

general than this listserv here. For example, several AS adults post

there, and even when I posted recently that I am only about 95% gfcf,

noone flamed me or told me that I was not doing myself any favors by

not being 100%. Yes there are disagreements on that board also

[people are people, even AS ones], but it is much more respectful, in

my opinion, of differences of opinion. Here is that url for you, in

case you don't already have it.

http://www.autismdiet.com/

I will end by saying that most of society considers autism to be one

of the most " terrible " of the " disorders " of childhood. So most of

society considers your child as a piece of worthless trash, not fit

even to breathe air and take up space. Please do let your child know

every day, that you love and accept him/her just the way s/he is. And

you will continue to love and accept your child, even if your child is

never " cured " . I can tell you from personal experience as well as the

experiences I have read of other AS adults, that if the child's own

parents give up on the child and do not love and accept the child,

then the child will grow up either angry and resentful of society

[future school shooters], or depressed and suicidal. This is the most

important thing anyone can do for their child, whether or not

autistic.

Okay I will get off my soapbox now. Thanks for listening.

[Guest guest]

I am sorry, I don't know your name so I can't title this mail. I like

your post to me so much, I printed it out and put it on my fridge. I

also would like to state, how true about society.....I am not As, but

I did and still do suffer from ADHD (grin..kinda shows huh?).

Actually having my son has taught me TONS, patience,how to respect

others(I know it doesn't show in some of my posts),and most

importantly, love. I have always had trouble expressing myself, and I

will definetly take your advice. I never mean to sound nasty or cause

hurt feelings, but people just seem to take it that way, I think it

is because I am direct and to the point in my emails and like I said

before, you cannot hear my tone of voice in a post to know that I am

not being rude or accusatory...

Anyways, I appreciate your taking the time to write this to me, and

I would love to stay here, I just have to learn how and when to send

a comment.

Thanks again,

Debbie

> Hi Debbie

>

> I generally stay out of discussions like this, but I feel compelled

to

> make two comments to you.

>

> First, I will mention that my opinion on the subject of this

current

> thread is that if some people don't see a problem giving their

> children these fries, then fine for them. And if other people

think

> it is a bad idea, then fine for them. But I will mention, that I

do

> take exception to one of your statements which I will comment on

here.

> And just like you, I will state that this is MY OPINION ONLY, and

I

> do not expect anyone to agree with it, including you, but it is one

> reason why AS adults do not like this specific listserv.

>

> You said in another message -- " I go to bed every night, just like

> everyone else on here and cry because my child is lost somewhere in

> this " Autistic " maize. . . . I also feel my heart break from the

> depths of my soul EACH and EVERYTIME I see a new member join onto

this

> list-serv....WHY you ask, because to me, that means it is yet

ANOTHER

> family that has to go through this tormented hell the doctors call

> " The Autistic Spectrum " . I wouldn't wish my life on even my worst

> enemy. I pray DAILY for God to help ALL of the familes involved,

not

> just mine. My eyes get red and raw, just like many of you, from

crying

> over the hell my child goes through and will CONTINUE to go

through, "

>

> Your last statement is true, life is tormented hell, but primarily

> because other people in society treat AS and autistic children like

> trash [understatement], and the parents as people with " poor

> parenting skills " . I had my MMR vax at age 7. I regressed at age

7.

> If anyone is really interested in knowing exactly what a child

> experiences with encephalitis, then I can describe it in detail,

but

> trust me, you do not want to know. But after that, everyone

treated

> me like trash. I am the child who actually WAS stuffed into

lockers

> and trash cans. I have been beaten, kicked, and choked. I have

been

> held down and cut with scissors, thrown from moving vehicles, and

set

> on fire twice by my " peers " . So yes, life was hell, and even now

> continues to be at times. But it is primarily NOT because of

autism,

> it is because of society's reaction to " people like me " , who are

> different and are therefore seen as defective through no fault of

our

> own. I have a doctoral degree and I am an attorney, but people who

> discover I am AS automatically suddenly believe my opinion is not

> worthy of consideration because " I am defective and do not

understand

> my own reality " .

>

> But what I do take exception to, is that the child is not " lost in

> this autistic maze " , and the general pervasive feeling I get on

this

> and other autism listservs and message boards, where parents feel

> their child is defective and therefore a lesser human being, not

> deserving of basic love and respect. I think it is very sad. The

> child may be different and/or injured, but I do not believe the

child

> is " lost " . And it is not the child's " fault " that they were born

> and/or were injured, but many parents are unhappy it is not the

child

> they " wanted " . I know you and the other parents here love your

> children, but it does make those of us who are AS and/or autistic

very

> sad to know that we are apparently not acceptable even to our

> own parents. I counsel AS teens and adults by email who are

suicidal

> because their parents are disappointed in them because they

are " not

> normal " . They do not choose to be different, and their lives are

> difficult enough as it is, and this situation is not

their " fault " .

> And because I have four children, two of which are " spectrum " from

> vaccine injury but doing very well with this diet, I can relate to

how

> many parents feel, and I am trying to help my children overcome

their

> injuries, just like everyone else here. But it makes me very sad

to

> know that some of the children currently being discussed on this

> message board may one day send me email that they were not " cured "

and

> became NT, so they were never acceptable to their parents, so

> therefore it is " all their fault " . Again I will say I am not

saying

> that you are this way with your own child, but I have seen it

happen

> too many times. This is very sad for me.

>

> Second, I am now AS [actually HFA, but if I say that, then people

> treat me even worse than if I just say AS]. I know exactly how it

is

> to say something that people think is inflammatory or whatever,

when I

> did not mean it to sound that way. I actually did think a few of

your

> comments were " not nice " , but whenever that happens, I just

say " s/he

> must be AS " [no, I am not saying you are, but I say that to myself

to

> try to understand things], and then I can understand a little

better

> and remove the apparent hostility.

>

> But if I left every listserv and message board where people

disagreed

> with me, or thought my writing style was offensive, or sent me

nasty

> emails, I would no longer post on ANY of the listservs and message

> boards that I do use. And I do get plenty of " nasty " email [people

> can be cruel, trust me, most of society does not accept those who

do

> not conform], as well as many emails which indicate that my

> information and opinion were valuable and helpful for that person,

so

> I am glad I continue to give my different opinion when I believe it

> may be helpful for someone. When I receive a nasty email, I always

> reply with a short message saying " thank you for your opinion,

altho I

> am sure you realize I disagree with you " . I will never stoop to

the

> level of the rest of society who would treat me like trash.

>

> So I would ask you to consider whether or not you would really like

to

> leave this listserv. If you really do believe you should leave it,

> then please do, but if you reconsider, I would like to see you

stay.

> I generally start a message where I am disagreeing with someone,

with

> the phrase " this is not intended to be offensive or inflammatory,

it

> is just my own personal opinion " , that helps me, you might try that

> for your own messages if you think it might help you.

>

> If you decide to leave, I have found that the " general " message

board

> associated with the gfcfdiet support group is much more supportive

in

> general than this listserv here. For example, several AS adults

post

> there, and even when I posted recently that I am only about 95%

gfcf,

> noone flamed me or told me that I was not doing myself any favors

by

> not being 100%. Yes there are disagreements on that board also

> [people are people, even AS ones], but it is much more respectful,

in

> my opinion, of differences of opinion. Here is that url for you,

in

> case you don't already have it.

>

> http://www.autismdiet.com/

>

> I will end by saying that most of society considers autism to be

one

> of the most " terrible " of the " disorders " of childhood. So most of

> society considers your child as a piece of worthless trash, not fit

> even to breathe air and take up space. Please do let your child

know

> every day, that you love and accept him/her just the way s/he is.

And

> you will continue to love and accept your child, even if your child

is

> never " cured " . I can tell you from personal experience as well as

the

> experiences I have read of other AS adults, that if the child's own

> parents give up on the child and do not love and accept the child,

> then the child will grow up either angry and resentful of society

> [future school shooters], or depressed and suicidal. This is the

most

> important thing anyone can do for their child, whether or not

> autistic.

>

> Okay I will get off my soapbox now. Thanks for listening.