Re: Advice

[Guest guest]

> Copied this from 1 year post op Boomasmom of the Oldies Board.

>

Fay,

Thank you! I have been running around my house today getting

it " clean " for it's first showing to sell. I took a break to read

some posts and found this. Exactly what I needed to slow down. I

wish I could. Thanks for the laughs!

Diane

> Dirt:

>  Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful

filter

> against  harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF

factor of 15 and

>

> leave  it alone.

>  Cobwebs:

>  Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the

bulb, 

> thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If anyone points out that

the light 

> fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim " What? And

spoil the 

>

> mood? "

> Pet Hair:

> Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by

claiming

> you  are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn play

animals for 

> underprivileged children.

>  Guests:

> If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into

one room and 

>

> close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home,

rattle the 

> door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say " I'd love you to see

our Den, but 

>

> Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive. "

>  g:

>  If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on

the coffee 

>

> table and insist that " This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter

her ashes. "

>

>

>  Painting:

>  Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty

wall with an 

> assortment of crayons and try to muster a glint of tears as you

say " Jr did 

> this the week before that unspeakable accident & I haven't had the

heart to 

> clean it. "

> General Cleaning:

> Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups

of water

> in  a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in

conspicuous 

>

> locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw

>  yourself on the couch and sigh  " I clean and I clean and I still

don't get

> anywhere. "

>

>

>

>