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Re: spouse weirdness

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IM sorry your going threw this .... And YESSSSSSS I AM and have been going

threw this ... If you want to chat one on one PLEASE feel free to email me at

candlelady4u@...

HUGSSSSSSSSSS

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you wrote:

..........He is now saying some really mean things to me

like " I don't even know why you had this stupid surgery " .

=======================

I would tend to agree that it is probably fear on his part but also

frustration that he can't make you well and perhaps a good case of false

expectations of what post op would be like. Maybe it never dawned on him

that you would be sick and since you are, he is envisioning the worst and

backing off emotionally like some men do.

Now, considering I don't know either of you, the above is only an assumption

but it is possible.

Hope things get better for you (and him) soon.

ICE

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Hi Deb,

I am sorry to hear that your husband is being that way. To be

honest with you my husband has ALWAYS been like that. I don't know

where my head was when I married him. LOL Anyways, I do agree

with the rest of the posts that this is an emotional time for our

families as well as us. I'm sure he heard all kinds of stuff before

you had the surgery to scare him. Just try to have patience with

him and right now you need to focus on yourself. My hubby goes from

Jeckel to Hyde on a daily basis (and they said women are moody:) I

just wish I could get mine to do laundry like yours. That would be

something.

Hang in there Deb!

It will get better and keep us posted,

Bridget Northam

> My RNY was 3/5/04. As I explained in previous posts, I have been

> VERY sick since. Husband has not been very supportive (he's been

> doing laundry and cleaning and such but not there for me

> emotionally). He is now saying some really mean things to me

> like " I don't even know why you had this stupid surgery " .

>

> I had this " stupid surgery " because, at 43, I weighed 357, I

> couldn't walk up the stairs without being winded and having my

knees

> and ankles hurt, I couldn't fit in most seats, and I HATED MYSELF!

>

> I think he thinks I am gonna leave him when I get thin... WHICH IS

> SO NOT TRUE! I don't know why he's being so insecure... he is

> attractive and NOT fat... he is being sooooo mean to me. I am so

> sad... I feel alone... I don't have support from the one person

who

> should be supporting me.

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?

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