If you see me eating or not eating ......

[Guest guest]

Brothers, Sisters, Family, and Friends:

You are getting this letter because you are family, a friend, a prayer partner,

or a member my support network. Over the last couple of weeks, I have

experienced sudden weakness throughout my whole body, especially while pitching

at softball practice. This total body weakness was brought on suddenly and to a

point where I could not throw another pitch. Actually, I was wondering if I

could even get to my car. This was after pitching for about 45 minutes

straight, but it was kind of scary. After consulting with , the wonderful

nutritionist at BID, and Jim, a muscle physiologist whom I have been blessed to

meet, and with others who have gone before me on the weight-loss journey, they

all agreed that I need to increase my caloric intake. In looking at the intense

workouts that I do at the gym, the more active life that I live throughout the

day, and then going and pitching softball, I was simply running out of fuel. In

taking in only 1200-1300 calories a day, I was only taking in what I was burning

in the morning workouts! In other words, I am running the engine on fumes! By

taking in so little fuel, I am actually hampering my weight loss, as my body

thinks that we are starving. Due to all of this, my calories have been upped

again to a goal of 1800 calories per day.

This brings up two problems. One is that I am scared to death to take in that

much, as I am very afraid of stretching out my stomach and becoming morbidly

obese again. This fear is not reasonable, but it is still there. I can only

describe the feeling of putting that much fuel into my body as being similar to

taking a pair of tweezers and removing a splinter from my own eyeball. Although

I know that I have to do it, my body and mind are screaming " DON'T DO IT!!!! " I

know that fear is not of God, so I am asking for prayer in this area. Being

that I am not usually a fearful person, and being scared of eating seems rather

silly to me, this is an unusual situation.

The second problem is that I simply do not have room in my schedule or in my

belly for all of this eating. I am going to be upping the amount of protein bars

and shakes in my day to make up for what I do not have room for. As I lose the

next 30 pounds that I am supposed to lose, I will be slowly upping my calories

to 2700 per day. This is all very scary for me, as I have never in my life had

to be told to eat more! Over the next 6 months, I will be losing the last 30

pounds that I am to lose.

This all being said, if you see me eating or not eating, please don't get overly

analytical. My wife knows all too well that I eat with great purpose these

days, counting everything that I put into my mouth. If you see me eating, it is

because I have to, as I am trying to get a certain amount of fuel into my body.

If you see me " not eating " when you think that I should be, it means that I am

having a physiological issue, such as a stomach that is constricting, and I do

not want to hurl in front of you. Most of the time, I have to eat by myself so

that I can concentrate on what I am doing, as if I eat too fast, I get sick, and

if there is a lot of activity going on at the meal, it makes my stomach get

tight, which could lead to my getting sick. If you see me eating at an event or

gathering, you may see me take some food, eat it, then take some more. This is

done on purpose so as to pace myself so that I do not get sick. I am very aware

with how much food and what kind of food I am taking in.

The bottom line is that I know that people care very much about me, and I

appreciate that. The kindness and support that I have been shown over the last

year speaks volumes about how much people love and care about me. As much as I

appreciate everybody caring about me, I need your understanding as well, as I am

taking very good care of myself, following doctors orders, and being kept

accountable by my wife, who has been to almost every meeting and appointment

with me and can recite what the doctor or nutritionist said verbatim. She has

been an awesome help in all of this. My promise to all of you is that I will

continue to take very good care of myself, so please don't worry about me. In

sharing this with you, I am letting you know that I understand your concerns and

covet your prayers, but I am doing fine.

God bless,

Joe

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