Re: Diets, .......Long

[Guest guest]

Wow, I go off board for a couple of days and great threads like this

come up. Sorry this is late but I have my two cents to throw in.

I have never been a binge eater, but that doesn't mean I've never

binged once. Yes, I had pizza parties as a kid and ate cookie dough.

I ate bad food in normal quantities, the same as my skinny sister and

I was the chubby one. I started dieting in junior high. At the height

of stupidity, apparently, I decided it was a good idea to only eat

one meal a day. Suffice it to say, I spent so much time occupying

myself with things other than food that I lost weight and was a

straight A student.

High school rolls around, start eating again, gain back 30lbs I lost

and by senior year, weighed 195. Tried Herbalife, ech, lost 8 pounds,

wooha. Freshman year of college, put on the freshman 15 + 25 for good

measure. I have no idea why as I don't eat any more than my thinner

roommate. By the time I get to my junior year, I go on Optifast.

After 12 weeks of nothing but protein shakes and water, then the

stage where you add one meal, then two, etc. My grand total is 56lbs.

At the lowest, I weigh 191.

Fast forward a couple of years. I weigh over 240lbs and am diagnosed

with a thyroid tumor. Shocker, that is the cause of my gaining my

Optifast weight loss back plus some. From that point on I try all

different kinds of diets: T-Factor, Hilton Head Metabolism Diet,

Rotation Diet, High pro/low carb, Redux/Phentermine, etc. Alternately

gaining and losing the same weight and getting fatter and fatter.

Then, at around 292 I find gastric bypass and think, this HAS to work

because otherwise I am at a point where I am giving up.

My highest weight reached 313, I now weigh 186. Now I am stuck and I

am sad about it. Yes I look good, yes I feel great and I am not

beating myself up because I am doing everything I am supposed to. So,

this is my conclusion after all this rambling: All along, starting

with that first starvation diet, my body has been fighting for

survival. It became an efficient machine, using every tiny morsel and

scrap of food. Only after wls did I FINALLY get down under 200. Only

after haywiring this too-efficient machine did I get results. Yes,

frustrated beyond words that I was a slow loser. Frustrated that I

have stopped losing and worried I might need a revision and worried

that I am not worried about going under the knife again.

But you know what? I am not putting myself down for not getting to my

goal weight. I am not going to ever put myself in that category

again, of failure. Because, no matter what happens I am anything but

a failure. I am, for the first time in my whole life, a whole and

complete person. The reason for that is because I looked that beast

in the face and said " bring it on... " and that beast is me. For me,

that is figuring out answers to a lot of problems and starting to

accept that I am my own worst enemy and my greatest ally.

M

> > OK, I am going to go out on a limb now. I will probably be

> blasted

> > big time.

> >

> > Calcium. protein, iron, blah blah blah.

> >

> > Almost everything is addressed by exercise or good diet.

> >

> > I have no sympathy for people who had this operation and are not

> > willing to tow the line, I, myself, have not done so well. But I

> > take full responsibily for it. Excuses never got anybody thin.

> >

> > I am asking myself this: Am I really committed or losing weight

> and

> > maintaining a healthy lifestyle or do I just want a quick fix?

> Will

> > I be able tomaintain my good lifestyle now that all

> > the kudos are gone? How will I handle stress, adversity,

death,...

> >

> > Bring it on

> >

> > !

> > Smiles, Vicki A.