worry free & david in Texas

[Guest guest]

I'm afraid I have to differ with you on the retraining and how you think

about it, . Perhaps if I explain better you might understand why I think

the

way I do.

When you are MO you have low self esteem, no confidence, I became a hermit

for 8 yrs towards the last before WLS, so why bother to diet for it never lasts

anyway kinda attitude. I turned to food just like most people did. I grazed

and wallowed in that wonderful full feeling and when it was gone I filled it up

again. It was my comfort, my friend, back then. There was no retraining

because there was no will power. It was hopeless and I was helpless to help

myself.

I pitied me, I hated me, I doubted my sanity most times. I was a failure and

couldn't do the simple things to stop myself. I did every diet out there, some

I made up myself, did pills, shots..all the money I spent seemed wasted on the

likes of me.

Then came WLS, I knew this was my last chance. I knew if I didn't change the

way I thought about food, that wonderful full feeling I sought with each meal,

and my comfort in eating...I was doomed.

After WLS I had something to help me....a tool as it is called. A gift is

what I call it. It was my edge on something to help me when I couldn't do it

alone. Lord, how I tried all my life to lose weight, only to be disappointed in

myself time after time.

What I did with this tool to make it work was up to me and me alone. I did as

the surgeon suggested. Liquid stage was my starting point. Soft foods, in the

beginning, was where I saw I could easily slip back into the old habits if I

didn't change the way I thought about food. When I was able to have solids is

when my eyes opened. I still hadn't conquered all my old demons from the old

me. I needed a plan and decided to go to 5x a day.

I could see where solids, eating normal things, could be a problem for me,

too, if I didn't put a limit on the amount at each meal. I decided to make the

1/2 cup work. It was not easy, but I kept telling myself I don't want to be

fat anymore and I wasn't doing this by myself.

Each time I reach for something before it was time to eat...I pulled my hand

back and went outside or read. Anything to get my mind off grazing. I watched

the clock like a hawk until it was time to eat. When that time finally came, I

savored every morsel like it was my last piece of food. I still write down

what time I ate and what it was.

The only reason I could do this now and not before WLS is because I had

something to work with me...I wasn't alone in my struggles. I cannot emphasize

that

enough about not doing it on my own.

When the weight started to come off it only made me want to try harder. To

stick to the plan and goal I set for myself. Before WLS the fat came off in

trickles for all my efforts. Now it was falling off with every step I took and

even when I wasn't able to move around it still came off. I am semi-disabled as

far as movements like walking or exercise.

I think you presumed to much, , when you said " push away from the table "

mentality and making people feel bad. I am saying I couldn't have done it if

I didn't have the WLS to help me. I couldn't have lost the 128 lbs on my own.

WLS was it for me and I choose to use it for life and nothing can make me go

back. No food on earth is worth all I have conquered. I am confident and hold

my head high, but not one day goes by that I don't thank God for giving me the

courage to seek help and for helping me change the way I thought. Food was no

friend. I turned to it for comfort and what did it do? It stabbed me in the

back with every pound I gained. Food is fuel only and that is how I have to

think about it.

My demons are still there, but they are tucked away so deep they cannot rear

their ugly heads any more. I won't let them and they try sometimes still.

I co-host an online group and the same with a monthly meeting...helping

people is what I do. I have never told anyone any such thing to make them feel

bad.

I say, if you made a mistake today there is always tomorrow to start over.

Yesterdays are a thing of the past when tomorrow comes. I have been there...done

that, .

In both our groups we encourage our members to speak freely without

censorship. To voice their opinion, but not at the expense of others. If there

is

something they think is not right, we ask them to ask the person who posted if

they

meant it they way that person understood it.

We make decisions as a group not by just one. We talk about not not only

weight loss issues but on their daily lives. Why? Because everything we do in

our

lives be you pre-op or post-op revolves around WLS. That can be from day to

day life. Being able to care for your families, clean your toilet or your house

can be a chore for pre-ops, but a revelation to post-ops and our members tell

each other their accomplishments no matter how trivial it is for those of us

will always remember how hard the simplest things, most take for granted, from

tying your shoes to walking stairs can be before WLS.

I work on a daily basis to help those who have not been as successful as

some. To those wondering if WLS is their answer. There are times when my

maladies

warrant I sit in my chair, but I cannot for I answer every post and every IM

that comes in. A simple..hang in there or congrats for every pound or I am

proud of you, when they were able to push away from the table means a lot to

some

people. Gives them the knowledge that they are not alone.

Never once have I implied it's my way only. I always say to try different

ways that worked for others. Let us know when something works for you for it

might for someone else. We can all have the same WLS, but we all react and deal

with it differently. As we all come from different backgrounds and beliefs. Most

certainly do not think a like.

I am going on 59 yrs old now. Old dogs can be taught new tricks. I've learned

from others little things I hadn't thought of.

This new person I am now in body and in mind will always have the fat

insecure person inside her, but I will also have the tool to continue to work

with.

The thing I did learn was the longer I'm out, the easier it gets to maintain.

The loss is slow, plateaus a given, but inches come off when in one. Every

pound that does come off I welcome and cherish. I know how to keep it off for I

did retrain my brain and anyone can as long as they go into it knowing full well

it isn't easy in the beginning.

Sandi in Denver

> Sandi,

>

> The stoma, according to my surgeon, has a natural tendency to become as

> large as the piece of intestine that is attached to the pouch. The " hole "

> wants to become as large as the " pipe " it's attached to.

>

> With all due respect, I don't believe anyone who is MO can " re-train " their

> brain. The surgery and all of the complex notional feedback, hormones, new

> plumbing helps re-train the brain. If you can re-train the brain, why have

> surgery?

>

> I am thrilled your surgery is successful. Mine is very successful as well;

> I have no problem with regain and am in better shape than the vast

> majorityYour post has an " edge " to it......that people who are struggling just

don't

> have the moral fiber that more successful people have, and that reeks of the

> old " push away from the table " mentality that makes many people feel like

> crap about themselves all over again.

>

> of 50 year olds I know and see.

>

>

> From reading these posts for many years or now, some people have better

> results than others, and I don't think any of us know for sure why that

> happens. Probably many reasons.

>

> I get a HUGE kick out of being appreciative of the " grace " present in my

> life that has given me relief. The only credit I take is enjoying the hell

> out of it.

>

> Just my $.02

> in Austin

> RNY April 1998

>

>

>

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