Re: Am I Insane?!?

September 20, 2001

, , ,

You are NOT insane!! In fact, you are quite NORMAL to be reacting this

way!!! As I read your post, I was remembering ever so vividly going through

the very same feelings not quite three short months ago. Probably everyone

here who is post-op will say, " been there, done that. " Just know that you are

NOT alone. We are all here for you, and we will be here for you when you

re-join us on the other side!!! We will anxiously await for you to tell us

of your successful, uneventful surgery!!! You are not crazy, insane, or any

other similar adjective. You are brave, courageous and READIER THAN EVER to

get your life and your health back. We'll be rooting you on the whole way,

and doing the usual swinging of assorted livestock that has become one of our

trademarks.

Hugs and calming vibes to you,

Pam in MD

BPD/DS - July 9, 2001

Dr. Vanguri

September 20, 2001

At 1:02 PM -0400 9/20/01, Nahodil, wrote:

>Okay, I'm having a moment of panic here...I'm seeking calm but not finding

>it.

>

To be expected, Bri'.

>One week from today at this very hour I will be lying flat on my back,

Nope. You will be bound to the table, but you will be in an almost

standing position. But, you won't know that.

>arms spread, legs spread,

Guess again. They won't be spread. The OR ain't big enough for that.

>Dr. E. and staff hoving over my body with all kinds of

>devices, lights, cameras, sticking out of me as my insides are turned

>longways and sideways.

Now you're getting it, by gum!

>And why? because I don't have self-control enough to

>eat moderately and excercise until my legs want to fall off.

>

>NOT!

>

>Well, okay I'll be lying in a strange position, that part is true but this

Very true.

>is not about self-control. It's about my health and my genes. I've inherited

>Grandma Nahodil's propensity to be a big " gal " and nothing I've tried has

>been able to work. This is the court of last resort,

But, it isn't a death sentence. This court dispenses a good-life

sentence. Don't forget that! It's a lifetime get-out-of-[fat]jail

pass!

>I've exhausted all of

>my options and only made the situation worse each time I've " failed " .

>

>Now I know this is not really true, but I go through this once in a while

>and have the above thoughts of " I don't have the self-control " .

You will still need self-control after the surgery, Bri'. Just a

hell of a lot less of it, as least as it pertains to eating.

>

>I am terrifed and I have moments (l like now) when I question myself if I am

>insane to put myself through this. Mostly though, and thankfully, I have

>been rather serene about this decision lately. I feel like I'm loosing it.

>Is this normal one week pre-op??

Yup!

And the panic doesn't necessarily stop there. I just put on about

three pounds in one day--probably a water imbalance. So, after

weighing myself this morning (I can't be one of those faithful who

just look at the scales once a week or month; my electronic scale is

opposite the potty, and I hop on in the morning after my BM, when I

am at the lightest weight for the day) and noting the gain, I had a

moment of irrational despair: " What did I subject my body to? Why

did I do this to myself? All that trouble, and it's not working!

And, to think that I have to worry about eating enough protein and

drinking enough water--arghh!--and getting enough calcium, etc. for

the rest of my life! " Of course, on a morning when I have lost more

than a pound in one day, I am all radiance and sunshine. And, of

course, as you who have inherited my fat loungers to wear home from

the hospital know all too well, I now get into trousers that are at

least 6 " smaller in the waist than pre-op. But, rationality is not

always in control here. So, Bri', what you are going through, and

what many of us continue to experience is a chain of doubts and

fears--moments of panic. And, you are in prime time to experience a

whole bunch of them. But, as you recover, those moments will occur

less and less often, and they will be punctuated increasingly by

periods of joy and satisfaction.

Good luck, matey,

Steve

--

Steve Goldstein, age 61

Lap BPD/DS on May 2, 2001

Dr. Elariny, INOVA Fairfax Hospital, Virginia

Starting (05/02/01) BMI = 51

BMI on 09/19 = 41 (-66 lb.)

September 20, 2001

In a message dated 9/20/01 1:52:07 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

steve-goldstein@... writes:

<< You will be bound to the table, but you will be in an almost

standing position. But, you won't know that.>>

Is this really true Steve, or are you kidding? If it's true, then it sounds

like some of the pressure will be taken off my back during the surgery, so my

back might not be too bad afterward from lying flat on a surgical table?

Sheryl

September 20, 2001

VERY normal...I was in getting drugs the last couple weeks...

AJ

" Nahodil, " wrote:

>Okay, I'm having a moment of panic here...I'm seeking calm but not finding

>it.

>

>One week from today at this very hour I will be lying flat on my back, arms

>spread, legs spread, Dr. E. and staff hoving over my body with all kinds of

>devices, lights, cameras, sticking out of me as my insides are turned

>longways and sideways. And why? because I don't have self-control enough to

>eat moderately and excercise until my legs want to fall off.

>

>NOT!

>

>Well, okay I'll be lying in a strange position, that part is true but this

>is not about self-control. It's about my health and my genes. I've inherited

>Grandma Nahodil's propensity to be a big " gal " and nothing I've tried has

>been able to work. This is the court of last resort, I've exhausted all of

>my options and only made the situation worse each time I've " failed " .

>

>Now I know this is not really true, but I go through this once in a while

>and have the above thoughts of " I don't have the self-control " .

>

>I am terrifed and I have moments (l like now) when I question myself if I am

>insane to put myself through this. Mostly though, and thankfully, I have

>been rather serene about this decision lately. I feel like I'm loosing it.

>Is this normal one week pre-op??

>

> Nahodil

>Fairfax, VA

>BPD/DS - Lap 9/27/01

>Pre-op Dr. Elariny

>BMI 46 +/-

>

September 20, 2001

If a person has to be nuts to have the DS then this is probably not

the place to ask our opinions. You'll find yourself in the midst of

a bunch of happy in-sane Post op DS-ers

Genetically MO folks don't lose and keep weight off and more than

bald people grow hair.

in Seattle.. smiling

> Okay, I'm having a moment of panic here...I'm seeking calm but not

finding

> it.

>

> Now I know this is not really true, but I go through this once in a

while

> and have the above thoughts of " I don't have the self-control " .

>

> I am terrifed and I have moments (l like now) when I question

myself if I am

> insane to put myself through this. Mostly though, and thankfully,

I have

> been rather serene about this decision lately. I feel like I'm

loosing it.

> Is this normal one week pre-op??

>

> Nahodil

> Fairfax, VA

>

September 20, 2001

,

I think all of us get nervous just before the big event. This is major

surgery and your life will change forever. I was one who had problems. There

are several on this list who did and many even worse than mine. I bet if you

asked any of us would we do it again knowing we would go through the

surgical nightmare we would still say yes. For me life before the DS was no

life at all. Now I am feeling almost normal and looking better all the time.

The DS gave me my life back.

Angels hover ever near,

DS 4/11/01