Re: Daycare and aggression

[Guest guest]

I have just a few comments because I seem to have experience on both

sides. I teach in Sunday School and VBS off and on. I and most of the

other teachers/leaders are just parents trying to do a good job. We

are not trained to handle special needs kids, including violent ones

whether they are ASD or not. The classes are usually full enough with

out additional outbursts. Safety of all the kids is a primary goal so

anyone hitting, biting, punching, kicking, etc would need to be

removed to another area or with an adult for the protection of the

other kids. It isn't their fault another child gets out of control

and no one wants their child hurt even if they don't blame the

violent child for being out of control. I would pull my kids out very

quickly if I learned that a violent child was allowed to stay in a

program without special assistance to make sure my child wasn't

injured. I have in fact done that even though I know the other boy

wasn't capable of controlling himself through no fault of his own. My

son " put up with it " for 9 months and because it continued I said

that was enough for him.

Now, my older son is not violent in that he deliberately punches or

kicks others. However, he used to get upset and move abruptly which

at times causes another child to get pushed over. Or he would scream

in their face or grab something from their hands. He was removed from

a public school class a few times for " disruption. " And I think the

teachers did the right thing. I told them that the other kids

certainly didn't need to deal with this or feel like they were in

danger. Just constantly being afraid you might be hurt is damaging as

well. He was given an aide to watch him and she took him out of the

class when he needed it. Yes, I would have loved for him to be with

the rest of the group, but he wasn't capable of doing it yet. I

removed him from a home day care because the other kids were getting

pushed around (although very minorly). I felt they shouldn't have to

worry about getting hurt, or their parents shouldn't have to worry

about it. I want my kids in a safe environment and should be

considerate enough to provide that for others.

Fortunately, my older son is recovered now and this isn't an issue.

But should it develop again, I will seek out the trained

professionals he needs, and not just insist he stay in a situation

that is hard for him or put him with unsuspecting adults and

children. This has nothing to do with a person being a first or

second class citizen or loved more or less. This is being responsible

about it. I think being very upfront about his condition with adults,

teachers, and sitters, helped them to be prepared for his limits and

have strategies ready. And helped me be realistic about what I could

or should expect from others.

.

> I do hope and pray that your son does not grow up to be an

aggressive

> child. And, I do not mean that in an ugly way!

Beth