I'll only be happy when I weigh such and such.

[Guest guest]

Hi folks,

I'll be 2 years post on July 17. I started at 282/size 28-30 (I'm

5'2.5 " ) and currently weigh in the mid 130's/size 6-8. When I started

out I swore I'd be happy if I just got under 200, then I reached

that, then it was 160's...and so on. Now I have it in my head I must

be in the oneteens. The problem is, I have been struggling in the

130's since February. It wouldn't be a problem since it really is a

good weight for me...but I'm falling into that " well it doesn't

matter if I eat this because I can't loose weight anyway " mode and

subsequently have bounced my way from a low of 129 to 136 as of this

Sunday...which threw me into the next mode of " oh I'm going to eat

this because I'm nothing but a fat looser " mode (two notches worse

than the last mode). So, am I going through a typical window of

oppurtunity has closed and self sabatoge cycle...and will it pass?

How can I get myself back into being positive...and purhapes being

satisfied with maintaning in the mid 130's? I don't think I've

maintained a weight ever! I have fluctuated by as much as 50 lbs (up

or down) every year since my teens...I can't even begin to imagine

wearing the same cloths this time next year. I guess what I really

want are some testimonials from others who have fallen into this hole

(I've really been here for a few months now) and have dug themselves

out to be a successful weightloss maintainer. I honestly would like

to get into the 110-118 range but realistically understand that

135ish is a good weight for me. I need to get out of my fat looser

state of mind and not gain any more weight...is this possible or am I

doomed to be an obese person again?? I had open RNY with 150cm

bypassed. Sorry these ramblings have gone on so...any insight would

be appreciated. Thanks.

Kim

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/27/2003 9:18:33 PM Eastern Standard Time,

Stangntpls@... writes:

> So, am I going through a typical window of

> oppurtunity has closed and self sabatoge cycle...and will it pass?

In my opinion, nothing " just passes. " Everything we do needs our attention.

You just made me remember something, " don't analyze, utilize. " Doesn't that

fit here.

We had a three day detox from carb thing going here a while back. People

were trying to get back on track. I wonder how everyone is doing who tried this

approach?

Fay Bayuk

**300/173

10/23/01

Dr.

Open RNY 150 cm

Click for My Profile

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[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/28/2003 5:34:27 AM Eastern Standard Time,

watnext@... writes:

> What seems to

> do it for me is to try to eat dinner early and not graze before

> bed...very simple, but still hard to do.

>

That is very hard to do. Hope you win the fight.

Fay Bayuk

**300/173

10/23/01

Dr.

Open RNY 150 cm

Click for My Profile

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[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/27/03 9:18:25 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

Stangntpls@... writes:

> I don't think I've

> maintained a weight ever! I have fluctuated by as much as 50 lbs (up

> or down) every year since my teens...I can't even begin to imagine

> wearing the same cloths this time next year. I guess what I really

> want are some testimonials from others who have fallen into this hole

> (I've really been here for a few months now) and have dug themselves

> out to be a successful weightloss maintainer. I honestly would like

> to get into the 110-118 range but realistically understand that

> 135ish is a good weight for me. I need to get out of my fat looser

> state of mind and not gain any more weight...is this possible or am I

> doomed to be an obese person again?? I had open RNY with 150cm

> bypassed. Sorry these ramblings have gone on so...any insight would

> be appreciated. Thanks.

>

> Kim

There is something incredibly wonderful than being able to wear the same

clothes, year after year...but for me, pre-op, it was worse than that ...

sometimes clothes I bought at the beginning of the season could not be worn at

the end

of that same season! As the season progressed, things never got loose; they

always got tighter and more uncomfortable. It was a challenge getting dressed

every day ... and a challenge paying for all these new clothes. This is a

total part of my past. Something that I had totally forgotten about until you

brought it up in your post.

Like you, there have been times in this journey where I was not satisfied

with where I was health/exercise/weight/size/flabbiness wise. Some of those

times I was like you. Beating myself up, feeling " less than " and doing very

little to turn things around, and everything to make it worse.

It has happened more than once to me.

There are other times, like now, where the dissatisfaction is resulting in

positive changes in my life -- where I feel like that wanting to be better is a

positive driving force in making food choices, exercising, taking my vitamins,

and so forth.

I have no idea why this time is different. And I am not honestly sure how to

make the " bad " time " good. "

I wish I did. For you and for me. Cause the bad time, for me, totally

sucks!

I can tell you one thing. It seems to me that when the bad time comes, it is

not about FOOD or EXERCISE or MY BODY WEIGHT/SIZE/SHAPE. Really, at its

core, the issue is about something else in my life that I don't feel to happy

about ... and the obsession focuses on the " weight " issues rather than on that

issue. When I see that, and I do change the real problem, it seems then I can

get my food/exercise/personal health stuff back in control.

This last time it was about work. I had overextended myself. I needed to

back off. I did. Then the taking care of myself became much easier.

Hope this helps.

se

Baltimore, MD

Open RNY 11/22/99, Dr. Sweet, Reading, PA

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11/22/99 324, BMI 51

12/6/99 301, BMI 47

1/27/00 280, BMI 44

2/22/00 270, BMI 42

3/16/00 262, BMI 41

5/31/00 244, BMI 38 (no longer extremely obese... just plain obese)

7/22/00 224, BMI 35

9/23/00 220, BMI 34 (and still obese)

10/16/00 216, BMI 34

11/7/00 210, BMI 33 (65 pounds from goal!!!)

5/8/01 196, BMI 31 (new goal 157; I am 5'7 " that would give me a BMI

of 24.6; 39 pounds to go)

9/13/01 196, BMI 31 (Stuck!)

4/2/02 200, ARGH! Very frightening moment. Hopefully I can lose back

down to 190 quickly!

4/28/02 201 (started a starch-free, 4 hours a week of exercise

program...weighed in at the gym)

9/22/02 Tummy Tuck, Thigh Lift, and Lower Back Lift, Dr. Shermack, s

Hopkins, Bayview,

Baltimore, MD -- 12 pounds of skin removed!!

5/15/03 208!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ouch.

[Guest guest]

As of this morning, I'm actually a couple of pounds below where I was

before the 6 pound weight gain (pre-the 3 day detox). But, that

could change tomorrow, of course. I do fluctuate about 5 pounds in

either direction, generally, but I'm now at my lowest weight, which I

hit only once before for about 5 minutes. I'm happy. What seems to

do it for me is to try to eat dinner early and not graze before

bed...very simple, but still hard to do.

in NJ

*********************

>>

> We had a three day detox from carb thing going here a while back.

People were trying to get back on track. I wonder how everyone is

doing who tried this approach?

>