Re: How much to tell and say

[Guest guest]

You are also wise, Vhurgo, I think, to realise that some people --

more than most of us expect -- will expect us to " justify " our

decisions to them. I have been amazed at the number of folks who have

figured that they could/should second-guess the decisions I and my

professionals made with regard to my health.

In my case, it wasn't bad, and was mostly meant kindly, as in " I

don't see anything wrong with your teeth now. " (Answer: No, you

don't, thank goodness, but you're not my periodontist, who tells me

there won't BE any teeth pretty soon if I don't do this!)

I was fortunate in that my husband was most supportive -- if

anything, frustrated that I needed almost no help, post-op. But some

parents take it almost as a personal attack, as do some husbands and

siblings. I don't understand, but I do recognize the syndrome when I

see it, and it must be most disheartening for the patient, who

already has full hands, head and heart in deciding to go ahead!

Cammie

> Cammie, I am pretty happy to just let it all out to the one friend

becuase this has definitely taken over my thoughts for a long already

and a long time to come. But I guess if there was a husband and kids

it would be different. They would need to know. Obviously I am able

to talk to all about braces but I think the surgery I prefer to

handle alone. I am not exactly sure why but I really don't want to go

about justifying things like this which I am doing for my benefit. I

think I might have too and I find that way too tiring.

> As my friend said, once the decision is made and you have committed

myself I don't want to hear that it's a bad idea. It was really hard

to come to peace with this and any doubt put into my head at this

point does not help.

> I do know for others it's a completely different situation.